What do you call a pastry that is a priest? A Holy Donut!
Why do wookies love chocolate chip cookies? Because they are chewy.
What sport are eggs best at?
Running.
What do you get from an Alaskan cow ? Ice Cream
Why did the man put the cake in the freezer?
Because his wife told him to ice it!
How do you defeat a meat-loving vampire? With a steak to the heart!
What is a chillin' banana's favorite song?
Mellow Yellow!
What is the charge for beating someone with a bottle of olive oil and a can of chick peas ?
Attempted Hummus-ide.
What do you call a very tall cherry blossom tree in Italy? The leaning flower of Pisa.
Did you get a side of hummus?
It's a hummuside.
A lemon got a job in a vinegar factory last week...
Starting salary was $15 per sour.
What do dairy products say when they make a basketball shot? Colby!
"Chardonnay or should I go?"
What is ice cream’s favorite TV show?
Game of Cones.
What is a cheese lover’s favorite type of music?
R n’ Brie.
You better watch out before you play a game with any bread? Baguette ready to lose.
Remind your kids not to overdo it on the pumpkin pie this time of year.
Or they might get autumn'y ache.
My biology class was going on and on, and I was stuck in the middle of it. Well, you know, this is how it feels to be an on-i-on.
So, what do you do with an epileptic watermelon? Simple, you make a seizure salad.
What's the only tea an Englishman can't stand?
Humidity.
When she spotted fake ramen in her soup, she said, “ This soup has impasta in it.”
What‘s an Italian’s favorite tea?
Spagettea!
A carrot went to a football game.
Wonder who it was rooting for.
Tony, where do I even starch? I yam so happy we’re best spuds!
Q: What kind of decisions do peaches make?
A: Fruitful ones.
What do French cherry parents say to their little cherries at home? You are mon cherry.
How do you make Ohio State University cookies? Put them in a big Bowl and beat for 3 hours.
My dad always used to tell me, "Never put all your eggs in one basket."
Which is probably why we lost the Easter egg hunt.
The perfect name for a sad and morose strawberry is a blueberry.
What happens when an onion burps at the most awkward time? It releases tear gas.
Did you hear about the sea captain who made a special salt-proof boat for the salty waters of the ocean?
It was a sailing solution to cross a saline solution.
What do you get when you drink milk
A moostache
Why does everyone want ice cream to be on their team?
Because with them, anything is popsicle.
My mom is really soup-rised at the outcome when she puts yeast in the broth.
My wife asked if I'd be available to drain some vegetables next week.
I said I'd check my colander.
Why did the giant use clouds to make pancakes? To make them light and fluffy.
What did the hummus say to the pita bread when he got sick?
I falafel.
The sweet potato asked the other potato : “How are my eyes? ”
What do strawberries wear to bed?
Jammies!
My wife won't let me become a bean farmer. Why won't she just let me work in peas!
What’s the only fruit that never gets lonely?
A pear.
Who's a pickle's favorite artist?
Salvador Dilli.
When you cross an orange and a bunny, you will end up with a pip squeak.
Why did the watermelon go crazy?
“He lost his rind.”
I can’t remember who it’s by, but you could have “It Started With A Hershey’s Kiss”.
What does the ginger bread man put on his bed? A cookie sheet.
The orange said to the melon, “You are one in a melon.” The melon replied, “You are so appealing.”
That wide loaf has a decent bread-th. Nice.
When is a birthday cake like a golf ball? When it's been sliced.
How do you say “four avocados” in Spanish?
Um, avo-cuatro?
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