Why do cherry trees smell?
Because George Washington cut one.
If you bake an oatmeal raisin cookie at a temperature of 666 degrees, what do you call it? Raisin hell!
Who is a potato’s favorite author? Edgar Allen Poe-tato.
Did you hear about the guy who put little G.I. Joe soldiers at the bottom of his coffee cup?
He’d heard that the best part of waking up is soldiers in your cup!
What did the pinecone say to the pineapple? Nice to meet juice.
What do we call a chicken inside a hot tub? – It is called soup.
What did the boss pig say to the pig worker for not working fast enough? “chop chop slow pork”.
What do you call a nut who works hard? One who burns the mid-nut oil.
What’s the difference between a Starbucks latte and a whore?
Nothing, they both suck and empty your wallet!
What do you call a person who spends a lot of time sitting and staring at potatoes? A medi-tator.
When should you go on a cheese diet? If you need to cheddar a few pounds
What did the cherry say when it was given a bunch of flowers? You are cherry sweet.
Time fries when you’re having fun!
Why did the cheese lover hide cheese in the back of his fridge?
In queso emergency.
I sat on some peas in the car. It was a bumpea ride.
Wondering about a peach's favorite sci-fi novel? It's 'When You Peach Me'.
I tried finding the dairy factory last night, but I had no luck. I must have lost my whey.
Do you know which the most favourite type of fruit of trees is? The pine – apple.
Why did the ice cream truck break down? Because of the Rocky Road.
How does Bob Marley like his donuts?
Wi’ jam in.
Why should you avoid discussing coffee around sensitive people?
It can lead to a really heated, strong debate.
Someone who eats bananas must like them a whole bunch.
What does an onion say when you are upset because of it one day? It says, "I am sorry that I made you cry!"
I ran out of toilet paper, so started wiping using lettuce leaves
But I'm scared this is the tip of the iceberg.
Why isn’t the tomato a vegetable?
It couldn’t catch up.
You have two cows, but only milk one. Your friend asks you…
"What about the udder one?"
Why do bacon lettuce and tomatoes have the lowest IQ out of all the foods?
Because they're in-bred.
What is a donut’s favorite day of the week?
Fry-day.
Not only did I have a good time at Taco Bell
I had a Baja Blast
Are you a taco?
Cause you sure taco lot
Q: How do you call a magic berry?
A: Cherry Potter.
When I took a break from having soup, my mom said "Carry on, why did you stoup?"
Italians are so good at making coffee because they naturally like to espresso themselves.
What do you call super expensive shoes?
Cashews.
Did you hear about the scientist that studied nectarines? He won the Nobel Peach Prize.
How did the pine propose to the apple? With a pineapple ring.
Why doesn’t the squirrel accept cash or credit at his store? Because it only accepts cash.
What do you get when you cross an avocado with a two way radio?
A Guackie-talkie
I didn’t have a map of the corn maze, so I had to play it by ear.
What did the salt shaker say to the graint of salt? Why you INSALT MEEE.
"Are you sure about this?"
"Crust me, I'm on a roll."
Lately my wife has been looking at me as if I'm a piece of meat....
And it wouldn't bother me, if she wasn't a vegan.
Which type of nut goes to outer space?
An astro-nut
Q: What anime series do fruits like to watch?
A: One peach.
I'm going to tell you all a story about strawberries.....
Once a punnet time....
The walnut was not good at sports but did really well with his macadamia at school.
I hear Jake finally broke up with his crazy grocer girlfriend; never could tell water problem was.
A thesaurus' favorite thing to eat for breakfast is a synonym roll.
What's an egg's favorite tree?
A y-oak tree.
Why did the orange lose his job at the factory? He didn’t concentrate.
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