What do you call a nut with a hairy upper lip?
A mustach-io
Who answers the door at the peanut mansion?
The peanut butler.
What do you call hot dogs in winter? Chilly dogs!
I spent last Christmas with a bunch of soft fruit. I kept getting confused with the toast – they were saying “Eat, drink and be cherry!”
What did the toast say to the psychic?
You bread my mind!
Knock Knock.
Who’s there? Donut. Donut who? Donut ask, it’s a secret!
My wife just started an all-fruit diet.
There was enough food to make a mango crazy.
The innocent blueberry got easily framed for the crime because the evidence was a strawberry plant.
I can't use my laptop anymore because someone spilled apple juice on it.
It was a cider attack.
I recently heard on the news that due to newly detected fungus infection in the onions, the government was recalling all the recent packages of the vegetables. Despite being a farmer, I had no tears to shed over this.
Why did I start making a cherry pie? Bake-cause I love it.
"I'd like to make a toast!", said the bread to the bride on her wedding day.
What sandwich spread makes people itch?
Flea-nut butter.
The cow intestine dish was offal, but the pig organ tacos was grocer!
Subway - Lettuce know how we did.
Did you hear about the pear that fell off of the tree and fell to its death?
The damage was irreparable.
Why is it harder for Orange Juice to slide across a floor than apple juice?
Pulp Friction.
What is green and brown and crawls through the grass? A Girl Scout who has lost her cookie.
How does the Skywalker family like their tea?
Lukewarm.
When is a vegetable also a nut?
When it’s a corn!
What do you get when you cross Frosty with a baker?
Frosty the Dough-Man!
How do you describe an onion which is in its early stages after birth? You say it is in its onion-ic period of its life.
The fruit bat ate the orange because of its appeal. It had such a nice color.
"No wine left behind."
"Read between the wines."
What did the M&M go to college? Because he wanted to be a Smarty.
What’s the best time to eat a peach while watching a NASCAR race? During the pit stop!
What is the onion that laughs a lot and is small and white in color? It is a tickled onion.
What should you do if you drop a root vegetable face down?
Turnip over.
My biology class was going on and on, and I was stuck in the middle of it. Well, you know, this is how it feels to be an on-i-on.
Where did the nut keep his money?
In his cash shoe.
What’s sweet and goes woof?
Pupcakes!
Why do pigs go to New York City? To see the Big Apple.
What do you get when you hghyphotocopy fruit?
Paper jam.
What do you call yogurt that is terrified of other dairy products? A cow-ard!
Which vegetable is most likely to be your friend?
The broccoli.
What do they serve at birthday parties in heaven? Angel food cake, of course!
“Mom, what do we have for this dinner?” – “I cannot tell you. It is a little soup-prise, son!”
Q: Where do fruits manufacture their money?
A: Peach Mint.
Why does your grandma like wine so much?
Because at her age, she needs glasses!
What happens to Germans when they eat too many lemons?
They become sour krauts.
If you're in a food fight, always throw peas. We need to give peas a chance.
How are a car and a bicycle similar?
“You can’t make watermelon juice out of either of them.”
My wife doesn't like spicy food and I think it's a cayenne shame.
Why did the monkey like the banana? Because it had appeal!
Why did the butter keep talking? Because he felt like he was really on a roll.
Why can't Superman eat the corn tortillas at taco Tuesday?
He's afraid of that chip tonight.
Why did the orange cry?
Someone hurt its peelings.
What is red and goes putt, putt, putt? An outboard apple.
What’s the difference between a Starbucks latte and a whore?
Nothing, they both suck and empty your wallet!
Go to BabaMail
