Where did the garlic clove go to have a few drinks? The Salad Bar!
Q: What do you get when you walk around with cherries in your shoes?
A: Toe jam.
What did the orange say before jumping into the juicer?
“The zest is yet to come!”
A person who only loves himself and waffles in the entire world is an Eggomaniac.
If you are wondering about the most important constitutional right of a peach citizen, well, it's none other than freedom of peach.
Which type of wine only comes in a box?
Carbordeaux.
Why’d the lettuce blush?
It saw the salad dressing.
What type of relationships do hotdogs like to have? A frank relationship, they can’t stand lies.
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad to see me?
In a romantic date, Romeo says to Juliette “Baby! You are the pineapple of my eyes!”
What kind of wine do they serve at the horse races?
Chardon-neigh!
What did the steak say to his enemy? I have a T-bone to pick with you!
What happened when the butcher backed up into the meat grinder? He got a little behind in his work!
What did the father cantaloupe say to his son?
“Watermelon! (Water-my-lawn)”
What's the difference between French fries and orange juice?
You can make orange juice out of orange, but not French fries out of French
A Blueberry asked a strawberry to go to hell.
That was berry rude of him
Wine Lovers Rhyme: A friend of wine is a friend of mine!
My pet cow thinks she produces almond milk. She must be nuts.
What kind of wine is aged to purr-fection?
Mos-cat-o!
Wine if you must. It’s not good to bottle up your emotions.
Cow's that eat strawberries give strawberry milk.
Why do farmers make terrible comedians?
Their jokes are corny!
What was the cheese’s strategy when it ran for president?
Make America grate again.
If Megan Fox is a cake, then what is Amanda Bynes? A fruitcake.
The mama nut told her children to kick off their dirty cashews before stepping into the house.
The watermelon thief was charged with robbery with violence, but the judge later changed that to a minor felony; or melony as he put it.
Who named their daughter Macadamia?
A couple of nuts.
What do they call Chris Christie in New Jersey? Cake Boss.
Plain popcorn? You can do butter than that.
I eat a ton of corn everyday.
I guess that makes me a cornivore.
What do you call it when 13 preschoolers have just had their juice?
A Daycare's Buzzin'.
This special peach school is for those Peach kids who are suffering from peach and hearing impairment.
When we spill soup on the comic book, we will get soup-erman.
What happens when an onion burps at the most awkward time? It releases tear gas.
What do they serve at birthday parties in heaven?
Angel food cake, of course!
I sent back the soup served to me at the restaurant. It was not of soup-reme quality.
Why did the students eat their homework?
Because the teacher said that it was a piece of cake.
How much does a corn flake weigh?
1 Kelloggram.
An onion just told me a joke.
I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
You’re wine in a million.
Why did the orange fall out of the tree?
It went out on a limb.
Where do cows go to celebrate New Years Eve? To a meat ball!
Do you know how to get a raise at the bread factory? Try buttering up to the boss.
Soft fruit is not always the best at doing research. They aren’t very thorough; they tend to cherry pick information.
When it started raining, I spotted a potato across the road pretty fast and I wondered what’s up? It wasn’t long before I saw a fork up ahead.
What do you call juice with no ice in it?
Ju.
Why did they put Viagra in chocolate bars? You eat it, She says, "Oh, Oh Henry!"
Why did the birthday cake go to the doctor? Because it was feeling crumby!
What a spud muffin.
What do you call solid gold bananas? A bunch of money.
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