I went to Taco Bell and order nacho fries
the person behind the counter wouldn't give them to me, just kept saying "nacho fries".
Q: Why did the orange cross the road?
A: Because everyone thought he was a chicken.
What's in a honeymoon salad?
Lettuce alone
Udon even know how to cook this udon recipe. Fortunately, I can teach you.
What is the best way to cook alligator meat? With a croc pot!
What did the banker want from the baker?
To pump her nickels.
What does it do before it rains candy? It sprinkles! What do you call dancing chocolate bar? Nestle Crunk bar.
My brother gave me whole milk, but I can only have nut milk with my cereal. How dairy!
I lost one pea from my plate at dinner the other day. It was an escape-pea.
How do you share a piece of cheese with a bear?
Caerphilly.
When you push a strawberry down a hill, you make a strawberry turnover.
When potato chips don’t sell fast enough, the maker knows it will soon be crunch time.
I can’t remember who it’s by, but you could have “It Started With A Hershey’s Kiss”.
The man next to her on the train spilled coffee all over her shirt. She responded by showing him dis-stain.
What do teachers drink at school? Facul-Tea.
When does a hot dog have a close shave? At the barber-cue!
What happened when the butcher backed up into the meat grinder? He got a little behind in his work!
I like my wine sweet and my humor dry.
How should you bury an onion?
... in a shallot grave!
Where's the best place to get information about eggs?
The hen-cyclopedia.
"You're the wine that I want."
My friend exports the lilikoi fruit...
He says it’s his passion.
What did the cow say to his friend when they met twice in the same day? “What a cow-incidence!”
Why did the Oreo go to the dentist? Because it lost its filling
What did the boy bacon say to the girl bacon? Girl, you're bacon my heart melt.
Why did the cookie cry? Because his mother was a wafer so long! Why do we cook bacon and bake cookies?
Why does salt make everything taste better
Because it's sodi-yummm!
Why doesn’t anyone like to hang out with crackers?
Someone always cuts the cheese.
Knock Knock.
Who’s there? Donut. Donut who? Donut ask, it’s a secret!
The favorite drink for batman is a fruit punch.
Hot dog, I love a good meat pun.
When I told my friend an onion pun, he started crying. I asked whether they were tears of happiness?
Why did the croissants take the donuts and bagels to Disneyland?
They thought it would be fun for the hole family.
What is the name of the horse that a knight onion rides? They ride a scallion.
Did you hear about the cheese failed to medal at the olympics? It fell at the final curdle
Did you hear about the frozen dessert whose wife had a baby?
Now he’s a popsicle.
Did you hear about the butcher who sat on his bacon slicer?
He got a little behind in his deliveries.
After I helped a peach with some work, she said, "I really ap-peach-iate your help!"
What do u get from a perverted apple? Hard Cider.
I once saw an onion that had been preserved for ages. It was an Egyptian onion.
Why couldn’t the peanut finish the project?
Work came to a grinding halt.
I used to randomly steal beverages off people...
I stopped when I realized it wasn't my cup of tea
What do you call a cake that likes heavy metal? Megadeth by Chocolate.
Did you know that bread that you make into buns is always relaxed? Yes, they just like to roll with it.
Went to a German restaurant. The beer was fine,
But their sausage was the wurst!
How can you drop an egg six feet without breaking it?
By dropping it seven feet. It won’t break for the first six.
My Dad told me why Busch is the only brand of beer he ever drinks.
"It's the only beer that says it's name when you open it."
What beer does everyone at the orphanage drink?
Foster's.
What are strange donuts made out of?
Weird-doughs.
Just found a fly in my beer. I'm feeling buzzed.
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