Who tells the best egg jokes?
Comedi-hens.
You don't know jack-o-lantern
How do monkeys get down the stairs? They slide down the banana-ster!
I tried calling my fruit friend thrice, but could not peach him, as his phone was out of peach.
Swallowing a cherry stone is not the end of the world. It’s just one of life’s little pitfalls.
What was the ice cream cone’s naughty pick up line?
Wanna lick me?
What did one cherry say to the other cherry? If you weren't so tasty we wouldn't be in this jam.
What do you call Chewbacca with chocolate stuck in its fur?
chocolate chip wookiee.
The veggie lover was a total stalk-er.
What's red and has 7 dents in it?
Snow white's cherry!
How did the hipster burn his tongue? He drank his coffee before it was cool.
Where do connoisseurs lock up their best bottles?
In a wine cabernet.
What do teachers drink at school? Facul-Tea.
What do they serve at birthday parties in heaven?
Angel food cake, of course!
Many people have a mythical belief about soup. It is called soup–erstition.
What's the difference between black eyed peas and chickpeas?
Black eyed peas can sing a tune, chickpeas can only hummus one.
What do you call a melon that commits a crime?
“A water-fellon!”
What has 100 teeth and eats wieners? A zipper!
Did you hear about the crime family that took over the wine importing business?
They call themselves the Sip-ranos!
One day a apple saw a banana without its peel. The apple asked banana, where is your peel? He replied, people are always taking off my clothes.
Some people say popcorn is hard to chew. There’s a kernel of truth to that.
What’s the best thing you can put in a halloween cookie? Your teeth.
What did the Mexican heavy metal guitarist say to his bandmates?
“Rock out with your guac out.”
What do you call a dinosaur that drinks curry? A Mega-sore-arse.
Did you hear that the diet clinic was doing great business? They say that it’d really take your breadth away.
In the middle of the night yesterday, I dreamt that I was swimming in a sea of oranges only to wake up and realize that it was just a Fanta-sea.
The difference between popcorn and pea soup, is that you can pop corn, but you can't pea soup.
When the baby onion was misbehaving, the father onion told it, "You better behave, you cheeky chops!"
Why was the burger sad after losing the race? Because the hotdog was the weiner.
Someone told me I looked like a salt shaker. I took it as a condiment.
After I show a peach the way, it says: “I really ap-peach-iate your help!”
How do you make an apple puff? Chase it round the garden.
What kind of keys does a kid skeleton use on Halloween? Cook-keys.
What do you sing to cows on their birthdays?
Happy birthday to moo…
What happened after the conifer fell in love at the orchard? A pineapple tree.
What type of nut do you find in the toilet?
A pee-nut.
I asked my nectarine friend how she was doing after her break up and she said 'It's the pits, man.'
Be careful! Theres a deadly fruit on the loose
He has 7 charges of armed Strawbbery.
The United Nations gave its members a basket of peaches on 21 September - the International Peach Day.
What did the nectarine say after the church service? The peacher gave a great sermon!
What did the cornfield say when it heard rain coming?
That’s music to my ears!
Michelle Obama’s favorite vegetable? Barack-oli.
Eating no meat except fish is really bothersome.
I should stop being a Pesky-tarian.
Unlike peaches, nectarines don't have any fuzz, because they suffer from Alo-peach-ea.
Strawberries are considered to be the most bullied fruits because they're always getting picked on.
What did the boy bacon say to the girl bacon? Girl, you're bacon my heart melt.
What do get when you cross a chili pepper, steam shovel, and a Chihuahua? Hot, diggety dog.
"Love the wine you're with."
Why didn't the kids eat their soup? Because they're stew peed.
What is the easiest way to make a banana split? Cut it in half.
Go to BabaMail
