I got over my addiction to chocolate, marshmallow, and nuts.
I won’t lie, it was a rocky road.
What do you call a cow in a rooster costume? Roost beef.
Did you hear that the Lemon and the Orange divorced?
The Lemon was very bitter.
Why was the baker in a serious panic? He thought that he was in a loaf or death situation.
What did the cheese say when it looked in the mirror ? Halloumi (Hello me)
And what's its favorite Bob Marley song? Don't Worry, Be Frappé.
"Sip happens."
What did the perverted pumpkin use for his pick-up line?
Hey gourd-geous! Wanna go back to my place and squash?
What does a piece of cheese tell you during a game of tag?
Cheez it.
Q: Why did the fruit stop for some time while driving?
A: It wanted to make a quick pit-stop
What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef!
Why did the hipster burn his tongue? Because he ate his soup before it was cool.
You've really struck a gourd with me...
Oranges rarely pass driving tests, this is because they keep on peeling out.
What’s the National Donut Day theme song?
“Donut Stop Believing.”
What did the Catholic Nectarine Priest say to the church? Peach be with you. It was a normal thing to hear from the pul-pit.
What did the oranges do after concluding the meeting?
They peeled the deal.
What did the baby corn call his dad?
Pop corn!
What do you call two pears?
A pair.
Why did Mrs. Wine Grape run away from home?
She was tired of raisin a family.
One day, tamarind, curry and ice were crossing the road. All of a sudden they heard a gunshot. Then, tamabrind ball, curry duck and ice-cream!
"Hakuna Moscato. It means drink wine."
What is a cheese lover’s favorite track and field event?
The curdles.
Why does bread looks so bad in photographs?
It’s just too grainy.
What do you get when you cross a pig and a chicken? The best bacon-and-eggs of your life.
What's the manliest fruit to eat?
Mango.
Q: How do you call a magic berry?
A: Cherry Potter.
What do you call a communist onion? You call it a red onion.
Have you heard about the pig who killed his own farmer? He did it to save his bacon.
Fake ramen noodles are also called the impasta.
Nearly got knocked off of my bike by a council salt lorry.
You idiot, I shouted. Through gritted teeth.
Boil ’em, mash ’em, stick ’em in a stew. Happy Birthday from me to you!
An angry fruit yells at traffic in front of them
“Mango!”
I eat a ton of corn everyday.
I guess that makes me a cornivore.
What do you call an onion monk who is present everywhere? Ommnion!
Why did the pig become an actress? Because she was a real ham!
I tried finding the dairy factory last night, but I had no luck. I must have lost my whey.
If a crocodile makes shoes, what can you make out of a banana?
Slippers!
What do you give a dog with a fever?… Mustard, it’s the best thing for a hot dog.
What goes in dry and comes out wet. The longer I'm in, the stronger I get.
Why didn’t the mother potato want her daughter to marry the famous newscaster? Because he was a common-tater.
While cutting the onions, my eyes were leek-ing tears
Berries are the most fashionista of the fruits, they can really cherry off the wildest outfits.
Did you hear the one about the apathetic vegetable?
It didn't carrot all.
What happened to the lost beef shipment? Nobody's herd.
No one likes sausage puns, they are the wurst!
Did you hear about the love affair between sugar and cream? It was icing on the cake.
How do you defeat a meat-loving vampire? With a steak to the heart!
What is a ghost pirate’s favorite kind of tea?
Boo tea!
What do you call an onion that is very sick and has a high temperature? It is a boiling onion.
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