What do you say to an avocado who’s done a good job?
“Bravocado!”
Lettuce stop these governmental leeks.
How are guys just like coffee?
The best ones are rich, hot, and can keep you up all night!
What is the only thing that can cure a sick do-nut?
An antidought!
I saw an egg behaving oddly today.
It was probably just a bit egg-centric.
What did baby corn say to Mama corn?
Where's Popcorn?
How do you say “four avocados” in Spanish?
Um, avo-cuatro?
"Oh, sweet child of wine."
What did ketchup say while spotting his friend at the gym?
Mustard all of your strength!
The man next to her on the train spilled coffee all over her shirt. She responded by showing him dis-stain.
Why did the orange’s musical number receive a bad review?
Because it wasn’t an “orange-inal.”
What is a corn's favorite song?
Corn fields forever.
I can't get my wife to try Mediterranean food.
She doesn't like hummus, which is a naan-starter.
Mandy: Our teacher went on a special banana diet. Andy: Did she lose weight? Mandy: No, but she sure could climb trees well!
What do all the onions decide to do over unfair wages? They decide to form a labor onion.
When the baby onion was misbehaving, the father onion told it, "You better behave, you cheeky chops!"
I seem to have run out of tea...
What a catastrotea.
Which sports team do wine lovers always root for?
The Reds!
Be careful what you say in a corn maze. The walls have ears.
What's a coffee's favorite karaoke song? Hit Me With your Best Shot.
Which vegetable is most likely to be your friend?
The broccoli.
Did you hear about the Italian chef with the terminal illness?
He pastaway. Now he’s just a pizza history.
I keep thinking I'll make breakfast pancakes, but I end up waffling.
Onions are unable to store water inside them because there is always a leek.
The national news did a story on my friend's bumper crop of green citrus fruits.
He loves being in the limelight.
My father is a farmer who grows strawberries. However, his business has recently gone into liquidation after he made smoothies.
What do you call the onions which are small and yellow and very naughty? You call it a minonion!
Milk aliens have landed. They said 'take me to your litre'.
What do you call a fruit that is rough around the edges? A bad apple.
The onion teacher was teaching her onion students about figures of speech. Today, she was teaching onionomatopia.
What do you tell your friend after she breaks up with a cheese lover?
You’re cheddar off without him!
Why are burgers bad at telling jokes? Because they all are cheesy.
What do you call a self-obsessed egg?
An eggomaniac.
Why didn’t the peach do well on its ACT? Because when it comes to education, it only gets a little STEM.
Did you hear about the man who used to be addicted to eating raw meat? Don't worry, he's cured now!
How old was the cave man on his birthday?
Stone Age.
Q: What video games do fruits play?
A: Peach ball.
My mom is really soup-rised at the outcome when she puts yeast in the broth.
I stopped eating pea soup. I gave it up for lentil.
Why is corn popular around Halloween?
Because it’s so earie.
What do you call it when vegetables have siblings?
Pumpkin.
I have to spill my guts, I love Halloween!
Soup is only musical when it is piping hot.
If tomatoes are a fruit
Then ketchup is a smoothie.
Where did the spinach go to have a few drinks? The Salad Bar!
Which nut is the best at playing tag?
Catch-yous aka cashews.
Did you hear about the cheese shop that was destroyed by a tornado?
All that’s left is da brie.
Why do we put candles on top of a birthday cake? Because it's too hard to put them on the bottom!
What was the cheese’s strategy when it ran for president?
Make America grate again.
What did the annoyed peach say to the mango?
Man-go away!
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