What do you call a sloppy Joe made with taco seasoned beef?
Sloppy José
Did you hear about the man chopping an onion with the Grim Reaper?
He was dicing with death
Who is the most powerful potato? Darth Tater.
What do you call it when a cheese goes #2?
Fondue-due.
What do fruits do when they are avoiding a problem? They cherry their heads in the sand.
What type of keys does the gingerbread man unlock his door with? cook-keys!
What's brown and rhymes with Snoop?
French onion soup.
What did Katy Perry drink when she was little? Bust-Tea.
Onions are unable to store water inside them because there is always a leek.
Why does the jellybean go to school? Because he wants to become a smartie.
Why did the lemon like the orange? He’s not from concentrate.
What can a whole apple do that half an apple can't do? It can look round.
Why do golfers love donuts?
Always a hole-in-one!
What’s the best thing to put in a donut?
Your teeth.
I was walking past the store today when I saw a sign saying, "All items one-third off."
So I bought a dozen eggs. Unfortunately four of them were rotten.
The fruit politician is losing its support in the country because of hate peach.
When my friend Frank died, his body was cremated and his ashes were placed in a decorative German beer tankard.
Now he's Frank in stein.
When we spill soup on the comic book, we will get soup-erman.
What do you get when you dip a kitten in chocolate? A Kitty Kat bar!
Why should you live a pineapple life? Because Life is sweet.
There was a stampede out on the dairy farm. It was udder chaos.
If you get an email about pork salt and fat, don't open it.
It's Spam.
What do you call a house that likes food? a Condoment!
If you speak Hebrew and life gives you lemons...
You're an acidic Jew.
When can a pizza marry a hot dog? After a very frank relationship.
Why shouldn’t you tell a secret on a farm? Because the potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears.
If you throw your peas in the sky you get air pods.
My friend exports the lilikoi fruit...
He says it’s his passion.
What do fruit wear when they go swimming? A one-peach bathing suit.
Why did the orange come back after it was thrown in the garbage?
It was a boom-orange.
I tried looking up ice cream puns on the Internet...
But then my browser froze.
What do you get when you cross a bean and an onion?
Teargas.
I hear Jake finally broke up with his crazy grocer girlfriend; never could tell water problem was.
The student asked the teacher, “Cashew a question?”, and the teacher replied, “Nut now”.
What is the suckiest fruit?
A strawberry.
What is a cheese lover’s favorite track and field event?
The curdles.
Tobacco companies have made an orange flavored cigarette?
“They call it “Nico-tang”
What do you call a very tall cherry blossom tree in Italy? The leaning flower of Pisa.
What do you call a nut on a Wheelchair?
“A busted nut.”
The Bee Gees were such fans of onions that they even dedicated a song to it. They named it 'Chives Talking'.
So, how on earth did the police catch the watermelon thief without a solid description? Don’t really know; guess the bloke was acting seedy.
What did the nut say to his girlfriend at the pine-ic? “I am nuts about you, cashew see!”
Sir, did you realize the consequences of naming your son Taco Cheese?
"No, but I have grate expectations."
What do you call a womanising chocolate? A cad-bury.
What do we call two thousand pounds of Chinese soup? It is called won – ton!
What are the best vegetables to sleep under?
a can of peas.
Why are walnuts the best secret keepers? They walnut say anything to anyone.
What do you call a cow that only produces almond milk? One that went nuts.
What's the name of the meatiest Knight of the Round Table? Sir Loin!
You can only know the heart of a pineapple with a knife.
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