Why have a mer little when you can have a merlot?
What is the chemical formula of the molecules in sweets? Carbon-holmium-cobalt-lanthanum-tellurium or CHoCoLaTe
Dad fertilized the garden with corn starch.
The plot thickens.
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What do you call mountain climbing corn?
Mountain-ears.
Why did the cherry go to the good drinks factory? It was cordially invited.
How do you know when a cheese is full of himself?
Whatever you say, he’ll say he is feta.
Why should you make a cherry pie for someone that you miss? Because absence bakes the heart grow fonder.
Why did the birthday cake go to the doctor? Because it was feeling crumby!
If that’s the case, would it be wrong to say that the unfaithful watermelon had an illegitimate daughtermelon?
Why was the burger sad after losing the race? Because the hotdog was the weiner.
Somebody should market a beer called “Occasionally”.
So when asked, I can say, “I only drink occasionally”.
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What do you call a smart beer?
A Pilsnerd.
If you can't get Swine Flu from eating bacon what can you get? A1: Obesity A2: Heart Disease A3: Hardening of the Arteries.
How many peaches can you fit inside two cans? It depends how big the Toucans are and if they eat peaches.
"On cloud wine."
What do you do with epileptic lettuce? You make a seizure salad!
Why did the ice cream truck break down? Because of the Rocky Road.
What does a pizza say when it wants to cuddle?
Fold me close.
What do the peanuts and walnuts have in common? They are both nuts.
Why did the police arrest the milk after it was poured into a bowl of Fruit Loops? They witnessed him drown them. They knew he must be a cereal killer!
A lettuce farm was busted by the FDA on suspicion of combining plant and human DNA to create a new protein hybrid.
When they dug up the grounds the found human romaines.
When she asked me if I like soup, I replied saying "I am crazy pho soups".
Make no bones about it, home made stock is a really good base for soups.
Worried about overcooking your onion?
Don't sweat it.
What did the orange say before he started his new job?
“The zest is yet to come!”
Cherries are actually great at a lot of different sports. Their favorite one, in case you were wondering, is archerry.
Why didn’t the chef slice his cheese?
He had grater plans.
What do you call a pig that practices karate? A pork chop!”
I’m zesting a lemon for a recipe right now
It’s really appealing
Why does Mr. Potato Head have a mobile?
In case Mr. Onion rings.
Apples and oranges had a conversation one day. Guess what the apples were saying the oranges, nothing stupid, apples don’t talk.
What does a loaf of bread say when breaking up with his girlfriend?
You deserve butter.
Why did the farmer decide not to buy an extra phone? It was because he already had one for onion rings.
Why don't cows have any money? Because farmers milk them dry
Wholey-grain! You really bread my mind!
I met a girl in a vegetarian restaurant who said she recognized me, but I have literally never seen herbivore.
What do you call chick peas in a cavern?
Humus Sapiens
What do you call a potato at a football game? A spec-tater.
What's the difference between Hummus and Humus?
"mmmm"
What did Gorgonzola say to Cheddar? Lookin' Sharp.
How do you say “four avocados” in Spanish?
Um, avo-cuatro?
What do you call a cow that doesn’t produce any milk? A milk dud!
How do you catch an elephant?
Act like a peanut.
How do you know when a potato is in a bad mood? When they are acting salty
The strawberry was very good at racing because he was always juiced up before a race.
My girlfriend said we aren't getting married until she has a pear shape
It's the reason we cantaloupe
How does the Skywalker family like their tea?
Lukewarm.
Which book will be preferred by a man who sells milk? Cream and Punishment.
Why was the chef surprised that anyone like her bread?
She thought it was crumby.
Subway - Lettuce know how we did.
What is a cheese lover’s favorite rap artist?
Feta wap.
Where do astronauts buy their milk? From the milky way!!!
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