Police arrested a man who dropped his phone in the ocean. The was charged with a salt in battery.
You can fix a broken strawberry with a strawberry patch.
What is a cannibal’s favorite cheese?
Limb-burger.
What kind of fish is only made of salt.
A tu-na.
When I was learning how to cook soups, my mum asked me to follow my instinct. She asked me to go with the pho.
Did you hear about the frozen dessert whose wife had a baby?
Now he’s a popsicle.
Why do oranges wear suntan lotion? They peel in the sun.
What did the farmer yell out when ducks invaded his dairy farm? Cheese and crackers!
What type of a computer does a horse like to eat? A Macintosh
A sad peach can be really pit-iful, sometimes.
I met a girl in a vegetarian restaurant who said she recognized me, but I have literally never seen herbivore.
Do you know which the most favourite type of fruit of trees is? The pine – apple.
The nectarine academic is doing a Ph.D. in 'Peach and Language Psychology' from the University of Georgia.
I must confess that I've started stealing vegetables from the local grocery...
I can't help it! I get to the store and I have to take a leek!
Strawberries are berry healthy. They pack a punch when it comes to beating cancer and other diseases.
I mashed a few mangoes, pineapples, melons, strawberries, and grapes into a 🍲. Served the mash to guests visiting my place.
Called the dish, Mea Pulpa.
Cows don’t make very good cops. They refuse to go on steak outs.
How does an ice cream cone congratulate you on the anniversary of your birth?
It’s sherbert day!
What do you call a cold little taco?
A brrr-ito.
The problem with collecting wine is that you always end up getting screwed.
What would you call a steak that leaped off the table and ran away? Fast food, of course.
My peach friend shaved for the first time the other day, he looks like a nectarine!
Ladies, if he can't appreciate your fruit jokes, you need to let that mango.
What did the hummus say to the pita bread when he got sick?
I falafel.
What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Taking a bite and finding half a worm.
What do you call a cake that likes heavy metal? Megadeth by Chocolate.
When I went to the shop to buy some strawberries, they didn't have any. It was such a fruitless trip.
The United Nations gave its members a basket of peaches on 21 September - the International Peach Day.
What do you call a group of cows that are on top of a hill? High steaks.
What's an egg's favorite movie?
Over Easy Rider.
What has 100 teeth and eats wieners? A zipper!
Dad, do you like baked apples? Yes son, why? The orchard's on fire.
Did you hear about the little grape who didn’t want to be made into wine?
Unfortunately, he was pressed into service!
The nut stayed c-almond and collected during the earthquake.
Nobody would ask the strawberry to go to the prom because it was past her sale by date.
Hot dog, I love a good meat pun.
What cheese should you use to hide a horse? Mascarpone.
What is the easiest way to make a banana split? Cut it in half.
I saw an egg behaving oddly today.
It was probably just a bit egg-centric.
What happens to a cherry tree when it grows up? It blossoms.
“How are you? ” “Well, I yam fried”
Why didn't the butcher cross the road? He didn't want to brisket!
What’s the best view you can get in our galaxy? A view of the milky way from mars.
If you are wondering about the most important constitutional right of a peach citizen, well, it's none other than freedom of peach.
Even though Jake was a heartthrob Casanova, he just had to break up with his long-time watermelon vending girlfriend; said she was always melondramatic about everything.
Pigs, when out in public, have to keep an eye on their valuables as they are vulnerable to pigpockets.
Why did the aging bread roll retire?
Her career was already toast.
Where's the best place to get information about eggs?
The hen-cyclopedia.
What does it do before it rains candy? It sprinkles! What do you call dancing chocolate bar? Nestle Crunk bar.
Forget about watermelons, I heard having a windmelon your property is the best way to get clean and renewable electricity.
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