Why do kids love to clean out the cookie jar for Halloween? To make room for Halloween candy.
Excuse me waiter, I have a question about the house salad.
Does it come with window dressing?
“I only like lemons,”
Said Michael zestfully.
I am really broth-taking when I see the signer vomiting soup.
Why is ice cream so bad at tennis?
They have a soft serve.
How did the pine propose to the apple? With a pineapple ring.
Why are acorns bad at telling jokes? Because they tend to be acorn-y.
What do fruit bowls say when they dress up as a ghost on Halloween? Be cherry afraid!
"What did the toaster say to the slice of bread?" "I want you inside me!"
What happened when a clumsy sommelier tried to decant a bottle of fine wine?
Things went pour-ably wrong.
What is the pineapple’s relationship status? Pineapply married.
What is yellow on the inside and green on the outside? A banana dressed up as a cucumber !
What do chocolate, men, and coffee have in common?
They’re only good if they’re rich!
Why didn’t I believe what the cheese salesman told me?
It was too gouda to be true.
A thesaurus' favorite thing to eat for breakfast is a synonym roll.
How did the baker cut four loaves of bread at the same time? By buying a four-loaf-cleaver.
During World War 2, sending food to the troops was a challenge. Researchers had to concentrate to figure out how to send orange juice.
Q: Why did no one like peach’s personality?
A: Because it had a heart of stone.
What are ice cream cones like as parents?
They’re big softies.
What do you call a group of men waiting for a haircut? A barbercue.
My herbs were looking a little scuffed, but when I went to go polish them, my friend was already getting ready to help me out. This made me upset, so I grabbed a sprig out of their hands and said
This is my thyme to shine.
When is the peanut butter due to arrive?
In a Jif.
What do you call it when a taco stands in your way ?
An obs-taco
Did you hear about the potato that got its head chopped off? It was decap-potatoed.
How did the vineyard launch the new champagne making business?
They crashed a small boat into it.
What do you call an onion monk who is present everywhere? Ommnion!
Like a pro wrestler in a headlock, I’m indulging in a little Sham pain.
What do you call a fruit riding a motorcycle?
“An Orange County Chopper.”
What is suns favourite chocolate bar?
A milky way
The reason orange juice doesn’t slide well on hard wood floors is Because of pulp friction.
My father is a farmer who grows strawberries. However, his business has recently gone into liquidation after he made smoothies.
How do you say “four avocados” in Spanish?
Um, avo-cuatro?
Everybody romaine calm.
What's a hen's favorite shipping company?
Federal Egg-spress.
Cherry pie will set you back 10 dollars in Antigua, but 15 in Barbados. Yes, those are the pie rates of the Caribbean.
What did the nut tell itself before crossing the finish line? “I pe-can do it!”
What's yellow and always points to the north? A magnetic banana.
The next person that asks me for pineapple juice, cranberry juice, lemonade, and a slice of orange all in the same glass is gonna get a “punch.
What do you call a pastry that is a priest?
A Holy Donut!
What do you call a talkative drink? Chai Tea.
What do you call a pickle you got at a cheap price?
A sweet dill.
Are there any funny red wine puns at BabaMail Jokes?
You bet Shiraz there are!
Why did the ice cream truck break down?
There was a rocky road.
My wife started a tropical diet
There’s so much stuff in the house it’s enough to make a mango crazy.
Vampires love cookies too, they love No-stake cookies.
When does a hot dog have a close shave? At the barber-cue!
Happy Birthday to my best spud….get it? ? Spud…bud? ?
Do you want to hear a pizza joke? Never mind it's too cheesy.
Why couldn’t the peanut finish the project?
Work came to a grinding halt.
The national news did a story on my friend's bumper crop of green citrus fruits.
He loves being in the limelight.
Go to BabaMail
