Michelle Obama’s favorite vegetable? Barack-oli.
Why was there peanut butter in the middle of the road?
It went with the traffic jam.
How did I make the mango tree fit in my flower-pot?
I planted it.
Hello my name is lettuce, and I was going to the grocery store...
Ah, I’m getting ahead of myself
Why would an oreo cookie need to visit a dentist? To get a filling replacement.
What do you call two cookies from the same cookie sheet who fall in love? A batch made in heaven.
A cup of coffee is the ideal start to a brew-tiful morning!
I love meat. I think going vegetarian would be a big missed steak.
A skeleton walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a beer and a mop.
"Let's get fizzical. Pass the prosecco."
What did the apple say to the almond? You're Nuts!
What kind of keys does a kid skeleton use on Halloween? Cook-keys.
What do you call solid gold bananas? A bunch of money.
American cherries generally do pretty well at high school. Many of them end up on the cherryleading squad.
I always wondered why the watermelon loving librarian never touched any of the books; turns out she’d red them all.
What cheese surrounds a medieval castle? Moatzeralla
I love the smell of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies They smell just like burned toast
What’s a potatoes favorite horror movie? The Silence of the Yams.
A strawberry usually needs batteries when it runs out of juice.
Chopping down other people’s cherry trees is definitely frowned upon. However, you likely won’t get into too much trouble for it – as long as you keep hold of the axe!
What kind of potato do you want to take home to your parents? A sweet potato.
What do fruit wear when they go swimming? A one-peach bathing suit.
If you speak Hebrew and life gives you lemons...
You're an acidic Jew.
I invited a turkey over for dinner. He was very late for dinner – when I asked him about it, he said he was busy getting dressed.
Ever heard of French Donuts?
They’re the Beigne of my existence.
The Japanese restaurant serves the best soups. It will always make miso happy.
What did the tortilla chip say to the avocado when the dip bowl was empty?
“We’ve hit guac bottom!”
What did the hot dog bun say to the hot dog? Stop touching my buns!
Why should you bake bacon on an asteroid on its way to Earth ?
It's meteor.
What would a pineapple say to a pineapple pie? You have some crust.
What is the name of the onion ring that cannot but be funny? It is a Funyon!
What do you get when you dip a kitten in chocolate?
A Kitty Kat bar.
How does a cookie wish his friends for Christmas? I whisk you a merry Christmas.
Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? SpongeBob SquarePants!
What do you call a very feminine cow that likes to be in charge? The Dairy Queen.
How are a car and a bicycle similar?
“You can’t make watermelon juice out of either of them.”
Why did the hen lay her egg on the axe?
She wanted to hatchet.
What did the coffee say about its late assignment? Better latte than never.
Why did the banana go out with a prune?
Because he couldn't find a date.
Due to unusually successful harvests of chickpeas this year, the price of hummus is going to fall dramatically.
Buy the dip.
I saw a strawberry with a gun, robbing a man. I am guessing he was in a jam.
Ciabatta stay away from me because I don’t want naan of that. That’s one way to tell someone to keep away.
Do you know why does your mother often shave a peach when cooking? Because she only needs nectarines for the recipe.
Why did the hamburger dress up as a computer? Because he wanted to be a Big Mac.
Why can't chefs play baseball? They always get caught trying to steal a basil.
Why do bacon lettuce and tomatoes have the lowest IQ out of all the foods?
Because they're in-bred.
Why did the aging bread roll retire?
Her career was already toast.
I was making a salad the other day, and I thought I heard a small red vegetable that was a bit like an onion whispering. Must have been a hoarse radish.
How can you tell if you are in love?
If they stole a pizza your heart.
Did you hear the little loaves playing hide-and-seek earlier? They kept yelling, “Bready or not, here I come!”
Fish taco says why don't you want to taco about it And the nacho says cause I'm nacho friend.
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