What type of nut do you find in the toilet?
A pee-nut.
The students were going nuts when they saw all the assignments due in the curri-kola-m.
All the peanuts decided to start a social nutwork where they would all link up for a common good and even advocate for their rights.
Do you know how the pineapple feeds her children? She gives them milk from her pinenipples!
What did the doughnut say to the pizza?
If I had as much dough as you, I wouldn’t be hanging around this hole.
The worst type of criminal is he who mugs other people's coffee.
Have you heard the one about the lemon cat?
It was a real sour puss.
What do you call bananas who are friends with monkeys? A bunch of idiots.
Cows love music. In fact, they even have a favourite note: beef flat.
What does a surprised pumpkin say?
OH MY GOURD!
Did you hear about the little people starting a beer making operation?
It's a micro brewery.
What’s an orange’s favourite animal? An orange-utan.
When I took a break from having soup, my mom said "Carry on, why did you stoup?"
How good is a Coney Island gyro? Feta than se*.
The old and wise onion had once told me that life is similar to onions. Whenever we peel off our protective layers, we end up crying.
When the chef asked me how I would like my soup, I said "I would like minestrone".
Why did the citrus fruit join the military?
“Because it was a navel orange.”
Did you hear about the sea captain who made a special salt-proof boat for the salty waters of the ocean?
It was a sailing solution to cross a saline solution.
Q: Who is Peach’s favorite actor?
A: Brad Pit.
What kind of beer can you make from a potato?
Spud Light.
Why did the pig become an actress? Because she was a real ham!
Why do donuts hate puns so much?
They donut like to joke around!
Do librarians like white wine?
No, they like theirs well red!
How do two cherries make up after an argument? They cherry the hatchet.
What do you tell your friend after she breaks up with a cheese lover?
You’re cheddar off without him!
What do you call a pickle you got at a cheap price?
A sweet dill.
Do you know what you call it when you place beef between two slices of bread? You get a bull-only sandwich.
What did the apple say to the almond? You're Nuts!
Why do baby seals swim in salt water? Cause pepper water makes them sneeze.
What did the nut husband tell his wife? “Nut-ing lasts forever, except my love for you!”
Why did the coffee file a police report?
Because it was mugged.
What kind of wine do traffic cops like best?
Fine wine!
What did the boy say when his mom made him prepare the corn for supper?
This shucks!
What do you call an onion that is very valuable to jewelers? You call it a pearl onion.
How did the egg get up the hill?
It scrambled up.
What do you call a girl with no arms, no legs, sitting in a watermelon patch?
“Melanie! (melon-y)”
A scarecrow's favorite fruit to eat is straw-berry.
Who did the Caribbean jerk fall in love with? The Spice Girl next door.
Why did the butcher work overtime at the grocery store? To make ends meat!
Why does bread hate hot weather?
It just feels too toasty.
What’s the healthiest part of a donut?
The middle.
What do you call a beautiful pumpkin?
Gourdgeous.
What's the opposite of Green Tea? Fat-Tea.
Who does the nectarine just do a hair transplant? Because it wants to become a peach.
Q: What is a peach’s favorite book?
A: War and Peach
Having pineapple on a pizza is quite like going down on a cousin: It might taste good, but something is not right.
What can a whole orange do that half an orange can never do?
“Look round!”
My mom likes to feed everyone the soup she makes. She said it is her broth right.
You have two cows, but only milk one. Your friend asks you…
"What about the udder one?"
What is a scarecrow’s favorite fruit?
Strawberries.
Go to BabaMail
