Why does it take a while before a peach leaves a fruit basket? They have to give a goodbye peach first.
Two hot dogs were having a race. One overtook the other, who called out “I see you’ve mustard the strength to ketchup with me!”
I recently bought my grandson a vegetable-themed pogo stick exclusively made from spring onions.
It’s too bad the man couldn’t quit his job at the bakery. He really kneaded the dough.
In a romantic date, Romeo says to Juliette “Baby! You are the pineapple of my eyes!”
Why do ice cream cones make such good journalists?
They always get a scoop.
The manager at the bread store told the baker that he had to stop loafing around. The baker said that it was his job.
What do you call a baby potato? Tater tots!
Hap-pea-ness is when you and your friend are like two peas in a pod.
What’s the most supportive beer?
Root beer.
What is the best type of nut for your home wall decor? A walnut.
What do you call a pickle from the southern backwoods.
A hill-dilly.
I can't get my wife to try Mediterranean food.
She doesn't like hummus, which is a naan-starter.
I slept with a lemon once. Now I have lemonaids.
When the bread started crying because it was toast, the loaf told him, "You deserve butter."
Why shouldn’t you take corn on an airplane?
Your ears will pop!
How do comedians like their eggs?
Funny side up.
Where does wine catch up on all the vineyard dirt?
Through the grapevine.
What is a cheese lover’s favorite type of music?
R n’ Brie.
The only type of berry you will ever find in a barn is a straw-berry.
Which is the Richest Cheese in the world? Paris Stilton.
What do you call a healthy dinosaur? Tea-Rex.
What did the orange do the night before the exam?
He put his nose to the “g-rind-stone” and read the entire textbook.
What do you call it when someone hits avocados repeatedly with a hammer?
Gu-whack-a-mole-e.
What do you find when you swallow peas whole?
Inner peas
The man next to her on the train spilled coffee all over her shirt. She responded by showing him dis-stain.
If you coriander into my tomato soup, you will give me a soup-herb dish.
Onions are great at being psychologists as they let people cry their hearts out in front of them.
What happened to the pineapple who was turned down for a date? Crushed pineapple.
How do you know if milk is expired? The smell is dairy bad!
Did you hear about the potato that got its head chopped off? It was decap-potatoed.
The nut gave her boyfriend the kola shoulder for missing their date.
The price of candy at the movie theater is quite ridiculous. They're always raisinet!
You and I make a deluxe combo.
I have so mushroom in my heart for you.
The perfect name for a sad and morose strawberry is a blueberry.
The soup that she cooks is so thick that the kitchen would go around when she stirs it.
A man walks into a bar with a fried egg on his head.
The bartender asks, "Why have you got a fried egg on your head?"
The man replies, "Because boiled eggs fall off."
How did I make the mango tree fit in my flower-pot?
I planted it.
What do you call a cup of leaf juice that doesn’t want to be a dad?
Absent-tea parent.
"Sip happens."
Did you hear about the man chopping an onion with the Grim Reaper?
He was dicing with death
Why did the man lose his job in a fruit packing firm? He kept throwing the bent bananas away.
Whenever the peach father gets mad at his son, he just screams loudly: “You are the son of a peach!”
What do you do when you try to bake a cherry pie for the first time and it doesn't turn out so well? Just wait for the second bite of the cherry.
What's grandma's favorite fruit?
a Ba-nana.
Don't talk to him before he's had his espresso or he'll lose his tamper.
My daughter picked up a piece of fruit and asked, "Is this a pear?"
"No," I replied, "there is only one."
Why didn't the unripe strawberry got any cards and chocolates for Valentine's Day? Because it was really sour.
I lost my grip, and my beer shattered on the floor.
This Corona outbreak is really getting out of hand.
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