Q: How do two cherries make up after an argument?
A: They cherry the hatchet.
What did the lemon juice say to the baking soda?
Ya basic!
What is the only way one does not have to cry while cutting onions? They simply don't have to form emotional bonds with it.
When does a hot dog have a close shave? At the barber-cue!
Why did Bill's friend get covered in beer?
Because William Shakes Beer.
What did baby corn say to Mama corn?
Where's Popcorn?
What do you call an edible ion?
An onion
What do you call a small Subaru car covered in road salt?
An Impretzel!
What is a vampire’s favorite fruit?
A blood orange.
All the other vegetables have always felt very emotional whenever they are near the onion.
What do you call a dog with a fever? A hot dog.
I sent back the soup served to me at the restaurant. It was not of soup-reme quality.
You know what they say about when life gives you melons?
You might be dyslexic.
I saw a fruit running from the police recently
It was a water felon.
What is a hair stylist's favorite steak? A flat iron!
Vegans really have a beef with meat.
Where do you smart hot dogs go?… On the honor role.
What do sailors drink when they gather at a tavern to commiserate?
Port whine!
Never tell a taco a secret
It will spill the beans
What’s sweet and goes woof?
Pupcakes!
I used to hate peas. I like them now, I just make sure I think of them as 'o's.'
What does a birthday cake and a baseball team have in common?
They both need good batters.
“Waiter, will my pizza be long?”
“No sir, it will be round!”
Soft fruits make really supportive parents. Whenever their youngsters fail at something, they just smile and say “Have another bite at the cherry.”
When shouldn't you drink a hot beverage? If it's not your cup of tea.
So I asked Satan if he had any milk I could drink...
He told me "No whey in Hell!"
Why do the French eat snails? They dislike fast food.
I’m bacon you! Please stop with the meat puns!
What do you call a pastor who wanders from town to town, looking for leafy green vegetables?
A romaine Catholic priest.
Those people are preparing peach gelato because they want to demonstrate their rights to freeze peach!
How does the Skywalker family like their tea?
Lukewarm.
Why did the banana go to the hairdressers? Because it had split ends!
What do you call a nut who works hard? One who burns the mid-nut oil.
Why did the ice cream truck break down?
There was a rocky road.
Why does the lettuce always win the bodybuilding competition?
Cuz it starts a head and is usually shredded.
What do you do when your partner drinks your coffee? I don't know, but that's certainly grounds for divorce.
Why didn't the corn chip advocate wear shoes?
They believed in Fritos.
How are guys just like coffee?
The best ones are rich, hot, and can keep you up all night!
Did you hear about the little grape who didn’t want to be made into wine?
Unfortunately, he was pressed into service!
Somebody was doing a speech and said, "This might be corny," and pulled out a couple of canned corns. Guess what happened next?
Total pundemonium.
If you put your ear up to a Taco Shell
You can hear the Sí.
Why should you always bring a bag of tortilla chips to a party?
In queso emergency.
It is really rare to find the most perfectly cooked steak.
Why did the orange get insurance?
Zest in case.
Why are popsicles so snobby?
They have a stick up their butt.
Why didn't the two worms go into Noah's ark in an apple? Because everyone had to go in pairs !
What type of egg refuses to come out of his shell?
An egg-arophobic.
One should always practice what they peach.
Why did the wheel act so bossy? Cause he was the "Big Cheese."
What kind of tea does Billy like?
Ability.
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