I don’t like mangoes. I asked my boyfriend if he thinks they’ll grow on me one day.
He said “I think they can. You just need to be watered properly.”
Where do vegetables keep their money?
In the credit onion.
How do you defeat a meat-loving vampire? With a steak to the heart!
"Time to wine down."
What are the four seasons?
Salt, Pepper, Sugar and Flour.
Ugh.. I ate too much hummus..
And now I filafel.
Did you hear the joke about the donut? Probably not, it was crummy!
The peach couple is in love. They seem to be born for peach other.
My bag of fruit snacks had all grapes
Today’s gonna be a grape day!
Have you ever wondered if illiterate people would get the full effects of alphabet soup?
What is a vampire’s favorite fruit?
A blood orange.
I like you a latke!
If that’s the case, would it be wrong to say that the unfaithful watermelon had an illegitimate daughtermelon?
Love is also like a pineapple: They both are undefinable and sweet.
I told my kids that ketchup can go on anything.
You know, It’s the least condiment denominator.
“How was your day? ” “It was a total disas-tater”
My son's has never really had much of an appetite.
But suddenly today he's eaten a dozen Kinder eggs whole.
He's full of surprises.
Why is it harder for Orange Juice to slide across a floor than apple juice?
Pulp Friction.
I went to the store today and bought some really oddly shaped eggs.
Now I can't find them. I think they've been mislaid.
What happens if you swallow a whole corn cob?
You get corn-stipated!
What do you call a watermelon that spends all day at the beauty spa? Must be a hottermmelon.
Do you know what the favourite soup of a ghost is? It is the Scream of Broccoli.
What is a cheese lover’s favorite rap artist?
Feta wap.
Why did the cow and the bull become so close? Because they became beef-friends.
When the orange started peeling, he was glad it was finally cutting some weight.
What is a pizza’s favorite movie?
Pie hard.
Why did the cow fall down while being milked? Because the rug was pulled out from udder it.
Don't use raw milk to make butter
It's not worth the whisk
Predictive Text
It's the scurge of the hummus rice.
Did you hear about the sign on the bakery that got everyone talking? It said “I knead dough to live.”
Patient: Doctor, I get heartburn every time I eat birthday cake." Doctor: Next time, take off the candles.
This year I'm carving my pumpkin to look like an intricate ball of rope, so it can be a gourd-ian knot.
How do you make an apple puff? Chase it round the garden.
I've been hitting the bottle pretty hard recently.
Still can't get the last of that ketchup out.
What kind of tea does Billy like?
Ability.
How did the coconut hit on the pineapple? It said ” you are the pina to my colada.”
I got arrested for the way I eat corn.
They charged me with a salt and buttery.
My girlfriend said we aren't getting married until she has a pear shape
It's the reason we cantaloupe
I used to sell loose onions
Until I got the sack
What was the donut’s least favorite part of its day?
I’m not really sure; it glazed over that part.
Plain popcorn? You can do butter than that.
Two hot dogs were having a race. One overtook the other, who called out “I see you’ve mustard the strength to ketchup with me!”
What do you call a pickle you got at a cheap price?
A sweet dill.
The least favorite day for an orange is a juice day.
Which search engine is popular amongst mice? Ask Cheese.
Why should you always bring a bag of tortilla chips to a party?
In queso emergency.
We failed to find the dog's bone because the owner berried it.
There are two types of people in this world: People who love chocolate and liars. A study says that chocolate may lower your chances of a stroke. That is, a swimming stroke, a golf stroke, a tennis stroke.
How did Reese eat her ice cream? Witherspoon.
If you get an email about pork salt and fat, don't open it.
It's Spam.
Go to BabaMail
