Where can you find the best nuts in London? Nut-tinghill.
The pancake was quiet because it did not like to waffle.
How do you kill a salad? You go for the carrot-id artery.
How did the hotdog ask the ketchup out?
He mustard up the courage.
The local baker keeps punching his doughy friend because he wants to get a rise out of him.
When I was in grade school, one of my best friends spoke Mandarin. One day, he introduced me to his parents and I told them I don’t speak orange.
When can a pizza marry a hot dog? After a very frank relationship.
How did the pine propose to the apple? With a pineapple ring.
Did you hear that the diet clinic was doing great business? They say that it’d really take your breadth away.
Why did the banana go out with the prune? Because he couldn't find a date.
How many French eggs do you need?
One egg is un oeuf.
hat did the pizza slicer say when he wanted to rob the pizza?
“Hand over the dough or I’ll cut you!”
Which word can be used to describe a peach that is surprised, shocked, or angry with strong emotion? – Speachless!
What Welsh cheese must you always eat with caution? Caerphilly
Why are cherries unassuming? Because they often get made into humble pie.
What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef!
Why did the farmer decide not to buy an extra phone? It was because he already had one for onion rings.
A cow usually prefers to eat moo-sli for breakfast.
What does a lemon pie and my wife have in common?
They both have meringue on them.
Sheep have a clever way of keeping all their four feet warm in the winter; they wear muttons.
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you going to let me in?.
Why did the coffee call the police? Because it was mugged.
What kind of keys does a kid skeleton use on Halloween? Cook-keys.
What happens to a cherry tree when it grows up? It blossoms.
Tony, where do I even starch? I yam so happy we’re best spuds!
I know a pea that's a famous singer. He's a VIP.
What do leprechauns love to barbecue? Short ribs!
What do you call a cow on the barnyard floor? Ground Beef What do you call a cow with no front legs? Lean Beef
What did the steak say to his enemy? I have a T-bone to pick with you!
What kind of candy makes fun of you? Tootsie Trolls.
I've been hitting the bottle pretty hard recently.
Still can't get the last of that ketchup out.
What’s the worst thing about a bread pun?
It tends to get stale.
What do you call a dog with a fever? A hot dog.
when I smelled breakfast in the morning it was bacon me eggcited.
I went to the backyard this morning and saw a bird of prey drinking a pumpkin spice latte.
It was a millennial falcon.
A chap goes to see the doctor with salt on one ear and pepper on the other. The doctor says, “You need to start eating more sensibly”.
What kind of salad do termites eat?
House salad
What do you give a dog with a fever? Mustard, it's the best thing for a hot dog.
What’s the National Donut Day theme song?
“Donut Stop Believing.”
You’re the tater to my tot. I miss you a lot!
Why was the orange the valedictorian of her class?
She was the zest in class.
A potato gave a gift to his girlfriend.She said, “Aww, why are you so sweet? ”He said, “It’s just the
way I yam.”
When you come across oranges wearing suntan lotion, don’t judge them harshly. They do so in order not to peel.
What did the pickle say to the lemon?
I relish our time together
Apparently there's a fruit that is naturally radioactive.
I think that's bananas!
What type of a computer does a horse like to eat? A Macintosh
What do you call bacon with salt on it?
Salt and Peppa.
Avoid discussing coffee in sensitive company. It can make for a heated and strong debate.
Why was red in awe of orange?
“Because orange blue green.”
A skeleton walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a beer and a mop.
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