What did the glass of wine say to the beer?
Nothing... They barley knew each other.
How did the roommate who stole the last avocado from the fruit bowl justify her thievery?
“I know it’s wrong, but it feels so ripe!”
What type of nut do you find in the toilet?
A pee-nut.
I was hoping my friend would catch the lemon-lime soda i tossed her.
But unfortunately Sierra Mist
I am pretty sure that the favourite soup of Dracula is the Scream of tomato.
How do comedians like their eggs?
Funny side up.
What is the name of the onion ring that cannot but be funny? It is a Funyon!
What is a cheese’s favorite kind of philosophy?
Epistemology and fetaphysics.
What does a cat like to eat on his birthday?
Mice cream and cake!
Patient: "Nurse im suffering from bacon disease!" Nurse: "Baloney"
"Another glass? Wine not?!"
Why did the orange cry?
Someone hurt its peelings.
I used to sell loose onions
Until I got the sack
What can a whole apple do that half an apple can't do? It can look round.
What do dogs love to eat for breakfast?
woofles
What do you say to a small onion that has helped you?
Thanks shallot.
It’s time to think outside the pizza box.
Where do pepperonis go on vacation?
The Leaning Tower of Pizza.
What did the oranges do after concluding the meeting?
They peeled the deal.
What group of cheese has been known to fly? Curds of prey!
What did the coffee lover name his son?
Joe, obviously.
What happened to the man who turned into a pistachio?
He became a shell of who he once was.
“How was your day? ” “It was a total disas-tater”
What happens to a nervous nut?
It cracks.
Why did the fruit run for president? He wanted world peach.
What is the best way to stop a pizza curling?
Hide its brush.
What did the boss say to his pizza during their meeting?
There’s mushroom for improvement.
I dropped a bottle of ketchup on my foot.
It caused immense pain to ma toes.
hat did the pizza slicer say when he wanted to rob the pizza?
“Hand over the dough or I’ll cut you!”
What did the salt say after it was pepper-sprayed?
That's nothing to sneeze at.
Whenever I’m in France I always start the day with a bowl of mushrooms...
Breakfast of champinions
Did you hear the joke about the donut? Probably not, it was crummy!
Did you hear about the lemons that got sick?
They got lime disease.
I once saw an onion that had been preserved for ages. It was an Egyptian onion.
Why did the thief steal a pig? Because he was a hamburglar.
What is the national fruit of Afghanistan?
Talibanana.
What do you call a pig thats wrong? Mistaken bacon.
What’s the worst thing about a bread pun?
It tends to get stale.
While cutting the onions, my eyes were leek-ing tears
A strawberry's favorite place to visit is Jam-aica.
Whom did the cheesy Bible start with? Edam and Eve.
Don't drink too much coffee after breakfast. You might face a latte problems.
How sweet is only for girls?
Her-shey’s kisses.
I found a sour strawberry today. It was berry bad.
I've started a Taco Bell themed John Coltrane cover band.x
We're called Crunchwrap Supremex
What does a hippy cherry wear to a festival? A pie dye T-shirt.
A lorry load of pears has crashed on the motorway. It’s caused a huge jam.
"I'll be right back, I need to go for a pea," said the fruit during the interval.
What do you call cheese who attends art openings?
Cultured.
A strawberry usually gets stuck often when it gets jammed.
Go to BabaMail
