How do you make Pig Jerky?
Give them some coffee.
What do you call bacon with salt on it
Salt and Peppa
What do you call a potato wearing glasses? A spec-tater!
The unluckiest berry in the group is the one that drew the short straw-berry.
What do you say to an avocado who’s done a good job?
“Bravocado!”
What type of bar is kid friendly?
A chocolate bar.
Why does everyone invite ice cream to the party?
It’s cool.
What is a strawberry that likes to spin called? A berry-go-round.
When I proposed to my fiancee, she started crying. It must be because I proposed to her with an onion ring.
Sheep have a clever way of keeping all their four feet warm in the winter; they wear muttons.
Let's pumpkin spice things up a bit
"Are you sure about this?"
"Crust me, I'm on a roll."
How did Henry VIII like his coffee? Decap.
What did the nectarine boxer say to his opponent? "You want a peach of me?"
What happens when no one comes to your birthday party? You can have your cake and eat it too.
What did the steak say when he came across his nemesis? Ah, we meat again!”
Are avocados good for your heart?
Yes, they make for great avo-cardio.
Sorry kids - we won't be carving pumpkins this year... Sorry to squash your enthusiasm.
Did you get a side of hummus?
It's a hummuside.
How many grams of protein are there in that slice of chocolate pie? 3.14159265.
The pecan is ready to come out of its’ shell and see the world.
On Father's Day my family went strawberry picking. Later on, we decided to make a jam...
...from the fruits of our labor
I introduced chocolate to milk. They did a chocolate milk shake.
"Sip, sip hooray."
.
I’m not old. I’m aged to perfection. And full bodied.
I've started a Taco Bell themed John Coltrane cover band.x
We're called Crunchwrap Supremex
What drink do you need to steal? Virgin-tea. Why do hipsters only drink iced tea? Because ice was water before it was cool.
I'm going to tell you all a story about strawberries.....
Once a punnet time....
Why does Mr. Potato Head have a mobile?
In case Mr. Onion rings.
“My favorite color is tangerine- isn’t that orange-inal?”
Strawberries are considered to be the most bullied fruits because they're always getting picked on.
Why was the man holding a bottle of ketchup? Because it was raining cats and hot dogs.
They fired the loaf of bread from her job. They say that she kept breaking down and would rye on the job.
What do you call a walnut in a narwal costume? A nar-walnut.
What do donuts think about donut puns? They donut like them!
Went to the doctor because I got a strawberry stuck in my ear
He gave me some cream for it
What’s the difference between coffee and your opinion?
I asked for coffee.
Why did the cherry go to the good drinks factory? It was cordially invited.
Q: What happened to the peach who went to meet the knife?
A: He came back in many peaches.
Why do donuts hate puns so much?
They donut like to joke around!
I saw a real rob-bbery today. It happened right before my berry eyes.
People who use sleeping bags in the woods are soft tacos for bears.
Which cow has great pickup lines? A cow which is smooth as milk.
I was walking past the store today when I saw a sign saying, "All items one-third off."
So I bought a dozen eggs. Unfortunately four of them were rotten.
What do you call a dinosaur that drinks curry? A Mega-sore-arse.
Why didn’t the mother potato want her daughter to marry the famous newscaster? Because he was a common-tater.
Who did the Caribbean jerk fall in love with? The Spice Girl next door.
When do you put paprika on eggs? Fry-Day.
What kind of tea does Billy like?
Ability.
What do you call who has been electrocuted? You call it anion.
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