The hotdog severely fell behind in school which is why he has to ketchup.
Happy Birthday to my best spud….get it? ? Spud…bud? ?
What do you call 2 fruits that can't get married?
Cantelopes.
Do librarians like white wine?
No, they like theirs well red!
Like a pro wrestler in a headlock, I’m indulging in a little Sham pain.
What do fruit bowls say when they dress up as a ghost on Halloween? Be cherry afraid!
Wine Connoisser Point to Ponder: Did Marilyn drink Merlot?
My friend Jack claims that he can communicate with vegetables.
Jack and the beans talk.
I had lunch once with a chess player at a restaurant with checked tablecloths. It took him 3 hours to pass me the salt.
Why does the yogi meditate under the citrus tree?
Because it’s a sub-lime spot.
Did you hear about the cow that committed murder? It was in cow-ld blood! How dairy.
Why was the guy looking for fast food on his friend? Because his friend said dinner is on me.
What do sophisticated fish drink? Salt-Tea.
What did the orange say when a knife pierced it’s peel? Flesh wound.
You have two cows, but only milk one. Your friend asks you…
"What about the udder one?"
What do you call a hot dog with nothing inside it? A “hollow-weenie!”
just bought 5 slabs of San miguel, 10 sombreros and 25 tacos,
I'm Hispanic buying
Why do bananas have to wear sunscreen?
Because they peel.
How does bread win over friends?
“You can crust me.”
When a man went to the doctor to get rid of the strawberry that was growing out of his head, the doctor told him, "Don't worry. I'll give you some cream for that".
My mother says: “Leave that peach cobbler alone on the table!” However, I cannot help myself and sneak in to watch it making beautiful peach shoes.
Why will you never meet an ice cream workaholic?
They know how to chill out.
How did Burger King get Dairy Queen Pregnant? He forgot to wrap his whopper!
She'll take whatever beans necessary to get her daily cup of coffee. Whatever. Beans. Necessary.
The orange was really sad at the event because it had no peelings whatsoever for the desperate prune.
What do they call Chris Christie in New Jersey? Cake Boss.
Why did the egg go to school?
To get egg-ucated.
Why is the baby strawberry crying?
Because its parents are jamming
Q: What happens to a cherry tree when it grows up?
A: It blossoms
What do you call a very tall cherry blossom tree in Italy? The leaning flower of Pisa.
The young woman decided to become a professional baker. She realized that it could help her earn her bread and butter.
What happens when you go on an all-cheese diet?
You cheddar few pounds.
When the mama peach found out that his child had failed his class, she was s-peach-less.
What do you call a sloppy Joe made with taco seasoned beef?
Sloppy José
Say this aloud: Eye Yam Stew Peed
What’s the healthiest part of a donut?
The middle.
I like fried chickpeas, but I shouldn't eat them. Every time I do I falafel.
Why did the fruit run for president? He wanted world peach.
What kind of wine is aged to purr-fection?
Mos-cat-o!
What do you call a chicken with a piece of lettuce in its eye? CHICKEN CAESER SALAD.
Why did the fruit bat eat the orange?
“Because it had appeal.”
What do squirrels eat at the fair?
A-corn dog.
What kind of cheese do rodents like? Mousearella.
I asked the Korean grocer for something to spice up my meals, but I think I got a raw dill.
Is tea with additional salt
Salt-tea?
Why did the cherry go to the good drinks factory? It was cordially invited.
My friend is always trying to make cows nervous. She's a fan of milkshakes.
What was the event of the onion family getting back together called as? A family reonion.
Q: What anime series do fruits like to watch?
A: One peach.
Remind your kids not to overdo it on the pumpkin pie this time of year.
Or they might get autumn'y ache.
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