Why shouldn’t you go into business with a watermelon?
“They’re seedy.”
Mr. and Mrs. Peanut finally got married and tied the nut.
What is a cheese lover’s favorite track and field event?
The curdles.
The next person that asks me for pineapple juice, cranberry juice, lemonade, and a slice of orange all in the same glass is gonna get a “punch.
What kind of donuts can fly?
The plain ones.
Why did the cantaloupe jump into the pool?
“It wanted to be a watermelon.”
What is a popular name for girl peanuts?
Michelle.
What kind of donuts fly? Plain ones!
Why did the aging bread roll retire?
Her career was already toast.
How did Reese eat her ice cream? Witherspoon.
A motivated nut is a pecan. Because pe-can do anything.
National Herbs and Spices Day is celebrated annually on June 10.
What did the M&M go to college? Because he wanted to be a Smarty.
How many tacos can an octopus eat?
Ten tacos.
Why do watermelons have fancy weddings? Because they cantaloupe.
What’s another name for a chess-nut? A nut who loves chess.
What did the girl dinosaur ask her pet dog?
"Do you want some tea, Rex?"
I got over my addiction to chocolate, marshmallow, and nuts.
I won’t lie, it was a rocky road.
Knock Knock
Who’s there Justin Justin who? Justin time to make the donuts!
How did the hipster burn his tongue? He drank his coffee before it was cool.
Strawberries are only made in the strawberry plant.
Why does every watermelon want to be in the Guinness book of records? Because there’s a lot of watermelon smashing to be done.
What do you find when you swallow peas whole?
Inner peas
Q: What made the green pea turn red?
A: It saw the salad dressing.
I've got a really good vegetable pun.
I’d tell you but I’m worried you’d think it’s too corny.
Back in the early 2010s, the peach children loved to flock around to listen to Peach Pit.
A lettuce farm was busted by the FDA on suspicion of combining plant and human DNA to create a new protein hybrid.
When they dug up the grounds the found human romaines.
What's a baby gherkin's favorite TV channel?
Pickleodeon.
Why did the hipster burn his lips?
He ate his pizza before it was cool.
I rarely put orange slices in my beer.
Once in a Blue Moon.
My father is a farmer who grows strawberries. However, his business has recently gone into liquidation after he made smoothies.
Did you hear about the pea pod that became damaged?
It had to wear a pod cast.
Don't be too harsh on the bread. All it kneads is love.
What did one nut say to the other?
“Cashew later.”
Did you know you can make a really good music player out of a cherry cake? It’s called a gateau blaster.
Why did Eve want to leave the garden of Eden and move to New York ? She fell for the Big Apple !
What do you call a vegetable planted at a whore house?
A brothel sprout.
What kind of party is held in a cornfield?
A cornball!
What does a pizza say when it wants to cuddle?
Fold me close.
What’s the National Donut Day theme song?
“Donut Stop Believing.”
Did you hear about the potato that got its head chopped off? It was decap-potatoed.
What do you call someone who eats too many eggs?
An egg-oholic.
Q: Why did the fruit finish her homework so quickly?
A: Because the homework was a peach of cake.
How did Reese eat her soup? Witherspoon.
Went to a German restaurant. The beer was fine,
But their sausage was the wurst!
What do dogs like to drink? Kit-Tea.
A lemon got a job in a vinegar factory last week...
Starting salary was $15 per sour.
Mom: Why did you shave the peaches!
Dad: The recipe asked for nectarines.
I can't drink milk. I lactose genes required to digest it.
The scientist was meticulous about his strawberry pies. He rounded up the protein content of his pie at 3.14.
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