Somehow they knew I wanted champagne. It was chilling.
Why couldn’t the donut reach enlightenment? Because it was already holy.
All the other vegetables have always felt very emotional whenever they are near the onion.
What Christmas carol do candy bars sing? Almond Joy To The World.
Why did the fruit run for president? He wanted world peach.
ALDI grocery stores have announced their new store brand peanuts.
ALDI’s nuts.
What’s the best thing about being a butcher? You get to meat the best people.
How do you get a musician off your front porch?
Pay for the pizza.
The only thing that looks like half a strawberry is the other half.
I am pretty sure that the favourite soup of Dracula is the Scream of tomato.
The pineapple is pining for the summer.
How do you describe a polite german lemon?
Bitte(r)
What do you tell your friend after she breaks up with a cheese lover?
You’re cheddar off without him!
What do you call a cake that likes heavy metal?
Megadeath by Chocolate.
Someone told me I looked like a salt shaker. I took it as a condiment.
Know what kind of cookies rich people love? Fortune cookies.
Why was the slice of bread upset with her husband?
He told her she was being too kneady.
What would you call two banana skins? A pair of slippers!
What do you call a cow with no legs at all? Ground beef
What did the arrogant pickle say?
I'm kind of a big dill.
Did you hear about the Italian chef with the terminal illness?
He pastaway. Now he’s just a pizza history.
How do you make Ohio State University cookies? Put them in a big Bowl and beat for 3 hours.
What kind of candy bar does an employee crave before the weekend? A Payday
During the summer break, I enrolled myself in a peach coding course.
Why did the strawberries turned red? Because they saw the salad dressing.
What kind of wine do they serve at the horse races?
Chardon-neigh!
What do donuts wear to weddings? Tuxe-doughs!
What is a cheese lover’s favorite track and field event?
The curdles.
What do you call a hot dog race? Wiener takes all.
How do berries start off the fruity olympics? They cherry the Olympic torch around the globe.
I yam rooting for you my sweet potato and I won't mash your heart
Why don't cows have any money? Because farmers milk them dry
What did the farmer say when someone complimented him on his corn harvest?
Aww, shucks!
The big play is in seven days, you better work on your peach enhancement techniques.
What did the Egg say to the boiling water? It's going to take awhile to get me hard I just got layed by some chick!
My mum makes the best soups. She is a real soup-erstar.
How did the Mother Banana spoil the Baby Banana? She left him out in the sun too long.
What do you call bacon with salt on it
Salt and Peppa
What’s worse than finding a worm in your pear?
Finding half a worm.
What do you call a nut who loves the game of chess?
A chess-nut.
What do you call a socialite made of cheese?
Paris Stilton.
Did you hear? The pilgrims rode the May-Flour so that they could bake bread as they went to America. This is a cute option.
Where do astronauts buy their milk? From the milky way!!!
What do you call a girl with no arms, no legs, sitting in a watermelon patch?
“Melanie! (melon-y)”
The forecast said that we’re in for a hot summer; better make sure I watermelon everyday or else the yard will dry up.
Eating no meat except fish is really bothersome.
I should stop being a Pesky-tarian.
I lost one pea from my plate at dinner the other day. It was an escape-pea.
When the peach lost her mother, it left a deep pit in her heart.
A motivated nut is a pecan. Because pe-can do anything.
What did Snow White call her chicken?
Egg White.
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