Why don't bananas snore? Because they don't want to wake up the rest of the bunch.
What do you get when you cross Ice, chocolate, a big strawberry, a giant pineapple, and cold milk? The worlds best Sundae!
What happens when you rub two oranges together?
You get Pulp Friction.
What happened when the butcher backed up into the meat grinder? He got a little behind in his work!
How did the egg get up the hill?
It scrambled up.
What drink breaks the ice? Flirt-Tea. How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.
When the bread started crying because it was toast, the loaf told him, "You deserve butter."
Did you hear about the cheese failed to medal at the olympics? It fell at the final curdle
Why did the cookie cry? Because his mother was a wafer so long! Why do we cook bacon and bake cookies?
What's yellow and always points to the north? A magnetic banana.
What do butchers say after they meet someone new? “Mince to meat you.”
"Back that glass up."
Broccoli: I look like a tree. Walnut: I look like a brain. Mushroom: I look like an umbrella. Banan Can we change the topic?
What do they serve at birthday parties in heaven? Angel food cake, of course!
I steal my eggs from my next door neighbor.
I prefer them poached.
What do you call a sad cup of coffee? A depresso.
What do you call a stolen yam? A hot potato.
How do you get a mouse to smile? Say cheese!
I can't use my laptop anymore because someone spilled apple juice on it.
It was a cider attack.
What did one slice of bread say to the other before the race?
You’re toast!
What do cheese makers dance to on halloween? The muenster mash!
The orange said to the melon, “You are one in a melon.” The melon replied, “You are so appealing.”
Q: Why was the cherry by himself?
A: Because the banana split.
The strawberry went out with the grape only because he couldn't find a date.
What do you call a pig squished by sand? A ham sandwich.
Which type of nut goes to outer space?
An astro-nut
What is a French cat's favorite dessert? Chocolate mousse!
What would you call someone who cheats others while selling milk? A skim artist.
I love the smell of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies They smell just like burned toast
Q: Why do peas dislike noisy eaters?
A: Because they want peas and quiet.
Why did the orange fall out of the tree?
It went out on a limb.
What's green and sour and swims in an aquarium?
A tro-pickle fish.
Breakfasts with my family always feel like a party because they're always making toasts.
How do you describe an onion which is in its early stages after birth? You say it is in its onion-ic period of its life.
My doctor told me "No more spicy food.", but I decided to have one last fennel fling.
How does white chocolate turn into dark chocolate?
Turn off the lights.
If mom leaves her alphabet soup on the stove and forgets about it, it would spell disaster.
What do you get when you cross a bean and an onion?
Teargas.
"Alcohol you later."
Why did the banana go out with a prune?
Because he couldn't find a date.
What do potatoes become when they smoke weed?
Baked potatoes.
Why do watermelons have fancy weddings? Because they cantaloupe.
How does a potato win at Street Fighter? By mashing the kick button.
Mr. Pea never did any work and yet always looked down on the other vegetables. He was a real peas of work.
The kindergarten kids were taught the alphabet and peach sounds at school.
What’s a potatoes favorite horror movie? The Silence of the Yams.
Did you hear what happened with the sourdough bread? It really rose to the occasion today.
What did the pinecone say to the pineapple? Nice to meet juice.
What does a hippy cherry wear to a festival? A pie dye T-shirt.
What goes in dry and comes out wet. The longer I'm in, the stronger I get.
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