Join us for a slice of fun.
What do you call a rifle that shoots salt?
A salt rifle.
I mashed a few mangoes, pineapples, melons, strawberries, and grapes into a pot. Served the mash to guests visiting my place.
Called the dish, Mea Pulpa.
Why can't chefs play baseball? They always get caught trying to steal a basil.
What’s the best view you can get in our galaxy? A view of the milky way from mars.
What did the aged cheddar say when his mom told him he couldn’t see a movie that was rated R?
“I’m mature for my age.”
The thing about milk-inspired puns is you only reach 2% of their potential.
What's a hen's favorite shipping company?
Federal Egg-spress.
What do you call a self-obsessed egg?
An eggomaniac.
I met a girl that owned three french-fry factories. I was impressed but to her it was just small potatoes.
What do you call a very little cherry? Pit-iful.
How do you describe an onion which is in its early stages after birth? You say it is in its onion-ic period of its life.
What do two tomatoes do after not seeing each other for a long period of time?
They ketchup.
What did the girl dinosaur ask her pet dog?
"Do you want some tea, Rex?"
A musical strawberry jam that knows how to play the trumpet is called Tooty fruity.
What do you call one green onion that doesn't listen to anyone and is very naughty? It is called a rapscallion!
I got a packet of onions from the supermarket yesterday. Somehow, by today, all of them have disappeared. Guess this is why the shopkeeper warned me not to buy Bermuda Onions.
What did the expired milk say after being picked up way past its due date? It was well beyond their wildest creams.
Teacher: What are the seasons? Student: Salt, pepper, ginger...
What does a cat like to eat on his birthday? Mice cream and cake!
What did the orange say when a knife pierced it’s peel? Flesh wound.
Q: Why was the fruit not selected for the singing competition?
A: He has a flat peach.
My dog is sad after eating her favorite fruit and getting wet from the juice.
She's a watered melancholy watermelon collie.
What is an astronauts favorite chocolate? A marsbar!
Is it bad to swallow a cherry whole? No don't worry, it's just one of the pitfalls of life.
I think it’s funny when I ask girls whether they would spit or swallow my seed if I was a watermelon. Unfortunately, almost all of them reply not in a hundred melon years.
I tried finding the dairy factory last night, but I had no luck. I must have lost my whey.
What kind of ice cream does Dracula eat?
Veinilla.
How do you spell banana? E, V, I, L. Do banana's drink coke or pepsi? Neither, they drink blood because they're evil.
When I took a break from having soup, my mom said "Carry on, why did you stoup?"
Why did the potato wear socks?
To keep his pota-toes warm.
What did the steak say to his girlfriend? You're the apple of my rib-eye!
Singular: One mango
Plural: Two menwent
How does white chocolate turn into dark chocolate?
Turn off the lights.
What is suns favourite chocolate bar?
A milky way
Before I ducked out to the shops, my wife asked me to put ketchup on the shipping list.
Now I can't read it.
What‘s an Italian’s favorite tea?
Spagettea!
What did the salt say after it was pepper-sprayed?
That's nothing to sneeze at.
What is a strawberry's favorite music band? Pearl Jam.
What pizza do dogs eat?
Puperoni.
Who’s an apple’s favorite relative?
Granny.
Where's the best place to get information about eggs?
The hen-cyclopedia.
The IT peach-guy is an expert in the field of peach synthesis.
Why do the hot dogs with ketchup spoil early?
Because the sauce ages.
Here’s another one; what about an otter who lives in an emptied out melon? An ottermelon.
How do you spot a radical baker?
They’re always going against the grain.
What do you call an onion that is very valuable to jewelers? You call it a pearl onion.
What kind of pizza do you order on Christmas?
Cheeses Crust.
Apple and orange were the only two left that evening. Everyone else had dates.
On what radio station would you hear Bob Dill-on?
Vlasic rock.
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