“My bowl of soup must be cracked as it is all wet down here”. “Well, I guess it is because your soup has a leek in it.
What is Tom Hanks' favourite soft cheese? Philadelphia.
What kind of ice cream to electricians eat?
Shock a lot.
If you want day-old soup, then come back here tomorrow!
What did the two coffee lovers say on their wedding day? We were meant to bean together.
What is everyone getting for completing No Nut November?
“Nuttin”
The Bee Gees were such fans of onions that they even dedicated a song to it. They named it 'Chives Talking'.
What do you call a beautiful pumpkin?
Gourdgeous.
What a spud muffin.
I got some salt in my eye
Now it’s sea salt.
What do you find when you swallow peas whole?
Inner peas
What kind of candy is never on time? ChocoLATE
What do you do with epileptic lettuce? You make a seizure salad!
Once I got peas stuck in my ear. I had to make people re-pea-t themselves.
What do you call the greatest cheese to every live on the earth? Legen-dairy!
What's yellow and writes? A ball-point banana.
My son's has never really had much of an appetite.
But suddenly today he's eaten a dozen Kinder eggs whole.
He's full of surprises.
Why was the ketchup feeling bad?
Because it had the squirts.
What do you call someone who eats too many eggs?
An egg-oholic.
What happened to the men who lost their lettuce?
I don't know, but apparently they lost their heads.
Q: What made the green pea turn red?
A: It saw the salad dressing.
Which fruity singer was a judge on 'The X Factor'? Cherry Cole.
What kind of a key opens a banana? A monkey!
What do you call a very tall cherry blossom tree in Italy? The leaning flower of Pisa.
What did the cherry say to the cherry pie? I really crust you.
Why do you always bring a bag of chips to a party? In queso emergency.
I loved the soup that they served at the local restaurant yesterday. It was simply pho-nomenol.
Why do bananas wear suntan lotion? Because they peel!
Why should you make a cherry pie for someone that you miss? Because absence bakes the heart grow fonder.
He was showing off his new gaming gadget, "it has the latest peach recognition technology" he said.
"I need to re-wine my life."
Why did Mrs. Wine Grape run away from home?
She was tired of raisin a family.
My friend mashed up some cherries on halloween and said they were blood. I was cherry-fied!
Did you hear that they're trying to convict an orange?
It got wrapped up in appeal.
Tea pun-packed poem for my mum's birthday card
It’s been oolong time since my mum was born,
About Six-tea years to date,
Chai as you might, you can’t possible list,
her cupious amazing traits
Her balanced demeanour
Her Kindness and (earl) grace,
rooibost sense of humour,
too many to name in this teany space,
to pekoe out just a few does not do her justice,
let’s not stir things up and cause more of a ruckus,
While this ode may be (chamo)miles away from a Maya Angelou,
It’s just an obnoxious way to say how very matcha I love you.
What did the duck eat for lunch? Soup and Quackers.
Vegans really have a beef with meat.
What do you call a grilled cheese sandwich that's all up in your face? Too close for comfort food.
What did the Mexican wrestler say after he ate a taco that was too spicy?
“It’s okay, I’ll just guac it off”
Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing!
Q: What is a peach’s favorite book?
A: War and Peach
Why could I not imagine to have milk in the afternoon? Because it was beyond my wildest creams.
I had this disturbingly long dream that I was making a salad.
I was tossing all night.
hat’s the most sophisticated kind of bread?
The upper crust.
It’s too bad the man couldn’t quit his job at the bakery. He really kneaded the dough.
Which word can be used to describe a peach that is surprised, shocked, or angry with strong emotion? – Speachless!
What is the chemical formula of the molecules in sweets? Carbon-holmium-cobalt-lanthanum-tellurium or CHoCoLaTe
I had a salad pun, but I tossed it
What is a vegetable's favourite part of the song?
When the beet drops!
This might sound corny, but I think you’re a-maize-ing.
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