Why do ice cream cones make such good journalists?
They always get a scoop.
Do you know how the pineapple feeds her children? She gives them milk from her pinenipples!
What is the opposite of Chocolate? Chocoearly.
Did you hear about the crime family that took over the wine importing business?
They call themselves the Sip-ranos!
Why do potatoes make good detectives? Because they keep their eyes peeled.
If we cross lobster bisque and Elon Musk, what we have is a soup-er car
People really liked the new king's coronation day peach. He truly deserves the throne.
The police officer only had soups for dinner. He was a soup-erintendent.
Why was the well done steak a terrible gossip? It wasn't juicy enough!
Q: What do you call an angry pea?
A: Grum-pea!
How many grams of protein are there in that slice of chocolate pie? 3.14159265.
"I make pour decisions."
Two hot dogs were having a race. One overtook the other, who called out “I see you’ve mustard the strength to ketchup with me!”
What does a cheese say when you ask him to share a secret?
He cantal.
What did four of the last five presidents drink? Left-Tea.
What did the peanut say to the cashew after their argument?
Imma cashew outside!
How did the cheese get such curly hair?
It got a permasan.
What does a real cheese freak say when they come to your door?
“I’d like to talk to you about Cheesus.”
Knock knock!
Who’s there? Doughnut. Doughnut Who? Doughnut forget to close the door!
I recently went to a soft fruit party, where all the food was berry based. It was cherrific.
Did you hear about the policeman who tried to make love to a bacon slicer?
He had a tip off.
What did the mama nut say to her son?
“If I ever cashew doing that, I walnut be happy.”
How do you get a Minecraft themed party started? Let them eat cake.
What is a corn's favorite song?
Corn fields forever.
This year for Valentine's day I got my wife the ace of hearts and packets of corn flour, rice flour and self raising flour
She wasn't happy. Apparently it wasn't what she meant when she said she just wanted a card and flowers.
"On cloud wine."
I eat a ton of corn everyday.
I guess that makes me a cornivore.
I had lunch once with a chess player at a restaurant with checked tablecloths. It took him 3 hours to pass me the salt.
Why does Satan not eat the bread part of the pizza?
Because he's the Anti-Crust!
Why do watermelons have fancy weddings? Because they cantaloupe.
Why did the orange go to the doctor?
“It wasn’t peeling well.”
What's green and wears a cape?
Super Pickle.
What did mamma orange say to little orange after he spilled his milk? It’s no big peel!
Q: What anime series do fruits like to watch?
A: One peach.
Nowadays oranges have decided to go out with prune. The reason is that it is becoming so hard to find a date.
Why did the giant use clouds to make pancakes? To make them light and fluffy.
Why did the vegetable thief wet his pants?
Because he took a leek!
I'm on a seafood diet. Every time I see food, I eat it.
Why don’t these children eat their soup? Because all of them is stew-pid.
What does an onion say when you are upset because of it one day? It says, "I am sorry that I made you cry!"
Why does Elton John HATE lettuce?
Becuase he's a ROCKET MAN...
The big play is in seven days, you better work on your peach enhancement techniques.
What vegetable is kind of cool?
The Radish.
What did the egg do when it saw the frying pan?
It scrambled.
When the little boy was baking a cake why did it run away? Because it said crack 2 eggs then beat it!
Q: What kind of decisions do peaches make?
A: Fruitful ones.
My best friend said we're like two peas in a pod. I'm confused, there's only one P in pod.
Know what kind of cookies rich people love? Fortune cookies.
What are the longest lasting relationships in the fruit world? Orange-d marriages.
What do you get when you dip a kitten in chocolate?
A Kitty Kat bar.
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