Why did the parmesan swipe left on the cheddar?
His pick-up line was too cheesey.
What cheese should you use to hide a horse? Mascarpone.
How does the Cheese Detective choose his clients?
On a queso by queso basis.
What cheese cries the most?
Babybel.
Why didn’t the chef slice his cheese?
He had grater plans.
Did you hear about the guy who opened up a store where they only sell Swiss cheese?
It’s a hole business strategy.
How do you share a piece of cheese with a bear?
Caerphilly.
Why did the cheese shop owner finally quit the business?
He was tired of the daily rind.
What’s a good way to start a conversation with a cheese plate on Tinder?
“Hello. Is it brie you’re looking for?”
Saw a great offer on cheese in Tesco today!
It was buy one get one brie.
Why didn’t I believe what the cheese salesman told me?
It was too gouda to be true.
Why doesn’t anyone like to hang out with crackers?
Someone always cuts the cheese.
What does a real cheese freak say when they come to your door?
“I’d like to talk to you about Cheesus.”
Who were the first cheese lovers ever?
Edam and Eve.
What is a cheese’s favorite kind of philosophy?
Epistemology and fetaphysics.
What did mutter say to paneer? Tu cheese badi hai mast mast.
What is a cheese lover’s favorite type of music?
R n’ Brie.
What did Shakespeare say as he was making a cheese plate?
To brie or not to brie.
What is a cheese lover’s favorite Village People song?
Nacho Man.
What do you get when you cross a goblin and cheese? Muenster cheese.
How do you get a mouse to smile?
Say cheese.
Why did the cheese lover hide cheese in the back of his fridge?
In queso emergency.
What do you call cheese who attends art openings?
Cultured.
What is Tom Hanks' favourite soft cheese? Philadelphia.
Why doesn't cheddar like to party with crackers? Someone always cuts the cheese.
What did the cheese say when it looked in the mirror ? Halloumi (Hello me)
How do you get a mouse to smile? Say cheese!
Why did the cheese get in trouble?
It was up to no gouda.
What did the street cheese say after he got attacked by several blades? I've felt grater.
What do you tell your friend after she breaks up with a cheese lover?
You’re cheddar off without him!
What wisdom did the daddy cheese pass down to his son?
A curd in the hand is worth two in the bush.
What's the most popular American cheese sitcom? Curd Your Enthusiasm
What does a lady in a mall do with a cheesey credit card? Go on a shopping brie.
What hotel do cheese lover’s stay in?
The Stilton.
How did the cheese get such curly hair?
It got a permasan.
What do they say when you leave the cheese store?
Have a gouda day!
What happened after an explosion at a French cheese factory? All that was left was de brie.
What covers the floor of the motzarella forest?
Cheese sticks.
Where should you call if you find a bad cheese shop?
The feta business bureau.
What cheese do beavers like? eDam
What does a cheese say when you ask him to share a secret?
He cantal.
Why couldn’t the cheese sleep?
He was scared there was a munster under the bed.
What do you feed the son of god? Cheeses of Nazareth.
When shouldn't you believe a word your cheese is saying? When it's too Gouda to be true.
What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho Cheese!
Why does cheese look normal? Because everyone else on the plate is crackers.
What kind of cheese makes the best music?
Brieoncé.
What is a cheese lover’s favorite rap artist?
Feta wap.
Which search engine is popular amongst mice? Ask Cheese.
What did one cheese tell the other cheese on Valentine’s day?
Brie mine.
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