Oh no! My wine glass is empty. Somebody call Wine-One-One!
Why did the wine connoisseur insist on drinking from an old tire?
He heard it was a Goodyear!
What does a cat lady say on Friday night?
I am drinking wine and feline fine!
Which sports team do wine lovers always root for?
The Reds!
Which type of wine do horses request most often?
Chardon-neigh.
How does cabernet like to travel abroad?
On a cruise sip.
I like my wine sweet and my humor dry.
Why do we enjoy wine jokes?
Because they're de-vine!
"Cabernet. More like, caber-yay!"
Did you hear about the crime family that took over the wine importing business?
They call themselves the Sip-ranos!
"Will you accept this rosé?"
Why did Wonder Woman rescue the Wine?
Because that's what grape lady superheroes do!
What do sailors drink when they gather at a tavern to commiserate?
Port whine!
Why does your grandma like wine so much?
Because at her age, she needs glasses!
Where does wine catch up on all the vineyard dirt?
Through the grapevine.
Some people like beer goggles. I prefer wine glasses.
"You are so bottlefull to me."
"You had me at merlot."
"My day just went from super to sip-erb, real quick."
Which mammal absolutely loves Merlot and Cabernet?
The Wineoceros.
Why did Mrs. Wine Grape run away from home?
She was tired of raisin a family.
"Back that glass up."
Wine puns. They're always in pour taste.
"Time to wine down."
Why do winos love cheap wine puns?
Because wine snobs hate them!
"You can't sip with us."
"Be kind, re-wine."
Why do we love wine puns?
Because they're grape!
Do librarians like white wine?
No, they like theirs well red!
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I’m not old. I’m aged to perfection. And full bodied.
You’re wine in a million.
"Sip happens."
"I need to re-wine my life."
"Oh, sweet child of wine."
"Adulting makes me wine."
"Wine a little, laugh a lot."
"Let's get fizzical. Pass the prosecco."
"Everything happens for a riesling, right?"
My wife hates it when I mess with her red wine. I added fruit and orange juice, and now she sangria than ever!
"Great minds drink alike."
"On cloud wine."
Wino Woe: Forgive me, for I have zinned!
What is a terrorist's preferred kind of wine?
White Infidel.
There’s a hair in my wine. The grapes must have been fur-mented.
Why do wine lovers guzzle down vine humor?
Because wine jokes are a barrel of laughs.
"I'm not a wino. I'm a wineYES!"
Why have a mer little when you can have a merlot?
My doctor said I need to change my diet. He said I should eat more more caviar and drink more champagne. So, I said, "That's insane! What kind of a diet is that?" He replied, "It's called a High Fluten Diet."
Are there any funny red wine puns at BabaMail Jokes?
You bet Shiraz there are!
Why was the white wine's off-beat pun so boo-ed?
Because it was too corky.
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