What would you call a dairy product that is horrible? “Udder bullshit.”
Why did the monkey like the banana? Because it had appeal!
Digital burgers are nothing but processed meat.
Why is the strawberry loved dearly by everyone? Because it is berry sweet.
My car smelled like bacon when I got home.
My porking brake was on.
What did Katy Perry drink when she was little? Bust-Tea.
How does Reese eat her ice cream?
Witherspoon.
Have you heard about the new meat that’s taking the world by storm? It’s a cross between a cow and a chicken. They call it “roost beef”.
I made some fish tacos last night....
But they just ignored them and swam away.
A boy lines up to get some apple juice and a girl lines up to get some orange juice
This would be funny but there’s no punchline.
What makes nuts healthy? They have many nut-rients.
Don't be a jerk-o-lantern
I lost 90 pounds in 30 days on the juice diet
Every day I bought one juice for 3 pounds.
Why did the cherry blossom tree seem scared when it was trying to make a cherry pie? Because it was baking like a leaf.
How do astronauts eat their ice cream? In floats!
Why did the banana go to the hairdressers? Because it had split ends!
How do you know that beer makes you smarter?
Because it made bud wiser.
Who does the nectarine just do a hair transplant? Because it wants to become a peach.
What did the banker want from the baker?
To pump her nickels.
Why was the birthday cake as hard as a rock? Because it was marble cake!
Do you know what is so special about the alphabet soup of Twitter? It only allows 140 letters.
I felt like telling you the joke about a strawberry jam on a piece of bread, but I won't. You might go around spreading it.
Things don’t always pine out the way we want them to, but we can-nut give up!
What do you get when you cross Ice, chocolate, a big strawberry, a giant pineapple, and cold milk? The worlds best Sundae!
Why is corn popular around Halloween?
Because it’s so earie.
Don't talk to him before he's had his espresso or he'll lose his tamper.
I like you a latke!
A berry from which you can directly drink out of is a straw-berry.
Why did the daddy peach teach the child peach to shave? He was starting to grow peach fuzz.
My boss accused me of "acting the monkey" at work.
I almost choked on my banana.
When potato chips don’t sell fast enough, the maker knows it will soon be crunch time.
What's the hardest tea to swallow?
Reality.
Did you hear about the guy who overdosed on curry powder? He went into a korma.
The mother helped her child bake bread because it was a labor of loaf. True enough.
What does a cheese say when you ask him to share a secret?
He cantal.
What is an astronauts favorite chocolate? A marsbar!
Did you hear about the guy who put little G.I. Joe soldiers at the bottom of his coffee cup?
He’d heard that the best part of waking up is soldiers in your cup!
What do you do with epileptic lettuce? You make a seizure salad!
When do bakers stop making donuts?
When they get tired of the hole thing.
What do you call two watermelons that are not allowed to get married? A couple of can’t- elopes.
I loved the soup that they served at the local restaurant yesterday. It was simply pho-nomenol.
A Blueberry asked a strawberry to go to hell.
That was berry rude of him
What did the M&M go to college? Because he wanted to be a Smarty.
What kind of party is held in a cornfield?
A cornball!
An artist painted a wonderful fruit painting. It was a beautiful peach of work.
What happened when the butcher backed up into the meat grinder? He got a little behind in his work!
I had a goat’s cheese pizza the other day.
He wasn’t happy.
What do you call a bacon wrapped dinosaur? Jurrasic Pork.
The soup was too spicy to be had by us. It was the borscht soup I had ever had.
What do you call a vegetable planted at a whore house?
A brothel sprout.
Go to BabaMail
