What do you call who has been electrocuted? You call it anion.
During the battle between the two onion kings, one of them was on the back foot as it was leek-ing blood.
Why does the cookie monster fear the gingerbread man? Because he’s one tough cookie.
What do you call chick peas in a cavern?
Humus Sapiens
How is ice cream as a girlfriend?
The sweetest.
I'm not saying you're old, but if you were milk I'd sniff you first.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Cash.
Cash who?
No thanks, I prefer walnuts.
What’s the National Donut Day theme song?
“Donut Stop Believing.”
What do you call a self-obsessed egg?
An eggomaniac.
"I make pour decisions."
Did you know you can make a really good music player out of a cherry cake? It’s called a gateau blaster.
What is a pirate’s favorite cheese?
Ched-arrrrgh!
Taco Bell overcooked my food
I asked for a brrrr-ito and an en-chill-ata.
What happens when you buy too much ice cream?
Breyer’s remorse.
Why shouldn’t you go into business with a watermelon?
“They’re seedy.”
“My bowl of soup must be cracked as it is all wet down here”. “Well, I guess it is because your soup has a leek in it.
We had made everything for the party and the groom came in, did a quick assessment and didn’t seem amused. “Orange you glad we did this?” we asked him.
My wife came home angry from the gynecologist after he told her she had to stop using lemon douche
She's been such a sour puss about it.
I know a pea that's a famous singer. He's a VIP.
What's a barista's favorite exercise at the gym? The French press.
The local baker keeps punching his doughy friend because he wants to get a rise out of him.
My business that sells strawberry juice has gone into liquidation
It is really rare to find the most perfectly cooked steak.
The strawberry went out with the grape only because he couldn't find a date.
The IT peach-guy is an expert in the field of peach synthesis.
Why do communist hate bacon?
Because it’s from capitalist pigs.
What did the pinecone say to the pineapple? Nice to meet juice.
What do you call a hot dog with nothing inside it? A “hollow-weenie!”
What happened when a farmer crossed a chili pepper, a shovel, and a pitbull? He got a hot-diggity-dog.
I told my mom there was a crack in her mug...
She said, ”No, only tea.”
If Santa made love to a pickle, what would they call their baby?
Claussen.
Are there any funny red wine puns at BabaMail Jokes?
You bet Shiraz there are!
If you leave alphabet soup on the stove and leave, it could spell disaster.
Why did the man lose his job in a fruit packing firm? He kept throwing the bent bananas away.
Why is the strawberry loved dearly by everyone? Because it is berry sweet.
What do strawberries wear to bed?
Jammies!
How do you make an apple puff? Chase it round the garden.
How can you tell that a blondes been baking chocolate chip cookies? Theres M&M shells all over the floor.
What did the hurricane say to the coconut palm tree? Hold on to your nuts, this is no ordinary blow job!
The strawberry was scared of the cream. They were afraid it had gone bad.
What did an angry donut say to his wife?
Donut talk to me.
What kind of cheese do rodents like? Mousearella.
How long does it take to brew Chinese tea? Oolong time.
National Herbs and Spices Day is celebrated annually on June 10.
Yesterday I went to the store for only 2 items, a rising crust pizza and a strawberry cake. Fortunately they were relatively light, so bringing it home was a pizza cake!
What did mamma orange say to little orange after he spilled his milk? It’s no big peel!
Last night I dreamt I was swimming in a sea of oranges. I guess it was just a Fanta-sea!
This Halloween I'm gourd out of my mind!
Why do milking stools only have three legs? The cows keep the udder safe.
Why was the baker in a serious panic? He thought that he was in a loaf or death situation.
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