What is a cow's favorite deli meat? Bull-ogna!
What do we call the period in between eating a peach? – It is called a pit stop.
What did the kid nut say to the other when playing tag? “I’m going to cashew”.
There’s a hair in my wine. The grapes must have been fur-mented.
When you see something red that goes up and down, chances are it is a strawberry in an elevator.
What do you call a communist onion? You call it a red onion.
What is the angriest nut?
Pissed-aschios
I had a salad pun, but I tossed it
The big play is in seven days, you better work on your peach enhancement techniques.
What happened to the football team that practiced in a corn field?
They got creamed!
The bowl of soup you bought yesterday from the Chinese restaurant was souper terrible.
On Mother's Day we went strawberry picking and made a jam from the fruits of our labor.
"Giving you more reasons to wine."
Wholey-grain! You really bread my mind!
Cherry pie can be a bit aggressive. Rumor has it they go around saying, “Hey! You want a piece of me?”
How did the coconut hit on the pineapple? It said ” you are the pina to my colada.”
What kind of nuts come in cans?
Creamed a-corn.
Did you hear about the guy who overdosed on curry powder? He went into a korma.
Why did the hummus blush?
Because it saw a chickpea!
Why does Mr. Potato Head have a mobile?
In case Mr. Onion rings.
Some types of meat like to play around a lot. These are generally the game types.
Lemonade and iced tea make an Arnold Palmer. What do you get when you Mix Lemonade with a tea bag?
Benedict Arnold Palmer
My doctor told me to cut down on red meat.
So, could you brown it up a bit?
Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? SpongeBob SquarePants!
What is a potato’s life philosophy? I think, therefore I yam.
My wife won't let me become a bean farmer. Why won't she just let me work in peas!
What do you call a pickle that got run over on the road?
Road dill.
If you put a strawberry in the freezer, you can make a strawberry shake!
What beer does everyone at the orphanage drink?
Foster's.
How does a pineapple answer the phone? “Yel-low?”
What do you call a male orange?
Mangerine!
What did the fruit bowl say when it saw Santa Claus come down the chimney? We wish you a cherry Christmas!
Why did the man put the cake in the freezer?
Because his wife told him to ice it!
What did the Cheese salesman say? That cheese may be Gouda, but this one is Feta!
How does a robot eat it’s guacamole?
Microchips.
My wife doesn't like spicy food and I think it's a cayenne shame.
How many atoms are in guacamole?
Avocados number.
What happened to the pineapple who was turned down for a date? Crushed pineapple.
The least favorite day for an orange is a juice day.
Why did the banana go out with the prune? Because he couldn't find a date.
What did the ice cream cone write on his valentine card?
You make me melt.
What does a man consider a seven-course meal? A hot dog and a six pack of beer.
Mum, you are my soup-er star.
I tried telling a joke while drinking my juice for breakfast, but nobody got my punch line.
What can you only drink in the Middle East? Dust-Tea.
What do chocolate, men, and coffee have in common?
They’re only good if they’re rich!
I was throwing oranges at tropical birds. One of them caught one then said: “Toucan play that game”
Why did the hipster burn his lips?
He ate his pizza before it was cool.
If fish is a type of brain food, then dumb people probably love eating noodle soup.
I am really broth-taking when I see the signer vomiting soup.
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