Did you hear about the guy who forgot to use the colander when making mac and cheese?
His wife gave him a restraining order.
What hotel do cheese lover’s stay in?
The Stilton.
How do you get a mouse to smile? Say cheese!
How do you share a piece of cheese with a bear?
Caerphilly.
Why does the Pope love Swiss cheese so much?
It’s hole-y.
What do cheese makers dance to on halloween? The muenster mash!
What did the cheese call himself after he got dumped?
Forever provolone.
What group of cheese has been known to fly? Curds of prey!
When shouldn't you believe a word your cheese is saying? When it's too Gouda to be true.
Do you want to hear a pizza joke? Never mind it's too cheesy.
What do you call it when a cheese goes #2?
Fondue-due.
What do you call cheese who attends art openings?
Cultured.
How did the cheese get such curly hair?
It got a permasan.
What do you call an oriental cheese? Parm-asian
What do you call cheese that is sad? Blue cheese.
Saw a great offer on cheese in Tesco today!
It was buy one get one brie.
What did one cheese say to the other during philosophy class?
“I dis a brie.”
How does a cheese tell you they want to be with you?
“I think you and I would look gouda together.”
What's the most popular American cheese sitcom? Curd Your Enthusiasm
What wisdom did the daddy cheese pass down to his son?
A curd in the hand is worth two in the bush.
What cheese is made backwards?
Edam.
What kind of cheese do alcoholics eat?
Livarot.
Why did the parmesan swipe left on the cheddar?
His pick-up line was too cheesey.
What did the cheese say to the other cheese? I smell something swiss-picious!
What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho Cheese!
Which is the Richest Cheese in the world? Paris Stilton.
What do you feed the son of god? Cheeses of Nazareth.
What do you tell your friend after she breaks up with a cheese lover?
You’re cheddar off without him!
What’s a good way to start a conversation with a cheese plate on Tinder?
“Hello. Is it brie you’re looking for?”
What is Tom Hanks' favourite soft cheese? Philadelphia.
Did you hear about the cheese failed to medal at the olympics? It fell at the final curdle
When should you go on a cheese diet? If you need to cheddar a few pounds
What is a pirate’s favorite cheese?
Ched-arrrrgh!
Why does cheese look normal? Because everyone else on the plate is crackers.
What kind of cheese do rodents like? Mousearella.
What is the name of the country near Iraq that is made entirely of cheese? Curd-istan
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