Pumpkin Spice season is finally here, better latte than never.
Vegans really have a beef with meat.
Why do potatoes make good detectives? Because they keep their eyes peeled.
What do you call an oriental cheese? Parm-asian
What do you call a small Subaru car covered in road salt?
An Impretzel!
Where's the best place to get information about eggs?
The hen-cyclopedia.
What did the hurricane say to the coconut palm tree? Hold on to your nuts, this is no ordinary blow job!
Did you hear about the lemons that got sick?
They got lime disease.
A protestor threw a bunch of spices on Jason "Pink" London, but all it did was leave him "Saged and Confused".
What's the difference between a head of lettuce and a unicorn?
One is a funny beast, and the other is a bunny feast!
Which actor is now being quarantined for Swine Flu? Kevin Bacon
How does bread woo a lover?
With lots of flours.
What kind of nuts come in cans?
Creamed a-corn.
What did the mom cheese tell the little boy cheese when he got hurt on his bike?
“Gotta take the gouda with the bad.”
The old and wise onion had once told me that life is similar to onions. Whenever we peel off our protective layers, we end up crying.
I saw a fruit running from the police recently
It was a water felon.
What do you get if you cross a pumpkin with a bigfoot?
A Sasquash.
Why was the sweet potato too shy to ask out the russet potato? Because he was a real spud.
Wine puns. They're always in pour taste.
how do you convince meat juice out of a bovine?
You consomme out of him.
Egg puns are the most egg-citing.
Why did a can of nuts win the part in the Christmas pageant? Because they were the best nut-tavity actors.
How did Reese eat her soup? Witherspoon.
What does a cherry say when it delivers bad news? Don't fruit the messenger.The Peach President lost the presidential race because he got im-peached.
The bag of flour was so confused.He thought that he saw his friend the loaf yeast-erday.
In the corn maze, I felt like I was being stalked. It was earie.
What do you call a rifle that shoots salt?
A salt rifle.
What do bread kids say during hide-and-seek?
Bready or not, here I crumb!
My best friend said we're like two peas in a pod. I'm confused, there's only one P in pod.
What does a mommy cherry say to her children? I love you cherry much.
I love having dinner in a local restaurant. It has a soup-erb speciality that mixes soup and herbs.
How do you keep bacon from curling in the pan?
You take away their little brooms
Once I got peas stuck in my ear. I had to make people re-pea-t themselves.
My business that sells strawberry juice has gone into liquidation
What do you call a fruit riding a motorcycle?
“An Orange County Chopper.”
"Giving you more reasons to wine."
You knead me in your loaf. This one kind of works, but loaf is just a little too different from life.
Why did the ice cream truck break down?
There was a rocky road.
A lemon got a job in a vinegar factory last week...
Starting salary was $15 per sour.
My wife asked me why I bought a pear tree.
I told her "what, you told me to grow a pear."
After I show a peach the way, it says: “I really ap-peach-iate your help!”
A scarecrow's favorite fruit to eat is straw-berry.
What does a meditating egg say?
Ohmmmmmmmlet.
The soup was busy and preoccupied. He was stewing over something his friend said.
An immature pineapple is often worse than a mature currant.
In my friend's house, I saw an onion ring. So, I picked it up and answered it.
I squeezed the innards of a pumpkin into a glass, and the result was just beautiful
In fact, it was gourdjuice.
Milk aliens have landed. They said 'take me to your litre'.
What’s the best thing you can put in a halloween cookie? Your teeth.
Why did the burglar break into the bakery?
Because he heard the cakes were rich.
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