Why was the white wine's off-beat pun so boo-ed?
Because it was too corky.
"It's wine o'clock."
What type of wine is notorious for making you drowsy?
Sauvign-yawn blanc!
.
I’m not old. I’m aged to perfection. And full bodied.
"Another glass? Wine not?!"
Which sports team do wine lovers always root for?
The Reds!
Why does your grandma like wine so much?
Because at her age, she needs glasses!
The problem with collecting wine is that you always end up getting screwed.
Which type of wine only comes in a box?
Carbordeaux.
You’re wine in a million.
What kind of wine do traffic cops like best?
Fine wine!
Where do connoisseurs lock up their best bottles?
In a wine cabernet.
"Chardonnay or should I go?"
"Time to wine down."
What should you do with an old inventory of fine French wine?
Liquidate it to the highest bidder.
"Adulting makes me wine."
Why did Mrs. Wine Grape run away from home?
She was tired of raisin a family.
Why do we enjoy wine jokes?
Because they're de-vine!
"Alcohol you later."
"You're the wine that I want."
Party Host: Would you like to try some mulled wine?
Party Guest: I'll have to think it over...
"Rosé all day."
"I mead more wine."
"Say you'll be wine."
"Oh, sweet child of wine."
"Giving you more reasons to wine."
"I need to re-wine my life."
Oh no! My wine glass is empty. Somebody call Wine-One-One!
"Will you accept this rosé?"
I hear you like wine, too. Grape minds think alike.
There’s a hair in my wine. The grapes must have been fur-mented.
What do sailors drink when they gather at a tavern to commiserate?
Port whine!
"Back that glass up."
Do librarians like white wine?
No, they like theirs well red!
Wine if you must. It’s not good to bottle up your emotions.
Gluten-free, dairy-free, fat-free – I love this new Champagne Diet!
Fine Wine Pick-Up Line: Hey babe, what are you doing this fall? 'Cause I'd like to make you part of the season's harvest.
Wino Woe: Forgive me, for I have zinned!
"Here for the right riesling."
What do you call the guy who chooses a suitable fortified Spanish wine?
A Sherry Picker.
"Read between the wines."