Did you hear about the guy who forgot to use the colander when making mac and cheese?
His wife gave him a restraining order.
What do you call an oriental cheese? Parm-asian
What cheese is made backwards?
Edam.
What kind of cheese do rodents like? Mousearella.
Why doesn't cheddar like to party with crackers? Someone always cuts the cheese.
What hotel do cheese lover’s stay in?
The Stilton.
Whats the best cheese to coax a bear down a mountain? Camembert (Come On Bear)
Why couldn’t the cheese sleep?
He was scared there was a munster under the bed.
How does a cheese tell you they want to be with you?
“I think you and I would look gouda together.”
Which search engine is popular amongst mice? Ask Cheese.
What Welsh cheese must you always eat with caution? Caerphilly
What does a piece of cheese tell you during a game of tag?
Cheez it.
What did the cheese say when it looked in the mirror ? Halloumi (Hello me)
What is a lions favourite cheese? Roar-quefort
How do you know when a cheese is full of himself?
Whatever you say, he’ll say he is feta.
What do you call referential cheese?
Feta.
What does a lady in a mall do with a cheesey credit card? Go on a shopping brie.
What is a lion’s favorite cheese?
Roarquefort.
What is a lions favourite cheese? Roar-quefort.
What happens when you go on an all-cheese diet?
You cheddar few pounds.
What did the mom cheese tell the little boy cheese when he got hurt on his bike?
“Gotta take the gouda with the bad.”
What activity should you do when you’re babysitting little cheeses?
Build a roquefort.
Why does cheese look normal? Because everyone else on the plate is crackers.
What did Shakespeare say as he was making a cheese plate?
To brie or not to brie.
What pickup line can you use to pick up a cheese lover?
“Are you cheddar? ‘Cause you’re lookin’ sharp!”
What were the cheese’s wedding vows?
To havarti and to hold.
Why did the parmesan swipe left on the cheddar?
His pick-up line was too cheesey.
What do you call a flying cheese?
A curd of prey.
Did you hear about the cheese failed to medal at the olympics? It fell at the final curdle
What does a cheese say when they look in the mirror in the morning?
Halloumi.
Why did the cheese lover hide cheese in the back of his fridge?
In queso emergency.
What's the most popular American cheese sitcom? Curd Your Enthusiasm
Did you hear what happened when the decorator painted his wife with cheese? He double Gloucester!
What do you call cheese that is sad? Blue cheese.
What do they say when you leave the cheese store?
Have a gouda day!
Why does the Pope love Swiss cheese so much?
It’s hole-y.
Why did the cheese shop owner finally quit the business?
He was tired of the daily rind.
Did you hear what happened to the cheese after its breakup?
It got provolonely.
What cheese cries the most?
Babybel.
Do you want to hear a pizza joke? Never mind it's too cheesy.
What do you feed the son of god? Cheeses of Nazareth.
What did the blind man say after being handed a cheese grater? "That's the most violent book I've ever read."
What do you call cheese that is acting crazy? A basket queso.
What covers the floor of the motzarella forest?
Cheese sticks.
Did you hear about the guy who had an addiction to cheddar cheese?
It was only mild.
What’s a good way to start a conversation with a cheese plate on Tinder?
“Hello. Is it brie you’re looking for?”
Who were the first cheese lovers ever?
Edam and Eve.
How does the Cheese Detective choose his clients?
On a queso by queso basis.
What wisdom did the daddy cheese pass down to his son?
A curd in the hand is worth two in the bush.
What did one cheese tell the other cheese on Valentine’s day?
Brie mine.
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