What is a cheese lover’s favorite type of music?
R n’ Brie.
What did the blind man say after being handed a cheese grater? "That's the most violent book I've ever read."
Did you hear about the guy who had an addiction to cheddar cheese?
It was only mild.
What did the commedian say after after a bad set?
That crowd was laughtose intolerant.
What did the cheese say to the other cheese? I smell something swiss-picious!
What do you call cheese who attends art openings?
Cultured.
What kind of cheese do alcoholics eat?
Livarot.
What is a cannibal’s favorite cheese?
Limb-burger.
What is a pirate’s favorite cheese?
Ched-arrrrgh!
Do you want to hear a pizza joke? Never mind it's too cheesy.
How do you share a piece of cheese with a bear?
Caerphilly.
Why didn’t I believe what the cheese salesman told me?
It was too gouda to be true.
Did you hear about the cheese shop that was destroyed by a tornado?
All that’s left is da brie.
When should you go on a cheese diet? If you need to cheddar a few pounds
What’s a good way to start a conversation with a cheese plate on Tinder?
“Hello. Is it brie you’re looking for?”
Why does cheese look normal? Because everyone else on the plate is crackers.
Why was the cheese asked to leave the restaurant?
The cook said “we don’t serve your rind here”.
What were the cheese’s wedding vows?
To havarti and to hold.
What did the grilled cheese sandwich say to their date?
“You make me melt.”
How do you get a mouse to smile? Say cheese!
Where should you call if you find a bad cheese shop?
The feta business bureau.
What did the aged cheddar say when his mom told him he couldn’t see a movie that was rated R?
“I’m mature for my age.”
What did the cheese say when it looked in the mirror ? Halloumi (Hello me)
What cheese do beavers like? eDam
What do you tell a cheese going through a hard time?
Ricotta get through this.
What group of cheese has been known to fly? Curds of prey!
What cheese surrounds a medieval castle? Moatzeralla
What wisdom did the daddy cheese pass down to his son?
A curd in the hand is worth two in the bush.
What kind of cheese protects a castle?
Moat-zarella.
What does a piece of cheese tell you during a game of tag?
Cheez it.
What do you call cheese that is acting crazy? A basket queso.
What is Tom Hanks' favourite soft cheese? Philadelphia.
What is a lions favourite cheese? Roar-quefort.
What is the name of the country near Iraq that is made entirely of cheese? Curd-istan
What cheese is made backwards?
Edam.
When shouldn't you believe a word your cheese is saying? When it's too Gouda to be true.
What pickup line can you use to pick up a cheese lover?
“Are you cheddar? ‘Cause you’re lookin’ sharp!”
What did the cheese say after escaping the mouse? I'm Brieeee!
How do you know it’s getting kind of serious with a cheese lover?
They tell you they are pretty fondue you.
Why does the Pope love Swiss cheese so much?
It’s hole-y.
What did the street cheese say after he got attacked by several blades? I've felt grater.
What did the mom cheese tell the little boy cheese when he got hurt on his bike?
“Gotta take the gouda with the bad.”
Why do cheeses make bad musicians?
They’re always sharp.
What is a cheese lover’s favorite rap artist?
Feta wap.
Which is the most religious cheese? Swiss, because it is holy.
Did you hear about the cheese failed to medal at the olympics? It fell at the final curdle
What is a lion’s favorite cheese?
Roarquefort.
What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho Cheese!
What do you call a flying cheese?
A curd of prey.
What did the Cheese salesman say? That cheese may be Gouda, but this one is Feta!