How do hot dogs greet each other? They say “give me some skin!”
Be like a pineapple: wear a crown, stand tall, and be always sweet on the inside.
You’re the tater to my tot. I miss you a lot!
So, what do you do with an epileptic watermelon? Simple, you make a seizure salad.
Did you hear about the love affair between sugar and cream? It was icing on the cake.
In the last peach race, I put $30 peach way on two new racers.
The cheap baker only paid his employees a flourly rate. Cheapskate!
On Valentine's Day, the peach said to his wife, "You will always have a peach of my heart!"
Make no bones about it, home made stock is a really good base for soups.
What did the egg say to the clown?
You crack me up.
What do get when you cross a chili pepper, steam shovel, and a Chihuahua? Hot, diggety dog.
We failed to find the dog's bone because the owner berried it.
If my Hindu girlfriend thinks I'm going to eat Indian food, she has another think cumin.
If I buy you guacamole, will you sleep with me?
You must think I’m some kind of avocad-ho.
When the little boy was baking a cake why did it run away? Because it said crack 2 eggs then beat it!
What do you call a dog who only eats garlic and onions?
A dog with a bark worse than its bite.
Fruit puns intended
Does he avacado? Because If not you should let that mango.
The man next to her on the train spilled coffee all over her shirt. She responded by showing him dis-stain.
Many people have puns, but they will nut tella you.
I was hoping my friend would catch the lemon-lime soda i tossed her.
But unfortunately Sierra Mist
Where does Thor grow his vegetables?
In his Asgarden.
How did the pine propose to the apple? With a pineapple ring.
Who is the most powerful potato? Darth Tater.
What does a pizza say when it introduces itself to you?
Slice to meet you.
"What do tofu and a dildo have in common?" "They are both meat substitutes!"
It is a great idea to ask peaches to make your shoes. After all, they make excellent cobblers.
What is ice cream’s favorite TV show?
Game of Cones.
Why did the police arrest the milk after it was poured into a bowl of Fruit Loops? They witnessed him drown them. They knew he must be a cereal killer!
What is the best part of Valentine’s day?
The day after, when all the chocolate goes on sale.
What do you do when you try to bake a cherry pie for the first time and it doesn't turn out so well? Just wait for the second bite of the cherry.
What do you call a hot dog race? Wiener takes all.
What is an elf’s favorite kind of birthday cake?
Shortcake!
What is ice cream’s preferred breed of dog?
Dashchundae.
Why don't they make ice cream from breast milk? It's an udderly bad idea!
Potatoes that are medi-tators maintain calm and peace even when uprooted.
Q: Why could the fruits not see anything?
A: It was peach black there.
Why doesn’t the squirrel accept cash or credit at his store? Because it only accepts cash.
Some types of meat like to play around a lot. These are generally the game types.
What did the avocado say to the fork? “You guac my world.”
Why shouln’t you rub avocado in your eyes?
You might get guacoma.
Be careful! Theres a deadly fruit on the loose
He has 7 charges of armed Strawbbery.
What do you call a depressed vegetable
Despairagus.
What did the nut say when it caught on fire? Roast-nuts, almond fire!
One day on the highway, I saw a packet of onions and cheese walking down the road. When I offered them a lift, they declined by saying that they were 'Walkers'.
What can a whole apple do that half an apple can't do? It can look round.
You know what they say about when life gives you melons?
You might be dyslexic.
What kind of salad do termites eat?
House salad
The sweet potato asked the other potato : “How are my eyes? ”
What is a donut’s favorite day of the week?
Fry-day.
Q: Why are orange and banana phones so popular these days?
A: They have appeal.
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