I miss you! I’ll see you tater!
What do fruits look for at a talent show? A berry that can really cherry a tune.
In the middle of the night yesterday, I dreamt that I was swimming in a sea of oranges only to wake up and realize that it was just a Fanta-sea.
What do you call a frozen frankfurter? A Chili dog.
What vegetable is not allowed on ships? Leeks.
What do you drink with the Queen of England? Royal-Tea.
What did the ice-cream say to the unhappy birthday cake? "What's eating you?"
Why did the blonde buy a brown cow? To get chocolate milk.
Sometimes a pea starts acting like a diva. We call them a pea-Madonna.
My bag of fruit snacks had all grapes
Today’s gonna be a grape day!
What did the pear say to the other pear when they just got together?
It’s good to be a pair.
What would a potato say to a peach? – “You have a nice pit!”
What is a cannibal's favourite cheese? Limburger
I have no problem getting dates online. I’ve also had luck with almonds, cashews, and walnuts.
Where do they make all the decisions on a dairy farm? At the city cow-ncil.
If you want day-old soup, then come back here tomorrow!
What did the commedian say after after a bad set?
That crowd was laughtose intolerant.
What’s the healthiest part of a donut?
The middle.
What did the ice-cream say to the unhappy birthday cake?
“What’s eating you?”
That wide loaf has a decent bread-th. Nice.
An immature pineapple is often worse than a mature currant.
The chocolate couple decided to rent a two bedroom sweet for their summer honeymoon.
Why didn’t the mother potato want her daughter to marry the famous newscaster? Because he was a common-tater.
What did Yoda say when he turned a patron away for ordering a pie?
“Dough. Or doughnut. There is no pie.”
What can you make with 6.02 x 10^23 avocados?
Guaca-mole.
What kind of candy is never on time? ChocoLATE
The unluckiest berry in the group is the one that drew the short straw-berry.
My friend was totally addicted to the cold meat section in our local supermarket. It got so bad, they had to quit cold turkey.
Potatoes that are medi-tators maintain calm and peace even when uprooted.
My friend mashed up some cherries on halloween and said they were blood. I was cherry-fied!
Why do comedians often start their act with peanut butter jokes? They love to warm up the crown by spreading the laughter.
Why do potatoes make good detectives? Because they keep their eyes peeled.
When does a hot dog have a close shave? At the barber-cue!
Why don't bananas snore?
Because they don't want to wake up the rest of the bunch.
Why did the man keep punching his doughy friend?
To get a rise out of him!
My local restaurant recently lost out on an entire order of the best local beef. No one has herd what happened to it.
If that’s the case, would it be wrong to say that the unfaithful watermelon had an illegitimate daughtermelon?
What’s a potato’s favorite TV program? Starch Trek.
A scarecrow's favorite fruit to eat is straw-berry.
The IT peach-guy is an expert in the field of peach synthesis.
Everything in this world is either a potato or not a potato
Recently in a meeting at the greengrocer I work at, I asked my manager how he was doing. "Just peachy", he replied.
What does a meditating egg say?
Ohmmmmmmmlet.
What kind of candy never arrives on time? Chocolate
What did one cheese tell the other cheese on Valentine’s day?
Brie mine.
My wife said I only eat white tasteless vegetables...
Well, not neciCelery.
What do we get when we cross a Christmas tree with an apple? We will have a pine – apple!
A restaurant server was fired on his first day of work for taking a woman’s salad.
He thought the manager said “seize her salad”.
We are thinking of spending the night at the peach house, by the shore.
Where do you go to learn how to make ice cream?
Sundae school.
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