“My favorite color is tangerine- isn’t that orange-inal?”
Did you know dried fruits favorite news segments is...
Current events.
I know a pea that's a famous singer. He's a VIP.
Every girl is just like a pineapple: They both have many pointy defences, but they are still sweet and adorable.
My daughter picked up a piece of fruit and asked, "Is this a pear?"
"No," I replied, "there is only one."
What did the vegetable say at the party?
Lettuce turnip the beet!
When she asked me if I like soup, I replied saying "I am crazy pho soups".
One day on the highway, I saw a packet of onions and cheese walking down the road. When I offered them a lift, they declined by saying that they were 'Walkers'.
What did the coffee lover name his son?
Joe, obviously.
Dad fertilized the garden with corn starch.
The plot thickens.
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What do you call mountain climbing corn?
Mountain-ears.
What’s the only type of melon that changes colours at will? Well, a chamelon.
Why did the cheese shop owner finally quit the business?
He was tired of the daily rind.
The nectarine academic is doing a Ph.D. in 'Peach and Language Psychology' from the University of Georgia.
What is a lions favourite cheese? Roar-quefort
I just had the most manly craft beer at my Israeli restaurant.
It was called He-Brew.
What do you call someone who’s crazy about corn?
A corn-ivore!
How does cabernet like to travel abroad?
On a cruise sip.
What’s a good way to start a conversation with a cheese plate on Tinder?
“Hello. Is it brie you’re looking for?”
Did you hear the one about the pecan, the walnut, and the cashew?
It was nut funny.
Q: What did the old orange see before it died?
A: The grim ripe-r.
What cheese is made backwards?
Edam.
What do you call a potato that has turned to the dark side? Vader tots!
Breakfasts with my family always feel like a party because they're always making toasts.
The best punishment to give orange kids is getting them canned. This is the only way to prevent them from going bad.
We're like three peas in a pod, but lately I feel left out. It's making me quite unhap-pea.
Have you ever seen the episode of VeggieTales directed by Tarantino?
It’s called Mango Unchained.
"Love the wine you're with."
All the peanuts decided to start a social nutwork where they would all link up for a common good and even advocate for their rights.
When the little boy was baking a cake why did it run away? Because it said crack 2 eggs then beat it!
How many grams of protein are there in that slice of chocolate pie? 3.14159265.
My sister's trying to get famous. She'll never make it, she's just a wanna-pea.
How did the pine propose to the apple? With a pineapple ring.
Have you ever tried kangaroo meat? I have. It was tasty, but it made me a bit jumpy.
Last night I dreamt I was swimming in a sea of oranges. I guess it was just a Fanta-sea!
What's a redneck's favorite beer?
An open one.
Why shouldn’t you take corn on an airplane?
Your ears will pop!
When I went to the shop to buy some strawberries, they didn't have any. It was such a fruitless trip.
Why did the hare go to the taco truck?
He couldn't beat the tortas.
Why did the pumpkin pie go to a dentist?
Because it needed a filling.
I sent back the soup served to me at the restaurant. It was not of soup-reme quality.
What do you call one green onion that doesn't listen to anyone and is very naughty? It is called a rapscallion!
Why do ice cream cones always carry an umbrella?
There’s a chance of sprinkles.
Remind your kids not to overdo it on the pumpkin pie this time of year.
Or they might get autumn'y ache.
What do you call a fat kid who likes chocolate milk?
An OvalTeen
Why does a cow hate artificial milk? Because the substance is pow-dairy.
I love the smell of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies They smell just like burned toast
Let's pumpkin spice things up a bit
How do you know it’s getting kind of serious with a cheese lover?
They tell you they are pretty fondue you.
What's an egg's favorite tree?
A y-oak tree.
What is ice cream’s favorite day of the week?
Sundae.
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