Where does wine catch up on all the vineyard dirt?
Through the grapevine.
"Love the wine you're with."
What do you call the guy who chooses a suitable fortified Spanish wine?
A Sherry Picker.
"Everything happens for a riesling, right?"
Vine Thought of the Day: Choosy moms choose wine!
Are there any funny red wine puns at BabaMail Jokes?
You bet Shiraz there are!
Why have a mer little when you can have a merlot?
"Here for the right riesling."
Why did the wine connoisseur insist on drinking from an old tire?
He heard it was a Goodyear!
"Alcohol you later."
Oh no! My wine glass is empty. Somebody call Wine-One-One!
Don’t ask me why I love wine. I have my rieslings.
"Let's get fizzical. Pass the prosecco."
My wife hates it when I mess with her red wine. I added fruit and orange juice, and now she sangria than ever!
"Read between the wines."
Somehow they knew I wanted champagne. It was chilling.
Why did Wonder Woman rescue the Wine?
Because that's what grape lady superheroes do!
What happened when a clumsy sommelier tried to decant a bottle of fine wine?
Things went pour-ably wrong.
"Be kind, re-wine."
The problem with collecting wine is that you always end up getting screwed.
Do librarians like white wine?
No, they like theirs well red!
"Stop and smell the rosé."
Wine puns. They're always in pour taste.
"It isn't good to keep things bottled up."
"Great minds drink alike."
Did you hear about the little grape who didn’t want to be made into wine?
Unfortunately, he was pressed into service!
What kind of wine do traffic cops like best?
Fine wine!
Which type of wine do horses request most often?
Chardon-neigh.
"You are so bottlefull to me."
"Sip, sip hooray."
Whenever I feel like wining, I remind myself to put a cork in it.
Why did Mrs. Wine Grape run away from home?
She was tired of raisin a family.
"You can't sip with us."
"Sip happens."
"You had me at merlot."
My doctor said I need to change my diet. He said I should eat more more caviar and drink more champagne. So, I said, "That's insane! What kind of a diet is that?" He replied, "It's called a High Fluten Diet."
Fine Wine Pick-Up Line: Hey babe, what are you doing this fall? 'Cause I'd like to make you part of the season's harvest.
How did the vineyard launch the new champagne making business?
They crashed a small boat into it.
"Adulting makes me wine."
What kind of wine is aged to purr-fection?
Mos-cat-o!
What kind of wine do they serve at the horse races?
Chardon-neigh!
Wine if you must. It’s not good to bottle up your emotions.
"My day just went from super to sip-erb, real quick."
What type of wine is notorious for making you drowsy?
Sauvign-yawn blanc!
How does cabernet like to travel abroad?
On a cruise sip.
"Oh, sweet child of wine."
"It's wine o'clock."
Wine Lovers Rhyme: A friend of wine is a friend of mine!
Don’t hang around booze hounds. They’re wine-y bitches.
"Partners in wine."