This foundation is rock salad.
A peach biologist was looking for a peach-tree-dish for his upcoming experiment.
Why didn’t I believe what the cheese salesman told me?
It was too gouda to be true.
Did you hear about the cheese failed to medal at the olympics? It fell at the final curdle
I walked into the kitchen and saw my wife chopping onions which made me cry
Onions was a good dog
I told my mom there was a crack in her mug...
She said, ”No, only tea.”
Why should you make a cherry pie for someone that you miss? Because absence bakes the heart grow fonder.
How old was the cave man on his birthday?
Stone Age.
Why did the butchers meating end soon? Because one of them started beef.
Why did the vegetable thief wet his pants?
Because he took a leek!
I'm worried that the milk I got this morning was from a cloned cow. It tasted exactly like the milk I had yesterday.
How do you know your eating rabbit soup? When there's a hare in it.
I thought of a new joke that started in a corn field.
But I'm not going to post it bc it's too corny.
The watermelon plant didn’t like sharing a garden with passion vines; but they started to grow on him.
What crime is an egg most afraid of?
Poaching.
What is the onion that laughs a lot and is small and white in color? It is a tickled onion.
What’s the healthiest part of a donut?
The middle.
All the other vegetables have always felt very emotional whenever they are near the onion.
Why was the sweet potato too shy to ask out the russet potato? Because he was a real spud.
A cabbage said to a DJ “lettuce turnip the beet!”
The only type of berry you will ever find in a barn is a straw-berry.
What covers the floor of the motzarella forest?
Cheese sticks.
Why did the butcher work overtime at the grocery store? To make ends meat!
What's the opposite of Green Tea? Fat-Tea.
just witnessed a chicken try to pick up a piece of corn for 5 minutes,
ImPeck-able.
What should you do if you drop a root vegetable face down?
Turnip over.
Why shouldn't you shoot pool using a pickle?
Because you'll find the cue cumbersome.
You make me hap-pea, we're like two peas in a pod.
Are you a vegan?
'Cause I yam.
What’s a milk’s favorite fruit? Cow-conuts.
Why did the donut go to a therapist?
He felt empty inside.
Why are acorns bad at telling jokes? Because they tend to be acorn-y.
Why do watermelons have fancy weddings? Because they cantaloupe.
What does the watermelon say to its girlfriend on Valentine’s Day? – “You are one in a melon!”
What is Tom Hanks' favourite soft cheese? Philadelphia.
What did the salt say after it was pepper-sprayed?
That's nothing to sneeze at.
Why didn't the corn chip advocate wear shoes?
They believed in Fritos.
Why did the banana go out with the prune? Because he couldn't find a date.
What do athletes drink before games? Sport-Tea.
My business that sells strawberry juice has gone into liquidation
I hate it when I run out of bread for breakfast. I am lack-toast intolerant.
Q: What kind of decisions do peaches make?
A: Fruitful ones.
I've written a book about a very grumpy British pea farmer, it's called "Mind your peas and queues."
Dad: Did you hear about the cow that was arrested?
Kids: No.
Dad: He was uddermining the authorities.
Why did the man put the cake in the freezer? Because his wife told him to ice it!
The cold broth is known to have lived in Stock-holm.
My Ex Girlfriend stole my Hummus.
I told that chick, peace
"I need to re-wine my life."
If you throw your peas in the sky you get air pods.
My wife hates it when I mess with her red wine. I added fruit and orange juice, and now she sangria than ever!
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