"I'm not a wino. I'm a wineYES!"
"Great minds drink alike."
"Everything happens for a riesling, right?"
Which type of wine do horses request most often?
Chardon-neigh.
Fine Wine Pick-Up Line: Hey babe, what are you doing this fall? 'Cause I'd like to make you part of the season's harvest.
Wine puns. They're always in pour taste.
"Adulting makes me wine."
Why was the white wine's off-beat pun so boo-ed?
Because it was too corky.
"Alcohol you later."
What is a terrorist's preferred kind of wine?
White Infidel.
You’re wine in a million.
Somehow they knew I wanted champagne. It was chilling.
Some people like beer goggles. I prefer wine glasses.
"I mead more wine."
"Here for the right riesling."
"Love the wine you're with."
How does cabernet like to travel abroad?
On a cruise sip.
Why did Wonder Woman rescue the Wine?
Because that's what grape lady superheroes do!
Why did Mrs. Wine Grape run away from home?
She was tired of raisin a family.
Don’t hang around booze hounds. They’re wine-y bitches.
What does a cat lady say on Friday night?
I am drinking wine and feline fine!
What kind of wine is aged to purr-fection?
Mos-cat-o!
My wife hates it when I mess with her red wine. I added fruit and orange juice, and now she sangria than ever!
"You're the wine that I want."
"You had me at merlot."
The problem with collecting wine is that you always end up getting screwed.
"Rosé all day."
How can you tell a wine taster is a newbie?
By the blanc look on her face.
Whenever I feel like wining, I remind myself to put a cork in it.
What time do ladies drink wine?
At Wine O'Clock.
Which type of wine only comes in a box?
Carbordeaux.
Gluten-free, dairy-free, fat-free – I love this new Champagne Diet!
Why do wine lovers guzzle down vine humor?
Because wine jokes are a barrel of laughs.
"My day just went from super to sip-erb, real quick."
Like a pro wrestler in a headlock, I’m indulging in a little Sham pain.
"I need to re-wine my life."
What kind of wine do they serve at the horse races?
Chardon-neigh!
Do librarians like white wine?
No, they like theirs well red!
What type of wine is notorious for making you drowsy?
Sauvign-yawn blanc!
Which mammal absolutely loves Merlot and Cabernet?
The Wineoceros.
What should you do with an old inventory of fine French wine?
Liquidate it to the highest bidder.
Wino Woe: Forgive me, for I have zinned!
Did you hear about the crime family that took over the wine importing business?
They call themselves the Sip-ranos!
"Will you accept this rosé?"
"Stop and smell the rosé."
"Another glass? Wine not?!"
"It isn't good to keep things bottled up."
"You can't sip with us."
"Giving you more reasons to wine."
"Is that a yay or cabernet?"
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