How do playful monkeys go down the stairs?
They slide down the banana-ster!
What did the newspaper say to the ice cream? What's the scoop
What do you call a piece of cheese that likes to shoot hoops? Swiss!
What do athletes drink before games? Sport-Tea.
It's Taco Night, so on my way home, I grabbed a bag of shredded cheese at the store, queso we needed some more.
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What does it do before it rains candy? It sprinkles! What do you call dancing chocolate bar? Nestle Crunk bar.
What is the national fruit of Afghanistan?
Talibanana.
Why did the cow and the bull become so close? Because they became beef-friends.
What do you call a pastry that is a priest? A Holy Donut!
A scarecrow's favorite fruit to eat is straw-berry.
What's yellow and writes? A ball-point banana.
Do you know what the favourite soup of a ghost is? It is the Scream of Broccoli.
Did you hear the joke about the donut? Probably not, it was crummy!
Sometimes, all you need is to shake a few trees to find the perfect peach for you.
Unlike peaches, nectarines don't have any fuzz, because they suffer from Alo-peach-ea.
What do you call a pear in a compressor?
Pear pressure!
Why did the man keep punching his doughy friend?
To get a rise out of him!
I went to an English camping party with some vegetables. We stayed in a tea-pea.
What do you call a cold little taco?
A brrr-ito.
What did the hot dog bun say to the hot dog? Stop touching my buns! What do you call a hot dog with nothing inside it? A "hollow-weenie!"
Dog Joke: What do you call a Collie with a mango on it's back?
Mango Lassie.
Onions are unable to store water inside them because there is always a leek.
What do they serve at birthday parties in heaven? Angel food cake, of course!
Why don’t most people enjoy jokes about taco shells?
They’re too corny
Three tomatoes are walkin' down the street.
Papa Tomato, Mama Tomato and Baby Tomato.
Baby Tomato starts lagging behind, and Papa Tomato gets really angry.
Goes back and squishes him and says: "Ketchup."
This special peach school is for those Peach kids who are suffering from peach and hearing impairment.
What do all the onions decide to do over unfair wages? They decide to form a labor onion.
What do you call a potato that’s reluctant to jump into boiling water? A hesi-tater.
How many atoms are in guacamole?
Avocados number.
This year I'm carving my pumpkin to look like an intricate ball of rope, so it can be a gourd-ian knot.
Why is a pineapple so attractive? Because it keeps its juices flowing.
What's a coffee's favorite spell? Espresso Patronum.
What is the chemical formula of the molecules in sweets? Carbon-holmium-cobalt-lanthanum-tellurium or CHoCoLaTe
I am pretty sure that the favourite soup of Dracula is the Scream of tomato.
The difference between popcorn and pea soup, is that you can pop corn, but you can't pea soup.
What do you get when you fling salt in a tavern?
A barnacle (a.k.a. bar-na-cl).
Why is the strawberry loved dearly by everyone? Because it is berry sweet.
Mom: *Struggling to make a decision between 1% or 2%.
Dad: Milk up your mind!
What do you call a pair of cornstalks that are best friends?
Ear buds!
What do you call a melon that commits a crime?
“A water-fellon!”
What's worst than a monkey eating bananas? A monkey going bananas.
I went into the library and asked for pint of milk. The librarian said 'this is a library'. So i whispered 'I'd like a pint of milk please'.
Why don't cows have any money? Because farmers milk them dry
Some people have to stop telling meat puns, because they simply butcher every single joke.
I went to see a beet poet the other day. There were lots of hip peas there.
Who tells the best egg jokes?
Comedi-hens.
What did the fans say to the band named after a famous chickpea spread?
Hummus a tune.
Where do connoisseurs lock up their best bottles?
In a wine cabernet.
I think therefore I yam.
Q: What do you call an angry pea?
A: Grum-pea!
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