Are you a taco?
Cause you sure taco lot
What do you call a potato at a football game? A spec-tater.
When I told my friend an onion pun, he started crying. I asked whether they were tears of happiness?
If you put your ear up to a Taco Shell
You can hear the Sí.
Potato puns are a-peeling.
What happens if a cashew falls down your shirt?
It becomes a chestnut.
What do we get when we mix an iPhone and a Christmas tree? A pine – apple!
What is the smallest onion known as? It is known as an electronion.
When she asked me if I like soup, I replied saying "I am crazy pho soups".
To catch a polar bear you surround a hole in the ice with peas
Then, when he goes to take a pea you kick him in the ice hole.
What did the Mama Hot Dog say to the little frankfurter? Ketch-up! Why did the blonde put a sweater on her hot dog? Because she wanted a chili dog.
What do we call a scientist who specializes in pineapples? He might be called a pineappleologist!
What can you only drink in the Middle East? Dust-Tea.
How can you tell if you are in love?
If they stole a pizza your heart.
An organization that citricises its workers cannot get the maximum juice out of them.
Why do pigs go to New York City? To see the Big Apple.
I once saw a guy burn to death after nutting
“He cumbusted”
My friend mashed up some cherries on halloween and said they were blood. I was cherry-fied!
What would you call two banana skins? A pair of slippers!
My dad always used to tell me, "Never put all your eggs in one basket."
Which is probably why we lost the Easter egg hunt.
I'm worried that the milk I got this morning was from a cloned cow. It tasted exactly like the milk I had yesterday.
Nowadays oranges have decided to go out with prune. The reason is that it is becoming so hard to find a date.
Why did the butcher work overtime at the grocery store? To make ends meat!
How do you make Pig Jerky?
Give them some coffee.
So, what do you do with an epileptic watermelon? Simple, you make a seizure salad.
Have you ever tried pineapple milk? Do you know where it comes from? Obviously from the pine – nipples!
"I'd like to make a toast!", said the bread to the bride on her wedding day.
Why do people love juicy pineapple? Because it “ripens” their day.
How does a cheese tell you they want to be with you?
“I think you and I would look gouda together.”
The nut gave her boyfriend the kola shoulder for missing their date.
The unripe strawberry wasn't added to the starting lineup of the game because he was too green.
You know what they say about ice cream parents?
They play flavorites.
What happened after the conifer fell in love at the orchard? A pineapple tree.
What do you call an ant dipped in chocolate? Decad-ant.
How are a car and a bicycle similar?
“You can’t make watermelon juice out of either of them.”
My wife asked if I'd be available to drain some vegetables next week.
I said I'd check my colander.
What happened to the man who turned into a pistachio?
He became a shell of who he once was.
My girlfriend spilt hummus all over her...
Can't believe that chick pea'd herself.
A cow usually prefers to eat moo-sli for breakfast.
What did the tortilla chip say to the avocado when the dip bowl was empty?
“We’ve hit guac bottom!”
I was visiting my dear old Grandpa the other day when he said to me, "Let me give you a bit of advice. You can't make an omelette..."
"Without breaking eggs?" I finished for him.
"No. You can't make an omelette," he said, as he scraped it into the bin.
What do you call a single, solitary kernel of corn?
A unicorn!
How are a car and a bicycle similar?
“You can’t make watermelon juice out of either of them.”
What do you call it when you walk into a coffee shop and feel like you've been there before? Déja-brew.
How many French eggs do you need?
One egg is un oeuf.
What day to eggs hate the most?
Fry-day.
Why are bread puns the greatest? They never grow mold.
What do red berries say during the season they love best? Cherry Christmas and a Happy New Year!
My father gave me a peach. I told him that I wanted a pear. So he gave me another peach.
What is a ghost pirate’s favorite kind of tea?
Boo tea!
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