Back in the early 2010s, the peach children loved to flock around to listen to Peach Pit.
Why did the butcher work overtime at the grocery store? To make ends meat!
The two loaves of bread could not wait to stare through the delivery room window. They wanted to see their new bun-dle of joy.
Don't talk to him before he's had his espresso or he'll lose his tamper.
What do you call a nut that is crazy about exercise? A health nut.
What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter?
Pumpkin Pi.
What do you call a pig that can tell you about his ancestors? History in the bacon.
What did one nut say to the other nut when it was chasing it?
“I’m gonna cashew!”
What do you get when you dip a kitten in chocolate? A Kitty Kat bar!
When my friend Frank died, his body was cremated and his ashes were placed in a decorative German beer tankard.
Now he's Frank in stein.
Why didn't the drunk Mexican druglord find the Bacon Tree? Because he walked into a Ham Bush!
Why did the cheese get in trouble?
It was up to no gouda.
Why do we put candles on top of a birthday cake? Because it's too hard to put them on the bottom!
My bag of fruit snacks had all grapes
Today’s gonna be a grape day!
"Everything happens for a riesling, right?"
"Are you sure about this?"
"Crust me, I'm on a roll."
Good work, we’re raising your annual celery
"Scone be a lot of fun. Wheat love for you to join us."
What does the watermelon say to its girlfriend on Valentine’s Day? – “You are one in a melon!”
The innocent blueberry got easily framed for the crime because the evidence was a strawberry plant.
Why didn’t I believe what the cheese salesman told me?
It was too gouda to be true.
I figured out a way to chop onions without crying...
The trick is avoiding getting emotionally attached to the onion.
Drinking tea while being too calm can kill you, did you know?
It's called a casual tea.
"Partners in wine."
Why did the egg go to school?
To get egg-ucated.
Why is milk taller than you?
Because it's always pasteurize
When the mama peach found out that his child had failed his class, she was s-peach-less.
What do you get when it rains potatoes? Spuddles.
My best friend said we're like two peas in a pod. I'm confused, there's only one P in pod.
What do ghoul scouts hope to achieve by selling halloween cookies? They hope to make a good first impression.
An angry fruit yells at traffic in front of them
“Mango!”
Why are apples afraid to grow in the United States? Because they don't want to be as American as apple pie.
What do you call half a head of lettuce?
The Romaine-der.
What do elephants drink on vacation?
Peanut coladas.
National Herbs and Spices Day is celebrated annually on June 10.
How do you describe an onion which is in its early stages after birth? You say it is in its onion-ic period of its life.
What were the cheese’s wedding vows?
To havarti and to hold.
A man walks into a bar with a fried egg on his head.
The bartender asks, "Why have you got a fried egg on your head?"
The man replies, "Because boiled eggs fall off."
I miss you! I’ll see you tater!
Chefs earn a meager celery, cumin home beat they just want to read the pepper and spend thyme with the kids.
What is the correct answer to Hummus?
A cow.
How is bacon like southern Europe?
It's got a lot of Greece in it.
My friends say that I cannot cook alphabet soup for this dinner. And now they are eating their words.
Not every legume can be a nut.
But a pea can.
What did the two onions who were lovers say to each other before being separated? "Our love will forever go-nion on!"
Have you ever tried pineapple milk? Do you know where it comes from? Obviously from the pine – nipples!
Did you hear that the diet clinic was doing great business? They say that it’d really take your breadth away.
What is the national fruit of Afghanistan?
Talibanana.
How do monsters like their eggs?
Terri-fried.
One bowl of soup said to the other, "Hello Broth-er".
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