Teacher: What are the seasons? Student: Salt, pepper, ginger...
What did the apple teacher say to her student? Help me orange the chairs please!
What do you call a cow on the barnyard floor? Ground Beef What do you call a cow with no front legs? Lean Beef
When shouldn't you believe a word your cheese is saying? When it's too Gouda to be true.
The peach couple from school is totally in love. They seem so perfect for peach other.
Why was Officer Peanut Butter out in the road? Because he was directing a traffic jam.
What’s a pizza maker’s favorite song?
Slice, Slice Baby
How can you spot a fashionista donut?
They’re into all the latest glazes.
Kid: Dad, why don’t you approve of the consumption of dairy products?
Dad: Because I was raised lactose intolerant.
What do you call someone who steals from the keebler elves? A crook-ie
Did you hear about the guy who had an addiction to cheddar cheese?
It was only mild.
The onion husband and wife had a fight, and she told him that he shouldn't have exposed all his layers because it was making her cry.
The pineapple is pining for the summer.
Why did the birthday cake go to the doctor? Because it was feeling crumby!
Why can't Superman eat the corn tortillas at taco Tuesday?
He's afraid of that chip tonight.
What’s Another Name For iPhone Chargers?
Apple Juice.
Went to the doctor because I got a strawberry stuck in my ear
He gave me some cream for it
He was showing off his new gaming gadget, "it has the latest peach recognition technology" he said.
Inviting cherries over for a drinks party is easy. Simply start your invitation with “You are cordially invited…”
How do you make Pig Jerky?
Give them some coffee.
A man walks into a bar with a fried egg on his head.
The bartender asks, "Why have you got a fried egg on your head?"
The man replies, "Because boiled eggs fall off."
"You focaccia bag, crumb back and get it."
What do leprechauns love to barbecue? Short ribs!
What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef jerky!
What drink do you need to steal? Virgin-tea. Why do hipsters only drink iced tea? Because ice was water before it was cool.
What do you calla watermelon that just won’t stop committing crimes? A watefelon.
Why are men like coffee? The best ones are rich, hot, and can keep you up all night!
Onions are great gymnasts as they have the advantage of swinging on the onion rings.
Recently in a meeting at the greengrocer I work at, I asked my manager how he was doing. "Just peachy", he replied.
Knock Knock
Who’s there Justin Justin who? Justin time to make the donuts!
I allow myself only one donut per year.
This morning I had 433 B.C., 1731, and 1952.
A fruit was madly in love, it was peachy–keen.
Why did the pumpkin cross the road? It fell off the wagon!
He says to the doctor, "Help me Doc, what's the matter with me?"
The doctor replies, "That's easy. You're not eating properly."
I fed my wife some ground chick peas and she choked to death
The police are treating it as a hummuside.
What happens when you go on an all-cheese diet?
You cheddar few pounds.
Why does Britain like tea so much?
Because tea leaves.
What is the onion that laughs a lot and is small and white in color? It is a tickled onion.
Wondering about a peach's favorite movie? Well it has to be the 'King's Peach'.
Do you know how to get a raise at the bread factory? Try buttering up to the boss.
What's so special about twitter alphabet soup? It only has 140 letters.
What do you call fake oranges?
“Pulp Fiction”
Did you hear about the CEO that got fired at the dairy farm? He was skimming a little bit off the top.
I must confess that I've started stealing vegetables from the local grocery...
I can't help it! I get to the store and I have to take a leek!
Which sports team do wine lovers always root for?
The Reds!
What’s the difference between coffee and your opinion?
I asked for coffee.
The pie-maker couldn't eat any more strawberries because she was already stuffed.
I once attended the saddest watermelon funeral I’ve ever been to. I gotta say, I’ve never seen anything so meloncholy in my life.
I had no clue how much lettuce to buy, so I called my wife from the grocery store.
Turns out two heads are better than one.
Never tell a taco a secret
It will spill the beans
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