What do you call a cake that likes heavy metal? Megadeth by Chocolate.
The orange juice industry is not doing very well.
Tomorrow they will give a special press release.
Nobody would ask the strawberry to go to the prom because it was past her sale by date.
Who is the superhero who loves to have soup all the time? Souper-man.
What’s a potato’s least favorite dance? The Mash Potato.
What do you call a healthy dinosaur? Tea-Rex.
I can’t remember who it’s by, but you could have “It Started With A Hershey’s Kiss”.
What is the name of the onion ring that cannot but be funny? It is a Funyon!
What did the apple say to the almond? You're Nuts!
Q: Why are orange and banana phones so popular these days?
A: They have appeal.
When I took a break from having soup, my mom said "Carry on, why did you stoup?"
I tried to give the guy who came to clean our septic tank out a beer. He said, “I’m not the type of guy who drinks on the job.”
I said, “Yeah, you wouldn’t want you’re boss to catch you sh*t faced.”
What did the blind man say after being handed a cheese grater? "That's the most violent book I've ever read."
What do they serve at birthday parties in heaven? Angel food cake, of course!
What did the horny woman say about her coffee?
That coffee’s not the only thing that’s hot and wet this morning.
What vegetable isnt allowed on cruise ships?
Leeks.
What do you call a communist vegetable
a soviet onion.
The hotdog severely fell behind in school which is why he has to ketchup.
When you come across a strawberry that uses foul language, it must be berry rude.
Donut even think about taking another donut!
Why don’t most people enjoy jokes about taco shells?
They’re too corny
You might be startled to see a hamburger working out in your local gym. Don’t worry, they’re just there because they want better buns.
I went into the library and asked for pint of milk. The librarian said 'this is a library'. So i whispered 'I'd like a pint of milk please'.
My decision to become a Hindu was a missed steak
My wife started a tropical diet
There’s so much stuff in the house it’s enough to make a mango crazy.
Don't be too harsh on the bread. All it kneads is love.
“Spring, salad, shallot, picked”, said a friend. He knows his onions.
"Are you sure about this?"
"Crust me, I'm on a roll."
What's a barista's favorite exercise at the gym? The French press.
What a spud muffin.
What do you call it when someone hits avocados repeatedly with a hammer?
Gu-whack-a-mole-e.
Potatoes that are medi-tators maintain calm and peace even when uprooted.
Did you hear about the Italian chef with the terminal illness?
He pastaway. Now he’s just a pizza history.
What does a lemon pie and my wife have in common?
They both have meringue on them.
Thanks to you, I’m saddled with unnecessary peelings.
Why was the coffee-shop worker fired? He kept showing up in a Tea-shirt.
What did the lovesick pig sing to his girlfriend? Don't go bacon my heart!
They say that the local baker is the breadwinner of his family. True enough.
What happens after you eat an entire gallon of "All Natural" ice cream? You get Breyer's remorse!
Q: Why were the two green pea plants so close?
A: They had deep roots.
Why don't anarchists drink green tea?
Because it helps fight free radicals.
How do you defeat a meat-loving vampire? With a steak to the heart!
Some very good advice strawberries give to their children is to respect their elder-berries.
Wondering about a peach's favorite sci-fi novel? It's 'When You Peach Me'.
What do you do with epileptic lettuce? You make a seizure salad!
What did the pear say to the other pear when they just got together?
It’s good to be a pair.
Lettuce stop these governmental leeks.
Why didn't the unripe strawberry got any cards and chocolates for Valentine's Day? Because it was really sour.
Why did the boy leave his chestnuts in the rain?
He wanted them rusted.
Many people have puns, but they will nut tella you.
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