Why shouldn’t you take corn on an airplane?
Your ears will pop!
Did you hear that the diet clinic was doing great business? They say that it’d really take your breadth away.
My milk found all these jokes to be pretty fun. He said they were a-moo-sing!
In life, the rule of thumb is, don’t bite more than you can chew unless it is chocolate.
What do you get when an Elephant sits on an Orange?
Orange squash.
I tried wild ox milk
Turns out I'm yak-tose intolerant
How do monkeys get down the stairs?
They slide down the banana-ster.
Be careful! Theres a deadly fruit on the loose
He has 7 charges of armed Strawbbery.
Some very good advice strawberries give to their children is to respect their elder-berries.
Why does everyone invite ice cream to the party?
It’s cool.
What do you get when you cross an orange with a parrot? A carrot.
"Darling, shall we buy some vegetables for tonight?"
"Yes, lettuce!"
How did the roommate who stole the last avocado from the fruit bowl justify her thievery?
“I know it’s wrong, but it feels so ripe!”
What did the tortilla chip say to the avocado?
“Well, this is guacward.”
What do you get when you photocopy fruit?
Paper jam.
Egg-Plant a kiss on me.
Why are oranges the smartest fruit?
Because they are made to concentrate.
What do you call an edible ion?
An onion
Wine if you must. It’s not good to bottle up your emotions.
What do you call a cow that has 1 leg? Steak
What is the difference between a cow that produces normal milk and a cow that produces chocolate milk?
A mootation
Do you know what you call it when you place beef between two slices of bread? You get a bull-only sandwich.
I’ve been told that I need to stop making puns about meat… But I just can’t stop cold turkey.
It is a great idea to ask peaches to make your shoes. After all, they make excellent cobblers.
Back in the early 2010s, the peach children loved to flock around to listen to Peach Pit.
Did you know that bread that you make into buns is always relaxed? Yes, they just like to roll with it.
During the battle between the two onion kings, one of them was on the back foot as it was leek-ing blood.
What’s an apple’s favorite restaurant? Applebee’s.
I've just invented a new Canadian beer
It's a form of I.P.Eh
The pie-maker couldn't eat any more strawberries because she was already stuffed.
What do you call a strawberry in math?
A berry-able.
Did you know that you can get a slice of lemon pie in Cuba for $1.50, but in Jamaica you can get key lime pie for $1.00?
Those are the pie rates of the Carribean.
If you are wondering about a peach's favorite video game, well it's definitely 'Super Princess Peach'.
The arrogant baker declared, “You’ll never hear a complaint about my doughnuts outside this shop window.”
The customer agreed, “It must be the double glazing.”
What did the skeleton order for lunch? Spare ribs!
Peaches tend to be really mean. After all, they have hearts of stone.
Why did the farmer decide not to buy an extra phone? It was because he already had one for onion rings.
The butcher’s life was at steak when the meat market caught fire.
What happened when one friend forgot to brew her pal a coffee? Their friendship came to a bitter end.
Man wins award after he died eating appetizers at a Mediterranean restaurant
It was a Post-Hummus award.
How do you spell banana? E, V, I, L. Do banana's drink coke or pepsi? Neither, they drink blood because they're evil.
Why was the orange the valedictorian of her class?
She was the zest in class.
Did you hear? The pilgrims rode the May-Flour so that they could bake bread as they went to America. This is a cute option.
Why are tomatoes the slowest vegetable?
Because they can’t ketchup.
I've started a Taco Bell themed John Coltrane cover band.x
We're called Crunchwrap Supremex
Why did the burglar break into the bakery? A; Because he heard the cakes were rich.
Did you hear about the pick-up artist who only ever wears green leaves on his head? Yeah, he’s definitely a pineapple smoothie.
How did the egg get up the hill?
It scrambled up.
Why should you make a cherry pie for someone that you miss? Because absence bakes the heart grow fonder.
Why do hens lay eggs?
Because if they dropped them, they'd break.
Go to BabaMail
