What is a vampire who loves eating strawberry jam called? A jampire.
Why shouldn’t you go into business with a watermelon?
“They’re seedy.”
American cherries generally do pretty well at high school. Many of them end up on the cherryleading squad.
Strawberries love delicious food. Their favorite is Jam-balaya.
How does the Skywalker family like their tea?
Lukewarm.
How do you know when guacamole has gone bad?
When it turns guaca-moldy.
What type of a computer does a horse like to eat? A Macintosh
What do you get when you cross a bean and an onion?
Teargas.
What do you say to an angry 300-pound baked potato? Anything, just butter him up.
What is a basketball players favorite kind of cheese? Swish cheese!
Bacon and eggs walk into a bar.
They take their seat and ask the bartender for two draft beers.
The bartender looks at them and says “sorry guys, we don’t serve breakfast here.”
“How are you? ” “Well, I yam fried”
I sat on some peas in the car. It was a bumpea ride.
Why do communist hate bacon?
Because it’s from capitalist pigs.
Do you know how to get a raise at the bread factory? Try buttering up to the boss.
How does a pineapple answer the phone? “Yel-low?”
My DJ friend took my advice and simplified his salad recipe.
he dropped the beet.
Q: What did the old orange see before it died?
A: The grim ripe-r.
What type of relationships do hotdogs like to have? A frank relationship, they can’t stand lies.
Why isn’t there an organization like Chocoholics Anonymous?
Because nobody wants to quit.
What does a good spice rack help you win? The Hunger Games.
What do they call Chris Christie in New Jersey? Cake Boss.
What did the pineapple say to the pineapple chunk? Stay golden.
What do you call it when 13 preschoolers have just had their juice?
A Daycare's Buzzin'.
What's a cow's favorite moosical note? Beef-flat
What are a submissive's favorite vegetables?
Collared greens.
What do bandages like to put on their salad?
A wound dressing.
What happens when no one comes to your birthday party?
You can have your cake and eat it too.
What’s the opposite of coffee?
Sneezy.
What does a caped monkey superhero drive?
A banana-mobile.
You have two cows, but only milk one. Your friend asks you…
"What about the udder one?"
What is a cheese lover’s favorite rap artist?
Feta wap.
What do bread kids say during hide-and-seek?
Bready or not, here I crumb!
Swallowing a cherry stone is not the end of the world. It’s just one of life’s little pitfalls.
Last night I dreamt I was swimming in a sea of oranges. I guess it was just a Fanta-sea!
Why is the corn army so dysfunctional?
Cause there are too many Kernels.
What did the ice-cream say to the unhappy birthday cake?
“What’s eating you?”
Oh no! My wine glass is empty. Somebody call Wine-One-One!
What do you call a group of nuts? A nut
What did the boss pig say to the pig worker for not working fast enough? “chop chop slow pork”.
What's the difference between a Yankee Stadium hot dog and a Fenway Park hot dog? You can buy a Yankee Stadium hot dog in October.
What do we call a beautiful picture drawn by a peach artist? – It is a great peach of work.
What do get when you cross a chili pepper, steam shovel, and a Chihuahua? A hot, diggety dog.
"I hate tacos!"
Said no Juan ever.
Why was the orange feeling sad?
It lost its zest for life.
What is an astronauts favorite chocolate? A marsbar!
What did the horny woman say about her coffee?
That coffee’s not the only thing that’s hot and wet this morning.
If fish is brain food, what do dumb people eat? Noodle soup.
What do you get when you put Cola in an oven?
Baking soda.
There are actually two types of apple: pine – apple and bad – apple.
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