"Say you'll be wine."
Why were the kids throwing flour and bread at their school? They wanted to rise to the occasion.
Tennis matches and strawberry jam have one thing in common. Cons-serve.
Why don't anarchists drink green tea?
Because it helps fight free radicals.
What did one bread lover say to the other?
Before I break down and rye, I want you to know that I loaf you.
What vegetable isnt allowed on cruise ships?
Leeks.
The kindergarten kids were taught the alphabet and peach sounds at school.
What do you say to a small onion that has helped you?
Thanks shallot.
"No wine left behind."
I used to randomly steal beverages off people...
I stopped when I realized it wasn't my cup of tea
My son ate daffodil bulbs instead of onions
But that's really serious! Is he in hospital?
Yes, he's still a bit yellow, but he should be coming out in the spring.
A person who only loves himself and waffles in the entire world is an Eggomaniac.
Wine puns. They're always in pour taste.
To catch a polar bear you surround a hole in the ice with peas
Then, when he goes to take a pea you kick him in the ice hole.
I just watched someone try to steal a pumpkin from a bull.
He got gourd.
I love having dinner in a local restaurant. It has a soup-erb speciality that mixes soup and herbs.
Where do you go to learn how to make ice cream?
Sundae school.
Which sports team do wine lovers always root for?
The Reds!
I stopped eating pea soup. I gave it up for lentil.
When you come across a strawberry that uses foul language, it must be berry rude.
Lately my wife has been looking at me as if I'm a piece of meat....
And it wouldn't bother me, if she wasn't a vegan.
I found a sour strawberry today. It was berry bad.
My decision to become a Hindu was a missed steak
What did the tortilla chip say to the guacamole?
“You are all I avo wanted.”
What do you call super expensive shoes?
Cashews.
If you want day-old soup, then come back here tomorrow!
What type of relationships do hotdogs like to have? A frank relationship, they can’t stand lies.
Where’s a donut’s favorite vacation spot?
The Sahara dessert!
What's worst than a monkey eating bananas? A monkey going bananas.
What nut is always begging for attention?
Pssst-tachios.
Why did the lemon fail its driving test?
Because it kept peeling out
How do you know that beer makes you smarter?
Because it made bud wiser.
"I'd like to make a toast!", said the bread to the bride on her wedding day.
Why should you bake bacon on an asteroid on its way to Earth ?
It's meteor.
What did the pineapple say to the pineapple chunk? Stay golden.
Q: What would a peach love to pet?
A: A Pit Bull.
What did the oranges do after concluding the meeting?
They peeled the deal.
What do you call an avocado after a priest blesses it?
Holy guacamole.
Did you hear about the man who used to be addicted to eating raw meat? Don't worry, he's cured now!
I fed my wife some ground chick peas and she choked to death
The police are treating it as a hummuside.
What’s a good way to start a conversation with a cheese plate on Tinder?
“Hello. Is it brie you’re looking for?”
You might be startled to see a hamburger working out in your local gym. Don’t worry, they’re just there because they want better buns.
What do you give a dog with a fever?… Mustard, it’s the best thing for a hot dog.
Eating no meat except fish is really bothersome.
I should stop being a Pesky-tarian.
The baby strawberries were berry upset when they heard that both their parents were in the jam.
What do dogs like to drink? Kit-Tea.
The orange juice industry is not doing very well.
Tomorrow they will give a special press release.
What do you call a hot dog with nothing inside it? A “hollow-weenie!”
What happened when the butcher backed up into the meat grinder? He got a little behind in his work!
What do you call a fruity pop star? Katy Peary.
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