I saw an egg behaving oddly today.
It was probably just a bit egg-centric.
What's a redneck's favorite beer?
An open one.
I saw a joke about chocolate bars but it wasn’t that funny So I just snickered.
Which word can be used to describe a peach that is surprised, shocked, or angry with strong emotion? – Speachless!
Which is a meat patty's least favourite day of the week? Fry-day!
Did you hear about the scientist that studied nectarines? He won the Nobel Peach Prize.
What was the main job of the bread truck? To haul buns.
Picking strawberries can be a very fruitful endeavor!
The soup was busy and preoccupied. He was stewing over something his friend said.
What did the skeleton order for lunch? Spare ribs!
Woman’s Rejection: Sorry. I don’t date guys I pit-y
She drank so much coffee at work, she considered it part of her daily grind.
What would a pineapple say to a pineapple pie? You have some crust.
I figured out a way to chop onions without crying...
The trick is avoiding getting emotionally attached to the onion.
My doctor tells me I've got a bacon addiction.
Thankfully he thinks I can be cured.
Why did the man keep punching his doughy friend?
To get a rise out of him!
Why’d the lettuce blush?
It saw the salad dressing.
A strawberry's favorite celebrity is Mary Berry.
The unluckiest berry in the group is the one that drew the short straw-berry.
How do you get a Minecraft themed party started? Let them eat cake.
If you are wondering about the most important constitutional right of a peach citizen, well, it's none other than freedom of peach.
Not every legume can be a nut.
But a pea can.
How did the hotdog overcome his fear of ketchup? He mustered up the courage.
Onions are great at being psychologists as they let people cry their hearts out in front of them.
How does Bob Marley like his donuts?
Wi’ jam in.
What did the coffee addict say to his doctor?
I don’t have a problem with coffee. I have a problem without it!
What drink do you need to steal? Virgin-tea. Why do hipsters only drink iced tea? Because ice was water before it was cool.
What’s that green head of something that is the main part of a salad?
Lettuce think about it.
Talking at the local chocolate factory is frowned on. When I’m there, I need to wispa.
What kind of potatoes are in the best shape? Hash browns; they’re totally shredded!
What kind of birthday cake do they serve in heaven?
Angel food cake.
How does bread win over friends?
“You can crust me.”
The chickpea wrote a book, but he didn't release it until after his death. He wanted to do it post-hummusly.
Where do connoisseurs lock up their best bottles?
In a wine cabernet.
What do you find if you hang from a cherry tree for hours and hours? You find that your arms get sore.
In my friend's house, I saw an onion ring. So, I picked it up and answered it.
Trying to find a new place, I don’t need mushroom.
The baker just felt this incredible knead to make bread. That’s certainly the truth.
What did Katy Perry drink when she was little? Bust-Tea.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef!
When I got mugged on my way back from the greengrocers, I was peach-less!
What are a submissive's favorite vegetables?
Collared greens.
Bananas, for breakfast, are such an a-peeling choice.
The peach started acting all funny because it was really fuzzy.
Why was the slice of bread upset with her husband?
He told her she was being too kneady.
Drinking tea while being too calm can kill you, did you know?
It's called a casual tea.
How does a hen leave its house?
Through the eggs-it.
In the 1970s, hippies loved going to a Grateful Dead concert and getting toasted. That’s certainly the truth.
What did the duck eat for lunch? Soup and Quackers.
Why didn't the butcher cross the road? He didn't want to brisket!
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