Did you hear about the guy who forgot to use the colander when making mac and cheese?
His wife gave him a restraining order.
Do you want to hear a pizza joke? Never mind it's too cheesy.
Why did the cheese get in trouble?
It was up to no gouda.
What did the cheese say after escaping the mouse? I'm Brieeee!
What did the grilled cheese sandwich say to their date?
“You make me melt.”
What does a cheese say when you ask him to share a secret?
He cantal.
What do you call referential cheese?
Feta.
What group of cheese has been known to fly? Curds of prey!
Why did the wheel act so bossy? Cause he was the "Big Cheese."
What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho Cheese!
What did one cheese say to the other during philosophy class?
“I dis a brie.”
What do you get when you cross a smurf and a cow?
Blue cheese.
What happens when you go on an all-cheese diet?
You cheddar few pounds.
What do you feed the son of god? Cheeses of Nazareth.
What did Shakespeare say as he was making a cheese plate?
To brie or not to brie.
Who were the first cheese lovers ever?
Edam and Eve.
What kind of cheese makes the best music?
Brieoncé.
What is a basketball players favorite kind of cheese? Swish cheese!
What did the commedian say after after a bad set?
That crowd was laughtose intolerant.
Why didn’t I believe what the cheese salesman told me?
It was too gouda to be true.
What is Tom Hanks' favourite soft cheese? Philadelphia.
Did you hear about the guy who had an addiction to cheddar cheese?
It was only mild.
What were the cheese’s wedding vows?
To havarti and to hold.
What do you call a socialite made of cheese?
Paris Stilton.
What do you call an oriental cheese? Parm-asian
What do you call cheese that is sad? Blue cheese.
What do you get when you cross a goblin and cheese? Muenster cheese.
How do you know it’s getting kind of serious with a cheese lover?
They tell you they are pretty fondue you.
Whats the best cheese to coax a bear down a mountain? Camembert (Come On Bear)
What kind of cheese do alcoholics eat?
Livarot.
What did the aged cheddar say when his mom told him he couldn’t see a movie that was rated R?
“I’m mature for my age.”
What does a real cheese freak say when they come to your door?
“I’d like to talk to you about Cheesus.”
Why couldn’t the cheese sleep?
He was scared there was a munster under the bed.
Why did the parmesan swipe left on the cheddar?
His pick-up line was too cheesey.
When should you go on a cheese diet? If you need to cheddar a few pounds
What is a lion’s favorite cheese?
Roarquefort.
What is a lions favourite cheese? Roar-quefort.
What do cheese makers dance to on halloween? The muenster mash!
What did the Cheese salesman say? That cheese may be Gouda, but this one is Feta!
What did the cheese call himself after he got dumped?
Forever provolone.
Did you hear what happened when the decorator painted his wife with cheese? He double Gloucester!
What did mutter say to paneer? Tu cheese badi hai mast mast.
Did you hear about the cheese lover who took his girlfriend for granted?
How dairy.
What was the cheese’s strategy when it ran for president?
Make America grate again.
When do they smother a burrito in cheese? In best queso scenario.
What pickup line can you use to pick up a cheese lover?
“Are you cheddar? ‘Cause you’re lookin’ sharp!”
What is the name of the country near Iraq that is made entirely of cheese? Curd-istan
What kind of cheese do rodents like? Mousearella.
What cheese is made backwards?
Edam.
Saw a great offer on cheese in Tesco today!
It was buy one get one brie.
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