Grandma: Do you like Hummus? Me: I love Hummus....and I sometimes like to singus!
What day to eggs hate the most?
Fry-day.
What did the apple say to the almond? You're Nuts!
The only thing that looks like half a strawberry is the other half.
What do you call a fat pumpkin?
A plumpkin!
The pecan is ready to come out of its’ shell and see the world.
I love you from my head tomato
Why don't they make ice cream from breast milk? It's an udderly bad idea!
My mother told me to leave the peach cobbler alone on the table. But I couldn't help but watch the cobbler make the beautiful peach shoes.
When the mama peach found out that his child had failed his class, she was s-peach-less.
The old and wise onion had once told me that life is similar to onions. Whenever we peel off our protective layers, we end up crying.
Why did the pirate have a pumpkin strapped to his arm?
He was a squash-buckler.
What kind of pizza do you order on Christmas?
Cheeses Crust.
Chuck berry was undoubtedly the greatest rock and roll strawberry.
When you find a blue strawberry, try to cheer it up.
Why does the mushroom always get invited to pizza parties?
Because he’s such a fungi!
Too tired, I’m out of aspara-gas.
What does a hippy cherry wear to a festival? A pie dye T-shirt.
What did the two coffee lovers say on their wedding day? We were meant to bean together.
What do you call a dog with a fever? A hot dog.
How did the egg get up the hill?
It scrambled up.
There was an announcement on the news the other day, we've finally achieved world peas.
I met a chicken once; she was desperate to join a band. She even had her own drumsticks.
Sometimes a pea starts acting like a diva. We call them a pea-Madonna.
What does a birthday cake and a baseball team have in common?
They both need good batters.
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you going to let me in?.
How can you tell if you are in love?
If they stole a pizza your heart.
What did the steak say to his girlfriend? You're the apple of my rib-eye!
What happened to the criminal magician who ate to much salt?
Cardiac arrest.
What do you get if a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn?
An eggroll.
Why did the corn stalks hold a ceremony in honor of the scarecrow?
To corn-gratulate him for being out standing in their field!
How can you spot a fashionista donut?
They’re into all the latest glazes.
Why was the orange feeling sad?
It lost its zest for life.
What's a vampire's most favorite fruit? It must be a neck-tarine peach.
The big play is in seven days, you better work on your peach enhancement techniques.
How can you tell that a blondes been baking chocolate chip cookies? Theres M&M shells all over the floor.
Why are watermelons, such good entrepreneurs?
“They always have seed money.”
Why did the orange fall out of the tree?
It went out on a limb.
Wife dropped a jar of pickles upon opening the fridge; glass and pickle juice went all over the kitchen floor.
Me: Don't worry, it's not a big dill.
Where do eggs go on holiday?
New Yolk.
Why did the blonde throw her favorite doll on the grill? She thought it was a Barbie-Q.
What do u get from a perverted apple? Hard Cider.
What do you get if you cross a jogger with an apple pie ? Puff pastry !
What do you call a fruity pop star? Katy Peary.
A berry funny strawberry candy is called a Laffy taffy.
How does cabernet like to travel abroad?
On a cruise sip.
What's an egg's favorite tree?
A y-oak tree.
"I'm not a wino. I'm a wineYES!"
What do you call a nut stuck to a wall?
A walnut.
What happened when a farmer crossed a chili pepper, a shovel, and a pitbull? He got a hot-diggity-dog.
Go to BabaMail
