Which hand should we use to stir the soup? It is better to stir the soup with a spoon!
A fruit was madly in love, it was peachy–keen.
My son just tried to tell me a joke about pumpkins.
Oh, gourd, was it awful.
I'm not too fond of not finishing my entire bowl of cereal. I think I have irritable bowl syndrome.
I have so mushroom in my heart for you.
What do you call fraudulent milk? Cow-nterfeit.
Chopping down other people’s cherry trees is definitely frowned upon. However, you likely won’t get into too much trouble for it – as long as you keep hold of the axe!
What did the girl dinosaur ask her pet dog?
"Do you want some tea, Rex?"
Why couldn't the teddy bear finish his dessert? Cause he was stuffed.
My father is a farmer who grows strawberries. However, his business has recently gone into liquidation after he made smoothies.
If you get an email about pork salt and fat, don't open it.
It's Spam.
Where do bananas go to learn to be sweet?
Sundae School.
What do you get when you drink milk
A moostache
I made a pie with a can of peas in. Pea-can pie. It didn't taste how I imagined.
What do magician avocados say?
Avocadabra!
When the mama peach found out that his child had failed his class, she was s-peach-less.
What do you call a womanising chocolate? A cad-bury.
How do monkeys get down the stairs? They slide down the banana-ster!
What do you call a fruit riding a motorcycle?
“An Orange County Chopper.”
What did the health-nut say to himself at the gym? “No pine, no gain”
I used to sell loose onions
Until I got the sack
Did you know that bread that you make into buns is always relaxed? Yes, they just like to roll with it.
My neighbor said a man walked into my garden and stole my mangoes.
I am wondering where did that mango.
What did the M&M go to college? Because he wanted to be a Smarty.
What do fruit bowls say when they dress up as a ghost on Halloween? Be cherry afraid!
What do you get if you cross a pumpkin with a bigfoot?
A Sasquash.
The arrogant baker declared, “You’ll never hear a complaint about my doughnuts outside this shop window.”
The customer agreed, “It must be the double glazing.”
I recently read a book by an onion which had opened up on its life. Midway through the book, I started crying.
When you cross a train engine with a strawberry tart, you make a puff pastry.
Why was the baker in a serious panic? He thought that he was in a loaf or death situation.
During the summer break, I enrolled myself in a peach coding course.
I walked into the kitchen and saw my wife chopping onions which made me cry
Onions was a good dog
What do you call a Vegetarian with diarrhea? A Salad Shooter.
When do bakers stop making donuts?
When they get tired of the hole thing.
What do strawberries wear to bed?
Jammies!
I got over my addiction to chocolate, marshmallow, and nuts.
I won’t lie, it was a rocky road.
What do you call a girl watermelon cop on the beat? A water fe-melon duty.
If Jim has 15 watermelons and throws one at Mary, what does Mary have?
“A really bad headache!”
What do you call an onion who decides to be very eco-friendly in its approach? You name it a green onion.
Why shouldn’t you tell a secret on a farm? Because the potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears.
Why did the donut go to the doctor?
He was feeling crumby.
He ordered 6 vodkas, 6 beers and 6 lemonades. The bartender asked if he would like a tray.
"No I have enough to carry as it is."
What does a mommy cherry say to her children? I love you cherry much.
How do you say “four avocados” in Spanish?
Um, avo-cuatro?
I don't know what happened, but the moment I brought the onion into the kitchen, everything got rejuvenated, and everything started feeling fresh! Guess this really is a spring onion.
Why did one melon break up with the other melon?
“He didn’t know water problem was.”
Why didn't the unripe strawberry got any cards and chocolates for Valentine's Day? Because it was really sour.
What do you call a very feminine cow that likes to be in charge? The Dairy Queen.
Why doesn't Daniel Tosh eat Hot Dogs? He can't find the zipper
"Giving you more reasons to wine."
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