Some very good advice strawberries give to their children is to respect their elder-berries.
My milk found all these jokes to be pretty fun. He said they were a-moo-sing!
You spilled your entire cup of coffee? What's sumatra with you?
How do you know it’s getting kind of serious with a cheese lover?
They tell you they are pretty fondue you.
What is a cheese lover’s favorite rap artist?
Feta wap.
What do you get when you cross a pickle with an alligator?
A crocodill.
What day to eggs hate the most?
Fry-day.
"On cloud wine."
You know I always wanted to open my own sandwich shop. I would have all the meat and bread money could buy...
Problem was I was afraid something would go a rye
When should you take a cookie to the doctor? When it feels crummy. What do the cookie and the computer have in common? They both have chips.
What is a chillin' banana's favorite song?
Mellow Yellow!
What is the charge for beating someone with a bottle of olive oil and a can of chick peas ?
Attempted Hummus-ide.
What is a ghosts favorite soup? Scream of Broccoli.
What did man say to the guacamole?
Avocado crush on you.
What did the guest say when he arrived at the peanut butter’s dinner party?
“Nice spread!”
When the egg saw the pan, it was terri-fried.
What kind of ice cream does Dracula eat?
Veinilla.
hat did the pizza slicer say when he wanted to rob the pizza?
“Hand over the dough or I’ll cut you!”
What is the favorite punk band of onions? It is a band known as "Good Shallot"!
Why did the fruit bat eat the orange?
“Because it had appeal.”
Did you hear about the man chopping an onion with the Grim Reaper?
He was dicing with death
What is a hair stylist's favorite steak? A flat iron!
How do you know when a potato is high? When it looks baked!
Every girl is just like a pineapple: They both have many pointy defences, but they are still sweet and adorable.
What's a coffee's favorite spell? Espresso Patronum.
What do you call an attractive, Jewish lemon with no worldly possessions?
An aesthetic ascetic acidic Hasidic.
What is yellow on the inside and green on the outside? A banana dressed up as a cucumber !
The scientist was meticulous about his strawberry pies. He rounded up the protein content of his pie at 3.14.
What do you call a fruit that doesn't take s**t from anyone? The top banana.
What did one cherry say to the other cherry? If you weren't so tasty we wouldn't be in this jam.
I’m chocolate to my appointment!
Why do hens lay eggs?
Because if they dropped them, they'd break.
What eats nuts and bolts?
A squirrel that’s running late.
Why did the coffee bean keep checking his watch? Because he was pressed for time.
Why couldn’t the donut reach enlightenment? Because it was already holy.
While cutting the onions, my eyes were leek-ing tears
What happened to the criminal magician who ate to much salt?
Cardiac arrest.
I went to Taco Bell and order nacho fries
the person behind the counter wouldn't give them to me, just kept saying "nacho fries".
I steal my eggs from my next door neighbor.
I prefer them poached.
What do you call a frozen frankfurter? A Chili dog.
Why can’t people without feet have dairy products? They lactose.
A pine and an apple talk to a pineapple “Poor you, my friend! You are certainly adopted, dude.”
What's an astronaut's favorite meat? Launch meat!
Not every legume can be a nut.
But a pea can.
My neighbor said a man walked into my garden and stole my mangoes.
I am wondering where did that mango.
What do you call half a head of lettuce?
The Romaine-der.
What was the pumpkin's favorite sport?
Squash.
How many French eggs do you need?
One egg is un oeuf.
What is a cheese lover’s favorite Village People song?
Nacho Man.
What happened when an orange, an apple, and a banana all went on a picnic together?
They had a “fruit-ful” day.
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