It's Taco Night, so on my way home, I grabbed a bag of shredded cheese at the store, queso we needed some more.
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What do you call a cherry that is hard as nails? Tough as old fruits.
What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Anyone can roast beef.
What happens when no one comes to your birthday party? You can have your cake and eat it too.
Bad vegetable puns are dreadful.
It’s a truly rotten experience.
Why did the baker keep putting too much flour in the bread? Because he was a gluten for punishment.
Hap-pea-ness is when you and your friend are like two peas in a pod.
What happened when the onion tried to cross the bridge guarded by Gandalf? Gandalf shouted, "You shallot pass this bridge!"
A young slice of bread came up to his crush. He told her that he was really falling in loaf with her.
Q: What do you call two peas in a pod?
A: Peepee.
What happens after you eat an entire gallon of "All Natural" ice cream? You get Breyer's remorse!
Why do kids love to clean out the cookie jar for Halloween? To make room for Halloween candy.
A sad peach can be really pit-iful, sometimes.
Why are you eating a banana with the skin on? Oh, it's all right. I know what's inside.
What did the coffee say about its late assignment? Better latte than never.
Did you hear about the bread party? It’s scone be a lot of fun, and wheat love for you to join us.
What do you drink before you audition for "The Voice" ? Tea-Lo Green
Dad, do you like baked apples? Yes son, why? The orchard's on fire.
A motivated nut is a pecan. Because pe-can do anything.
My grandmother was famous all over town for growing delicious strawberries.
She made me promise that when she died, I would plant her strawberries on her grave so that people could enjoy them when they visited. When she passed away I fulfilled my promise. She’s dead and berried.
"Back that glass up."
What was the donut’s least favorite part of its day?
I’m not really sure; it glazed over that part.
Did you hear about the little grape who didn’t want to be made into wine?
Unfortunately, he was pressed into service!
What do you call a pickle you got at a cheap price?
A sweet dill.
What is suns favourite chocolate bar?
A milky way
What happens to Germans when they eat too many lemons?
They become sour krauts.
Went to the doctor because I got a strawberry stuck in my ear
He gave me some cream for it
Why do pigs go to New York City? To see the Big Apple.
I saw a strawberry with a gun, robbing a man. I am guessing he was in a jam.
What hotel do cheese lover’s stay in?
The Stilton.
What should you do with an old inventory of fine French wine?
Liquidate it to the highest bidder.
I found a sour strawberry today. It was berry bad.
Why did the pirate have a pumpkin strapped to his arm?
He was a squash-buckler.
They were building a meat tower next door.
The steaks just kept getting higher.
Why do wine lovers guzzle down vine humor?
Because wine jokes are a barrel of laughs.
I saw an egg behaving oddly today.
It was probably just a bit egg-centric.
Why does everyone want ice cream to be on their team?
Because with them, anything is popsicle.
Things don’t always pine out the way we want them to, but we can-nut give up!
I walked into the kitchen and saw my wife chopping onions which made me cry
Onions was a good dog
Remember to stop and smell the rosé.
What's green and pecks on trees?
Woody Wood Pickle.
How do you milk sheep ?
Release another iPhone.
Got the drive-thru girl at Taco Bell..
I pulled up and she said, "what can I get you?" And I replied, "I'll just have a moment for now."
Soft fruits make really supportive parents. Whenever their youngsters fail at something, they just smile and say “Have another bite at the cherry.”
Who is the best kung fu vegetable?
Brocc lee.
When Berry the dog dug up the woman's strawberry patch, she angrily exclaimed "That is the final straw, Berry."
What do potatoes become when they smoke weed?
Baked potatoes.
My doctor told me to cut down on red meat.
So, could you brown it up a bit?
You spilled your entire cup of coffee? What's sumatra with you?
The plural of mango should be changed to mengo
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