What type of wine is notorious for making you drowsy?
Sauvign-yawn blanc!
Why did the egg go to school?
To get egg-ucated.
What were the cheese’s wedding vows?
To havarti and to hold.
What do you give to a sick lemon?
lemonaid.
Why are popsicles so snobby?
They have a stick up their butt.
What's the most musical cut of chicken? The drumstick!
What's a barista's favorite morning mantra? Rise and grind.
Why was the burger sad? Because he had the blue cheese.
Milk aliens have landed. They said 'take me to your litre'.
What would happen if pigs could fly? The price of bacon would go skyrocket.
Why did the orange go to the doctor?
“It wasn’t peeling well.”
Why are lemons safer than limes?
There’s no such thing as lemon’s disease.
Why are some cake jokes not as good as the others?
They tend to grow mold.
There’s muffin I wouldn’t do for breakfast.
My brother gave me whole milk, but I can only have nut milk with my cereal. How dairy!
What vegetable did King Arthur pull from the stone?
Exparagus.
Did you hear about the man who used to be addicted to eating raw meat? Don't worry, he's cured now!
What do you call a beautiful pumpkin?
Gourdgeous.
Sheep have a clever way of keeping all their four feet warm in the winter; they wear muttons.
The national news did a story on my friend's bumper crop of green citrus fruits.
He loves being in the limelight.
Why are tomatoes the slowest vegetable?
Because they can’t ketchup.
What do you call a pickle lullaby?
A cucumber slumber number.
When soup feels strained and stressed, where would it go? – A broth-el!
What drink do goalies hate? Penal-tea.
Wine puns. They're always in pour taste.
Picking strawberries can be a very fruitful endeavor!
What kind of birthday cake do they serve in heaven?
Angel food cake.
What did one avocado half say to the other?
Without you, I’m empty inside!
What's green and got two wheels?
A motorpickle.
I slept with a lemon once. Now I have lemonaids.
Inviting cherries over for a drinks party is easy. Simply start your invitation with “You are cordially invited…”
What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Anyone can roast beef.
What do you call a cute donut?
A-dough-able.
How do you spell banana? E, V, I, L. Do banana's drink coke or pepsi? Neither, they drink blood because they're evil.
I must confess that I've started stealing vegetables from the local grocery...
I can't help it! I get to the store and I have to take a leek!
What do you call a Boston creme donut that’s a straight-A student?
The creme of the crop.
People who use sleeping bags in the woods are soft tacos for bears.
What do you call a chicken with a piece of lettuce in its eye? Chicken Caesar Salad
What happens when you go on an all-cheese diet?
You cheddar few pounds.
Nobody wants to sit next to the watermelon in the class because it has a strange smelon.
What should you do with an old inventory of fine French wine?
Liquidate it to the highest bidder.
Potato puns are a-peeling.
When you accidentally step on a cheerio, you become a cereal killer.
The worst type of criminal is he who mugs other people's coffee.
"Sip, sip hooray."
What’s a good way to start a conversation with a cheese plate on Tinder?
“Hello. Is it brie you’re looking for?”
My car smelled like bacon when I got home.
My porking brake was on.
"Wine a little, laugh a lot."
Oh no! My wine glass is empty. Somebody call Wine-One-One!
What do bread kids say during hide-and-seek?
Bready or not, here I crumb!
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