Why did the watermelon go crazy?
“He lost his rind.”
Why did the monkey like the banana? Because it had appeal!
What do you call a steak hurtling through space? A meat-ior!
National Herbs and Spices Day is celebrated annually on June 10.
I once attended the saddest watermelon funeral I’ve ever been to. I gotta say, I’ve never seen anything so meloncholy in my life.
You and I make a deluxe combo.
Why did the students eat their homework?
Because the teacher said that it was a piece of cake.
Q: Why did the cherry stop in the middle of the road?
A: It ran out of juice.
What did mama bread say to her kids?
It’s way past your breadtime!
Why didn’t the chef slice his cheese?
He had grater plans.
There’s this corn on the cob stand that I really like, but it started making ads
They were really corny.
What does a posh salad shout before it's eaten?
KELP!
What is a French cat's favorite dessert? Chocolate mousse!
If you coriander into my tomato soup, you will give me a soup-herb dish.
“My bowl of soup must be cracked as it is all wet down here”. “Well, I guess it is because your soup has a leek in it.
Why did the burglar break into the bakery? Because he heard the cakes were rich.
Why would the fruits beat the vegetables?
They have a better punch.
I always tend to forget the french word for strawberry sometimes. But, then I eventually remember the fraise.
I like fried chickpeas, but I shouldn't eat them. Every time I do I falafel.
What is the recipe for Honeymoon Salad? Lettuce alone without dressing.
What's brown and rhymes with Snoop?
French onion soup.
What do you call a pumpkin that can slam dunk a basketball?
Michael Gourdan.
We had made everything for the party and the groom came in, did a quick assessment and didn’t seem amused. “Orange you glad we did this?” we asked him.
The baby strawberries were berry upset when they heard that both their parents were in the jam.
Some people have to stop telling meat puns, because they simply butcher every single joke.
I love you from my head tomato
Cherry pie can be a bit aggressive. Rumor has it they go around saying, “Hey! You want a piece of me?”
So, what do you do with an epileptic watermelon? Simple, you make a seizure salad.
What did the kid nut say to the other when playing tag? “I’m going to cashew”.
When should you go on a cheese diet? If you need to cheddar a few pounds
What do you get from an Alaskan cow ? Ice Cream
What happened when rockers couldn't get their favorite dessert? Rage against the Broken Ice Cream Machine.
I just got over my addiction to chocolate, marshmallows and nuts I won’t lie, it was a Rocky Road.
Why did the pig become an actress? Because she was a real ham!
What is the charge for beating someone with a bottle of olive oil and a can of chick peas ?
Attempted Hummus-ide.
He is the best chef in the city. His soups take my broth away.
What do cheese makers dance to on halloween? The muenster mash!
Where did Vegans come from?
Hummus Sapiens
How did the egg get up the hill?
It scrambled up.
My daughter picked up a piece of fruit and asked, "Is this a pear?"
"No," I replied, "there is only one."
What happened after an explosion at a French cheese factory? All that was left was de brie.
Too tired, I’m out of aspara-gas.
How do you celebrate orange drink that doesn't expire?
Woo! Tang is forever!
What's the motto of vegetables? Don't worry, pea happy.
What vegetable isnt allowed on cruise ships?
Leeks.
Did you hear about the fruit who was convicted of armed robbery?
“Now he’s a waterfelon.”
Are you a vegan?
'Cause I yam.
My girlfriend was seasoning the soup. I asked, "What spice is that?", and she replied "Sage".
I said, "Sounds wise".
Wine puns. They're always in pour taste.
What type of chocolate do they sell at the airport?
Plane Chocolate!
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