If mom leaves her alphabet soup on the stove and forgets about it, it would spell disaster.
What kind of beer can you make from a potato?
Spud Light.
The price of candy at the movie theater is quite ridiculous. They're always raisinet!
What is the only thing that can cure a sick do-nut?
An antidought!
So, what do you do with an epileptic watermelon? Simple, you make a seizure salad.
You can only know the heart of a pineapple with a knife.
I was souper excited to hear some soup puns for the comic chef - but his performance did not excite miso much.
Why did the banana go out with a lemon?
Because it couldn't find a date!
What do you call cheese that is sad? Blue cheese.
What do you get when you cross a smurf and a cow?
Blue cheese.
What did the orange say to the lemon?
"'yello!"
The unluckiest berry in the group is the one that drew the short straw-berry.
What did the artichoke say to the man eating a salad? Have a heart.
Why did the orange’s musical number receive a bad review?
Because it wasn’t an “orange-inal.”
Which religious figure does dairy products worship? Cheese-us!
What did one cheddar cheese say to the other cheddar cheese at prom?
Looking sharp!
When she spotted fake ramen in her soup, she said, “ This soup has impasta in it.”
I can't use my laptop anymore because someone spilled apple juice on it.
It was a cider attack.
What did four of the last five presidents drink? Left-Tea.
What do you call it when vegetables have siblings?
Pumpkin.
I had a goat’s cheese pizza the other day.
He wasn’t happy.
Pigs, when out in public, have to keep an eye on their valuables as they are vulnerable to pigpockets.
I just caught a walking pear tree...
In my Pear Ent trap.
The reason he went smiling all the way to the jail is because the judge sentenced him to a life behind chocolate bars.
What beer does everyone at the orphanage drink?
Foster's.
My pet cow thinks she produces almond milk. She must be nuts.
The chickpea wrote a book, but he didn't release it until after his death. He wanted to do it post-hummusly.
What do you call a punctual citrus fruit?
A Clockwork Orange.
What did the newspaper say to the ice cream? What's the scoop
A scarecrow's favorite fruit to eat is straw-berry.
I got some salt in my eye
Now it’s sea salt.
What did baby corn say to Mama corn?
Where's Popcorn?
What did the cornfield say when it heard rain coming?
That’s music to my ears!
Vampires love cookies too, they love No-stake cookies.
What does an ice cream lawyer say?
You got served.
What's the most popular American cheese sitcom? Curd Your Enthusiasm
What happened to the criminal magician who ate to much salt?
Cardiac arrest.
What do you call a pastry that is a priest? A Holy Donut!
I've started a Taco Bell themed John Coltrane cover band.x
We're called Crunchwrap Supremex
What do you call yogurt that is terrified of other dairy products? A cow-ard!
What did bacon say to tomato? Lettuce get together.
When the bread started crying because it was toast, the loaf told him, "You deserve butter."
What happened when the beer got divorced?
It became bitter.
Did you hear about the man who used to be addicted to eating raw meat? Don't worry, he's cured now!
What does a caped monkey superhero drive?
A banana-mobile.
What do you get when you cross Ice, chocolate, a big strawberry, a giant pineapple, and cold milk? The worlds best Sundae!
What did the insulted orange say to the kiwi? Ex-squeeze-me?
Why did the coffee bean keep checking his watch? Because he was pressed for time.
What's a coffee's favorite spell? Espresso Patronum.
The cookie monster couldn’t make his bed, why? Because he couldn’t find his cookie sheets.
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