What did the cherry say when it was given a bunch of flowers? You are cherry sweet.
What do you call a cow that has 1 leg? Steak
The onion husband and wife had a fight, and she told him that he shouldn't have exposed all his layers because it was making her cry.
What does a cat like to eat on his birthday? Mice cream and cake!
What does an ice cream lawyer say?
You got served.
Strawberries are great musicians because they make perfect jam sessions.
What's a baby gherkin's favorite TV channel?
Pickleodeon.
What did the man say after his boss threw cheese, milk, and creamer in his face? How dairy!
How do you fix a broken pizza?
With tomato paste.
What do you call a very little cherry? Pit-iful.
The orange juice industry is not doing very well.
Tomorrow they will give a special press release.
What do chemists make guacamole out of?
Avogadros.
I tried to make my own condiments but, the recipes change so fast, it's hard to ketchup.
Q: Did you hear about the pea that changed careers?
A: He went into a different field!
Sometimes a pea starts acting like a diva. We call them a pea-Madonna.
Why should you live a pineapple life? Because Life is sweet.
I always tend to forget the french word for strawberry sometimes. But, then I eventually remember the fraise.
Q: Which basketball players eat fruits?
A: The ones who like to cherry pick.
What did the deer say to each other when they were trying to solve a difficult problem? This is such a deer-lemma!
My wife won't let me become a bean farmer. Why won't she just let me work in peas!
What type of bar is kid friendly?
A chocolate bar.
What do you call a nut on a Wheelchair?
“A busted nut.”
What is the most affordable type of meat? Deer, it is always under a buck a pound.
What did you just call me? Just because we’re Dark Chocolate does not give you the right to call us “Snickers”.That’s OUR word.
Whom did the cheesy Bible start with? Edam and Eve.
What is a pirate’s favorite cheese?
Ched-arrrrgh!
Which vegetable is most likely to be your friend?
The broccoli.
The unluckiest berry in the group is the one that drew the short straw-berry.
Why couldn’t the teddy bear finish his donut?
He was stuffed!
Which nut is the best at playing tag?
Catch-yous aka cashews.
I made some fish tacos last night....
But they just ignored them and swam away.
What do you call a pig that practices karate? A pork chop!”
Where did the onion find his family history?
In the archives
If my Hindu girlfriend thinks I'm going to eat Indian food, she has another think cumin.
Did you hear about the pea pod that became damaged?
It had to wear a pod cast.
If fish is a type of brain food, then dumb people probably love eating noodle soup.
How does white chocolate turn into dark chocolate?
Turn off the lights.
Why did the coffee bean keep checking his watch? Because he was pressed for time.
Where should you call if you find a bad cheese shop?
The feta business bureau.
Do you know why do the hipsters burn their tongue? It is because they eat their soup before it gets cool.
My grandmother was famous all over town for growing delicious strawberries.
She made me promise that when she died, I would plant her strawberries on her grave so that people could enjoy them when they visited. When she passed away I fulfilled my promise. She’s dead and berried.
I've just invented a new Canadian beer
It's a form of I.P.Eh
This corn is a little rough to the touch. Looks like a job for Kernel Sanders.
I must confess that I've started stealing vegetables from the local grocery...
I can't help it! I get to the store and I have to take a leek!
Why did the strawberry get bruised? Because it was under pear pressure.
I have pea soup for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. That’s why I pea soup all night!
What cookie makes you rich? A fortune cookie!
I tried out a lactose free diet. I stopped because I couldn’t figure out how to milk the almonds.
What sound does a nut make when it sneezes?
"Cashew."
Why do bacon lettuce and tomatoes have the lowest IQ out of all the foods?
Because they're in-bred.
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