I was very surprised to hear those insane rapping skills from my green onions. It had lived up to its name of rapscallion.
Why does a cow hate artificial milk? Because the substance is pow-dairy.
The mama nut told her children to kick off their dirty cashews before stepping into the house.
How do you make a milkshake? Give a cow a pogo stick.
What did the boss pig say to the pig worker for not working fast enough? “chop chop slow pork”.
Q: Why did the cherry stop in the middle of the road?
A: It ran out of juice.
What do you call a frozen frankfurter? A Chili dog.
My friend is always trying to make cows nervous. She's a fan of milkshakes.
Like a pro wrestler in a headlock, I’m indulging in a little Sham pain.
How do berries start off the fruity olympics? They cherry the Olympic torch around the globe.
Be careful! Theres a deadly fruit on the loose
He has 7 charges of armed Strawbbery.
"Let's get fizzical. Pass the prosecco."
An artist painted a wonderful fruit painting. It was a beautiful peach of work.
What is the best way to stop a pizza curling?
Hide its brush.
What am I? A tea bag you dirty minded human...
What did the steak say to his enemy? I have a T-bone to pick with you!
I was surprised at the number of onions needed for this dish- it calls for shallot of onions.
What happened to the lost beef shipment? Nobody's herd.
The apple says to the pineapple “What? Go out with you tonight? It will not happen in a million years!” Since then, we have a crushed pineapple.
How do you know when a potato is in a bad mood? When they are acting salty
An organization that citricises its workers cannot get the maximum juice out of them.
I stopped eating pea soup. I gave it up for lentil.
What do we call a plumb pineapple? It is called a pineapple chunk!
What did the nut husband tell his wife? “Nut-ing lasts forever, except my love for you!”
What is ice cream’s preferred breed of dog?
Dashchundae.
How did Reese eat her soup? Witherspoon.
Beer doesn't make you fat
It makes you lean.
As two onions were crossing the road, one of them was run over by a car. Upon being rushed to the hospital, the doctor informed the other onion, "I have some news that is going to make you cry!"
Where were the first orange trees planted?
“In Orange County.”
Dad Ordered Taco Bell
Asked how many Dillas come in their Ques 'a Dillas
I tried finding the dairy factory last night, but I had no luck. I must have lost my whey.
You have two cows, but only milk one. Your friend asks you…
"What about the udder one?"
She got fired from the hot dog stand for putting her hair in a bun.
What do you call two male avocados who hang out and drink together?
Avocabros.
I recently read a book by an onion which had opened up on its life. Midway through the book, I started crying.
The strawberry was very good at racing because he was always juiced up before a race.
What's in a honeymoon salad?
Lettuce alone
My biology class was going on and on, and I was stuck in the middle of it. Well, you know, this is how it feels to be an on-i-on.
What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
Anybody can roast beef!
How does a robot eat it’s guacamole?
Microchips.
Why does Elton John HATE lettuce?
Becuase he's a ROCKET MAN...
Why are watermelons, such good entrepreneurs?
“They always have seed money.”
Why was the birthday cake as hard as a rock? Because it was marble cake!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you going to open the door.
What did the hummus say to the pita bread when he got sick?
I falafel.
The onion husband and wife had a fight, and she told him that he shouldn't have exposed all his layers because it was making her cry.
Donut even think about taking another donut!
What happened when the orange broke out of prison?
All heck broke juice.
Where do pepperonis go on vacation?
The Leaning Tower of Pizza.
My mother is so fastidious that she eats her alphabet soup in the alphabetical order.
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