What wisdom did the daddy cheese pass down to his son?
A curd in the hand is worth two in the bush.
What did one cheese say to the other during philosophy class?
“I dis a brie.”
Who were the first cheese lovers ever?
Edam and Eve.
What kind of cheese do alcoholics eat?
Livarot.
What is a cheese lover’s favorite Village People song?
Nacho Man.
What did the aged cheddar say when his mom told him he couldn’t see a movie that was rated R?
“I’m mature for my age.”
How does a cheese tell you they want to be with you?
“I think you and I would look gouda together.”
How do you know it’s getting kind of serious with a cheese lover?
They tell you they are pretty fondue you.
What does a cheese say when you ask him to share a secret?
He cantal.
When shouldn't you believe a word your cheese is saying? When it's too Gouda to be true.
Why doesn't cheddar like to party with crackers? Someone always cuts the cheese.
Which is the most religious cheese? Swiss, because it is holy.
What did the commedian say after after a bad set?
That crowd was laughtose intolerant.
What do you call it when a cheese goes #2?
Fondue-due.
What is a lions favourite cheese? Roar-quefort
What cheese should you use to hide a horse? Mascarpone.
Did you hear about the cheese lover who took his girlfriend for granted?
How dairy.
What is a cheese lover’s favorite track and field event?
The curdles.
What do you call a socialite made of cheese?
Paris Stilton.
What is a cheese’s favorite kind of philosophy?
Epistemology and fetaphysics.
What kind of cheese do rodents like? Mousearella.
What did the cheese say when it looked in the mirror ? Halloumi (Hello me)
Did you hear about the cheese shop that was destroyed by a tornado?
All that’s left is da brie.
What is a cheese lover’s favorite type of music?
R n’ Brie.
How did the cheese professor start class every day?
Oh queso…
What cheese is made backwards?
Edam.
Do you want to hear a pizza joke? Never mind it's too cheesy.
What did one cheddar cheese say to the other cheddar cheese at prom?
Looking sharp!
Why should you always bring a bag of tortilla chips to a party?
In queso emergency.
Did you hear about the cheese failed to medal at the olympics? It fell at the final curdle
What did the mom cheese tell the little boy cheese when he got hurt on his bike?
“Gotta take the gouda with the bad.”
Why did the parmesan swipe left on the cheddar?
His pick-up line was too cheesey.
What does a piece of cheese tell you during a game of tag?
Cheez it.
What is a cheese lover’s favorite rap artist?
Feta wap.
What is Tom Hanks' favourite soft cheese? Philadelphia.
What do you feed the son of god? Cheeses of Nazareth.
What covers the floor of the motzarella forest?
Cheese sticks.
What kind of cheese makes the best music?
Brieoncé.
What do you call an oriental cheese? Parm-asian
What hotel do cheese lover’s stay in?
The Stilton.
What do you call a grilled cheese sandwich that's all up in your face? Too close for comfort food.
What do you call a piece of cheese that likes to shoot hoops? Swiss!
What do you call a cheese that is an alcoholic? Livarot
What is a lions favourite cheese? Roar-quefort.
Saw a great offer on cheese in Tesco today!
It was buy one get one brie.
What do you tell a cheese going through a hard time?
Ricotta get through this.
What Welsh cheese must you always eat with caution? Caerphilly
What did one cheese tell the other cheese on Valentine’s day?
Brie mine.
When do they smother a burrito in cheese? In best queso scenario.
What drives cheese crazy?
That everyone around them is crackers.
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