A carrot went to a football game.
Wonder who it was rooting for.
In life, the rule of thumb is, don’t bite more than you can chew unless it is chocolate.
The informant obtained their information by burying themselves in the ground, disguised with a crown and some rind. Police called him the pineapple plant.
I didn’t have a map of the corn maze, so I had to play it by ear.
I had one nutty nightmare last night, it gave me a kola sweat.
Cherries are actually great at a lot of different sports. Their favorite one, in case you were wondering, is archerry.
A scarecrow's favorite fruit to eat is straw-berry.
How did the hipster burn his tongue? He drank his coffee before it was cool.
What is the wealthiest nut ever?
“A cashooo.”
What do you call a cup of leaf juice that doesn’t want to be a dad?
Absent-tea parent.
The watermelon thief was charged with robbery with violence, but the judge later changed that to a minor felony; or melony as he put it.
Americans were preparing peach gelatos, to demonstrate it's right to freeze peach!
The difference between popcorn and pea soup, is that you can pop corn, but you can't pea soup.
"I make pour decisions."
What does a good spice rack help you win? The Hunger Games.
Why did the police arrest the milk after it was poured into a bowl of Fruit Loops? They witnessed him drown them. They knew he must be a cereal killer!
The apple says to the pineapple “What? Go out with you tonight? It will not happen in a million years!” Since then, we have a crushed pineapple.
What did the nut say when it caught on fire? Roast-nuts, almond fire!
What did the vegetables say to the Salad Dressing? Lettuce all smile.
Why does the mushroom always get invited to pizza parties?
Because he’s such a fungi!
Someone who eats bananas must like them a whole bunch.
What do you call a pastor who wanders from town to town, looking for leafy green vegetables?
A romaine Catholic priest.
I squeezed a lemon on my wife's lap two hours ago...
She's been a sourpuss about it ever since.
My daughter picked up a piece of fruit and asked, "Is this a pear?"
"No," I replied, "there is only one."
What do you call fraudulent milk? Cow-nterfeit.
How do hot dogs greet each other? They say “give me some skin!”
Do you know the hardest part about making skimmed milk? Having to throw the cows across the lake.
A person who only loves himself and waffles in the entire world is an Eggomaniac.
What did the kid nut say to the other when playing tag? “I’m going to cashew”.
Why did the students eat their homework?
Because the teacher said that it was a piece of cake.
Why does the Pope love Swiss cheese so much?
It’s hole-y.
Why didn’t the chef slice his cheese?
He had grater plans.
Why do ice cream cones always carry an umbrella?
There’s a chance of sprinkles.
What do you get when you use a cookie cutter shaped like a deer? Cookie doe!
What did the ice-cream say to the unhappy birthday cake?
“What’s eating you?”
What happens when you go on an all-cheese diet?
You cheddar few pounds.
Q: Why couldn’t the orange believe that her friend had let her down?
A: This was because citrus-ted him!
How can you make a computer system cry? Delete his cookies.
I'm not too fond of not finishing my entire bowl of cereal. I think I have irritable bowl syndrome.
The bread baker won the girl over because he kept giving her a flour. How sweet!
What's the opposite of Green Tea? Fat-Tea.
I recently got told ketchup doesn't actually use tomatoes
But I can't find a reliable sauce on that.
If you are wondering about a peach's favorite game, it's peach ball.
As two onions were crossing the road, one of them was run over by a car. Upon being rushed to the hospital, the doctor informed the other onion, "I have some news that is going to make you cry!"
Why is a pineapple so attractive? Because it keeps its juices flowing.
What did you just call me? Just because we’re Dark Chocolate does not give you the right to call us “Snickers”.That’s OUR word.
For our anniversary, I gave my girlfriend a picture of me inside a pistachio. But that’s just me in a nutshell.
A new bakery in town began ding extremely well. They said that business was definitely on the rise.
What’s a good way to start a conversation with a cheese plate on Tinder?
“Hello. Is it brie you’re looking for?”
What do you get when you cross a cow and a duck? Milk and Quackers!
Go to BabaMail
