What do horses like to put on their egg salad sandwiches?
MayoNAYS!
How should you live your life? By seasoning the moment.
I had one nutty nightmare last night, it gave me a kola sweat.
Me: I think I'll take a dip in the pool.
Lifeguard: What ya got there?
Me: Hummus.
If there was a material made of milk which could store electricity...
...it would be called buttery.
Which nut is the best at playing tag?
Catch-yous aka cashews.
Why does bread hate hot weather?
It just feels too toasty.
While leaving, the peach friend told his sad buddy, "If you need any help, just peach out, I will be there."
You may want to seek help if you feel despresso when you don't have coffee.
What is the name of the horse that a knight onion rides? They ride a scallion.
What did the cow say to his friend when they met twice in the same day? “What a cow-incidence!”
Cashier: Sir, would you like me to put your milk in a bag?
Dad: I would much rather keep it in the carton!
What do you say to an avocado who’s done a good job?
“Bravocado!”
What do you call an apple that's been around the world? Johnny Appleseed.
What do get when you cross a chili pepper, steam shovel, and a Chihuahua? A hot, diggety dog.
What do you call the king of vegetables? Elvis Parsley.
Nowadays oranges have decided to go out with prune. The reason is that it is becoming so hard to find a date.
What happens when an onion burps at the most awkward time? It releases tear gas.
The veggie lover was a total stalk-er.
Be careful! Theres a deadly fruit on the loose
He has 7 charges of armed Strawbbery.
What do you call chick peas in a cavern?
Humus Sapiens
I have pea soup for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. That’s why I pea soup all night!
I always get pickle and chutney mixed up.
It makes me chuckle.
How do you get a Minecraft themed party started? Let them eat cake.
What's the difference between a pickle and a psychiatrist?
If you don't know, you ought to stop talking to your pickle!
What is a lions favourite cheese? Roar-quefort.
What do you call a pear with loose morals?
A prostifruit.
What happened when the butcher backed up into the meat grinder? He got a little behind in his work!
Strawberries are berry healthy. They pack a punch when it comes to beating cancer and other diseases.
Why are hot dogs angry? Because they are always getting roasted.
Which type of wine only comes in a box?
Carbordeaux.
Why did the Jack-O-Lantern go to the pumpkin patch?
Because he had holes in him.
What sport are eggs best at?
Running.
The bag of flour was so confused.He thought that he saw his friend the loaf yeast-erday.
I'd tell you about a girl that eats nothing but vegetables,
but I'm sure you've herbivore.
What do you call an oriental cheese? Parm-asian
Where do bananas go to learn to be sweet?
Sundae School.
In the history class, the onion teachers taught the student onions that during the vegetable cold war, the Soviet Onion was a superpower.
What do you do when you try to bake a cherry pie for the first time and it doesn't turn out so well? Just wait for the second bite of the cherry.
Why was the white wine's off-beat pun so boo-ed?
Because it was too corky.
At a restaurant, the peach said, "Hey, I would like a peach of cake for dessert, thank you!"
I felt like telling you the joke about a strawberry jam on a piece of bread, but I won't. You might go around spreading it.
The walnut got in trouble for pecan through the window.
A Blueberry asked a strawberry to go to hell.
That was berry rude of him
Did you hear about the frozen dessert whose wife had a baby?
Now he’s a popsicle.
What do you get when you cross an orange with a parrot? A carrot.
Why did the pumpkin cross the road? It fell off the wagon!
What’s the most disgusting type of nut?
The cash-ew.
Who named their daughter Macadamia?
A couple of nuts.
I sent back the soup served to me at the restaurant. It was not of soup-reme quality.
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