What do you feed the son of god? Cheeses of Nazareth.
What drives cheese crazy?
That everyone around them is crackers.
What’s a good way to start a conversation with a cheese plate on Tinder?
“Hello. Is it brie you’re looking for?”
What does a real cheese freak say when they come to your door?
“I’d like to talk to you about Cheesus.”
Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded? De-brie went everywhere!
What did the cheese say to the other cheese? I smell something swiss-picious!
What do you call cheese that is sad? Blue cheese.
What does a lady in a mall do with a cheesey credit card? Go on a shopping brie.
What does a cheese like to drink after a long day?
Morbier.
What is Tom Hanks' favourite soft cheese? Philadelphia.
What is a cheese’s favorite kind of philosophy?
Epistemology and fetaphysics.
What activity should you do when you’re babysitting little cheeses?
Build a roquefort.
Did you hear about the cheese shop that was destroyed by a tornado?
All that’s left is da brie.
What do you call it when a cheese goes #2?
Fondue-due.
What kind of cheese do rodents like? Mousearella.
What pickup line can you use to pick up a cheese lover?
“Are you cheddar? ‘Cause you’re lookin’ sharp!”
What did one cheese say to the other during philosophy class?
“I dis a brie.”
Did you hear about the cheese failed to medal at the olympics? It fell at the final curdle
What does a piece of cheese tell you during a game of tag?
Cheez it.
Which search engine is popular amongst mice? Ask Cheese.
What cheese do beavers like? eDam
Why did the cheese get in trouble?
It was up to no gouda.
How do you get a mouse to smile?
Say cheese.
Why couldn’t the cheese sleep?
He was scared there was a munster under the bed.
Why did the wheel act so bossy? Cause he was the "Big Cheese."
How did the cheese professor start class every day?
Oh queso…
Whats the best cheese to coax a bear down a mountain? Camembert (Come On Bear)
What happened after an explosion at a French cheese factory? All that was left was de brie.
What does a cheese say when they look in the mirror in the morning?
Halloumi.
Which is the most religious cheese? Swiss, because it is holy.
Why was the cheese asked to leave the restaurant?
The cook said “we don’t serve your rind here”.
What do cheese makers dance to on halloween? The muenster mash!
What is a cheese lover’s favorite Village People song?
Nacho Man.
Why should you always bring a bag of tortilla chips to a party?
In queso emergency.
What kind of cheese protects a castle?
Moat-zarella.
What do you call a cheese that is an alcoholic? Livarot
Did you hear what happened when the decorator painted his wife with cheese? He double Gloucester!
What did Shakespeare say as he was making a cheese plate?
To brie or not to brie.
What do you call cheese that is acting crazy? A basket queso.
What is a lions favourite cheese? Roar-quefort.
What does a cheese say when you ask him to share a secret?
He cantal.
Do you want to hear a pizza joke? Never mind it's too cheesy.
Saw a great offer on cheese in Tesco today!
It was buy one get one brie.
Did you hear about the guy who opened up a store where they only sell Swiss cheese?
It’s a hole business strategy.
What group of cheese has been known to fly? Curds of prey!
What did mutter say to paneer? Tu cheese badi hai mast mast.
Why doesn’t anyone like to hang out with crackers?
Someone always cuts the cheese.
How do you know it’s getting kind of serious with a cheese lover?
They tell you they are pretty fondue you.
How does the Cheese Detective choose his clients?
On a queso by queso basis.
What did the commedian say after after a bad set?
That crowd was laughtose intolerant.
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