That wide loaf has a decent bread-th. Nice.
How did the avocado feel after a day at the gym? Hard core.
Why did the orange go to the doctor?
“It wasn’t peeling well.”
What is a strawberry that likes to spin called? A berry-go-round.
When I tried taking a picture of my bread load, it came out grainy. I think that that is a common problem.
How do you know if milk is expired? The smell is dairy bad!
What do you call a communist onion? You call it a red onion.
What does a cat like to eat on his birthday?
Mice cream and cake!
When my friend Frank died, his body was cremated and his ashes were placed in a decorative German beer tankard.
Now he's Frank in stein.
The reason he went smiling all the way to the jail is because the judge sentenced him to a life behind chocolate bars.
I caught the chef sticking his hand in the cooking pot. He looked at me and said...
"I was just feeling a little chili."
Why should you make a cherry pie for someone that you miss? Because absence bakes the heart grow fonder.
The oranges hadn’t been peeling well for a week when they finally decided to seek medical attention.
When it started raining, I spotted a potato across the road pretty fast and I wondered what’s up? It wasn’t long before I saw a fork up ahead.
Why don’t most people enjoy jokes about taco shells?
They’re too corny
What kind of socks do you need to plant cayenne pepper? Garden hose!
What did the waitress say to the customer who wanted free guacamole?
“You can kiss my Hass.“
You know I always wanted to open my own sandwich shop. I would have all the meat and bread money could buy...
Problem was I was afraid something would go a rye
At the bar mitzvah ceremony, the Jewish onion greeted his uncle by saying 'Shallot'.
Why can't the bankrupt Hindu complain? He's got no beef.
I wasn’t sure if I ordered enough tacos from Taco Bell.
So I got a just in quesadilla.
The cold broth is known to have lived in Stock-holm.
How are a car and a bicycle similar?
“You can’t make watermelon juice out of either of them.”
I have been trying to write a new pizza joke…
But I can’t work out the delivery.
What did the pea dad say after a tiring day at work? "I'm desperate for some peas of mind."
What would a potato say to a peach? – “You have a nice pit!”
When the onion band covered the song Waka Waka by Shakira, they started calling the song 'Walla Walla'.
What do you call 2 fruits that can't get married?
Cantelopes.
What did the cornfield say when it heard rain coming?
That’s music to my ears!
The oranges have great eyesight because they always keep their eyes peeled.
What do you call a dentist who doesn't like tea? Denis.
Why do donuts make terrible teachers?
They’re always glazing over the important stuff.
What do you call royal pineapple? Your pine-ness.
Why have a mer little when you can have a merlot?
What Welsh cheese must you always eat with caution? Caerphilly
My son's asked for a strange Christmas present this year. It's really cheap though so I don't mind.
I'm not sure why he wants an eggs box though.
What did the coffee say about its late assignment? Better latte than never.
When you cross a train engine with a strawberry tart, you make a puff pastry.
"Wine a little, laugh a lot."
What do you call cheese that is acting crazy? A basket queso.
The peach started acting all funny because it was really fuzzy.
Why did the donut go to the doctor?
He was feeling crumby.
What do you call a steak hurtling through space? A meat-ior!
I just got over my addiction to chocolate, marshmallows and nuts I won’t lie, it was a Rocky Road.
Nut cookies are the best gifts for nutty friends.
What do squirrels eat at the fair?
A-corn dog.
What did the man say after his boss threw cheese, milk, and creamer in his face? How dairy!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Cash.
Cash who?
No thanks, I prefer walnuts.
Sometimes, all you need is to shake a few trees to find the perfect peach for you.
Why do cherry trees smell?
Because George Washington cut one.
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