What do you call a beautiful pumpkin?
Gourdgeous.
What is Whitney Houston's favorite kind of lettuce?
Ennnnnnndddiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiivvvee.
What's yellow and always points to the north? A magnetic banana.
I used to work at a nut farm
The work conditions were great but the salary was peanuts
What do dogs like to drink? Kit-Tea.
Ugh.. I ate too much hummus..
And now I filafel.
What do you call the Commander of a vegetable army?
A kernel.
The United Nations gave its members a basket of peaches on 21 September - the International Peach Day.
What did the salad lover say to his girlfriend?
You will Romaine in my heart forever.
What do you call a cake that likes heavy metal? Megadeth by Chocolate.
What happens after you eat an entire gallon of "All Natural" ice cream? You get Breyer's remorse!
Oh no! My wine glass is empty. Somebody call Wine-One-One!
Q: What kind of desserts does a turkey like?
A: Peach gobbler.
What was the watermelon’s naughty pick-up line?
“Want to see my melons?”
What do you call a girl watermelon cop on the beat? A water fe-melon duty.
What is the only thing that can cure a sick do-nut?
An antidought!
Join us for a slice of fun.
Do you know why does your mother often shave a peach when cooking? Because she only needs nectarines for the recipe.
I was walking past the store today when I saw a sign saying, "All items one-third off."
So I bought a dozen eggs. Unfortunately four of them were rotten.
What do you call an onion who wants to go on romantic dates in Paris? A French onion.
What do you get when you cross a pig and a centipede? Bacon and Legs.
If tomatoes are a fruit
Then ketchup is a smoothie.
"It isn't good to keep things bottled up."
The nectarine academic is doing a Ph.D. in 'Peach and Language Psychology' from the University of Georgia.
What do sophisticated fish drink? Salt-Tea.
It’s common for people with heartbreaks to crumble.
What do we call a scientist who specializes in pineapples? He might be called a pineappleologist!
What did the guest say when he arrived at the peanut butter’s dinner party?
“Nice spread!”
Why are you eating a banana with the skin on? Oh, it's all right. I know what's inside.
Why did the cheese get in trouble?
It was up to no gouda.
What do you call a lamb covered in chocolate? A Candy Baa. Did you hear about the love affair between Mr. Goodbar and Peppermint Patty? They had a baby, Ruth.
What do you find if you hang from a cherry tree for hours and hours? You find that your arms get sore.
Why did the burglar break into the bakery? Because he heard the cakes were rich.
What is the pineapple’s relationship status? Pineapply married.
Wino Woe: Forgive me, for I have zinned!
What do you say if someone steps on a banana peel? Well I guess he didn't find that appealing!
My friend is always trying to make cows nervous. She's a fan of milkshakes.
My neighbor said a man walked into my garden and stole my mangoes.
I am wondering where did that mango.
The nut stayed c-almond and collected during the earthquake.
I work in security, and i want to get a pumpkin for my desk
It shall be a security gourd.
I ran out of toilet paper, so started wiping using lettuce leaves
But I'm scared this is the tip of the iceberg.
Why can't chefs play baseball? They always get caught trying to steal a basil.
Why didn’t I believe what the cheese salesman told me?
It was too gouda to be true.
Time fries when you’re having fun!
When the onion band covered the song Waka Waka by Shakira, they started calling the song 'Walla Walla'.
Why do Jack-o-lanterns have silly smiles on their faces? You'd have a silly smile, too, if you had just had all your brains scooped out!
When do they smother a burrito in cheese? In best queso scenario.
A cup of coffee is the ideal start to a brew-tiful morning!
What is the favorite punk band of onions? It is a band known as "Good Shallot"!
What did the worm want to do when he grew up? He wanted to join the Apple Core (Corps).
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