Why have less scato when you can have mo’ scato?
My doctor said I need to change my diet. He said I should eat more more caviar and drink more champagne. So, I said, "That's insane! What kind of a diet is that?" He replied, "It's called a High Fluten Diet."
Party Host: Would you like to try some mulled wine?
Party Guest: I'll have to think it over...
Why did the wine connoisseur insist on drinking from an old tire?
He heard it was a Goodyear!
There’s a hair in my wine. The grapes must have been fur-mented.
"It's wine o'clock."
"You can't sip with us."
Which type of wine only comes in a box?
Carbordeaux.
Happy Hour is at wine o’ clock
"You had me at merlot."
"Is that a yay or cabernet?"
"No wine left behind."
"Partners in wine."
Where do connoisseurs lock up their best bottles?
In a wine cabernet.
"Love the wine you're with."
Whenever I feel like wining, I remind myself to put a cork in it.
Wine Connoisser Point to Ponder: Did Marilyn drink Merlot?
Why was the white wine's off-beat pun so boo-ed?
Because it was too corky.
Why do we enjoy wine jokes?
Because they're de-vine!
"Will you accept this rosé?"
"My day just went from super to sip-erb, real quick."
Are there any funny red wine puns at BabaMail Jokes?
You bet Shiraz there are!
What kind of wine do they serve at the horse races?
Chardon-neigh!
"Giving you more reasons to wine."
I like my wine sweet and my humor dry.
Why do we love wine puns?
Because they're grape!
What kind of wine is aged to purr-fection?
Mos-cat-o!
"Oh, sweet child of wine."
Somehow they knew I wanted champagne. It was chilling.
"Sip happens."
Like a pro wrestler in a headlock, I’m indulging in a little Sham pain.
"I make pour decisions."
How did the vineyard launch the new champagne making business?
They crashed a small boat into it.
"Here for the right riesling."
What does a cat lady say on Friday night?
I am drinking wine and feline fine!
"Rosé all day."
Why do winos love cheap wine puns?
Because wine snobs hate them!
What do sailors drink when they gather at a tavern to commiserate?
Port whine!
Gluten-free, dairy-free, fat-free – I love this new Champagne Diet!
Wine Lovers Rhyme: A friend of wine is a friend of mine!
"Chardonnay or should I go?"
I hear you like wine, too. Grape minds think alike.
How does cabernet like to travel abroad?
On a cruise sip.
"Hakuna Moscato. It means drink wine."
"You are so bottlefull to me."
Don’t hang around booze hounds. They’re wine-y bitches.
"Everything happens for a riesling, right?"
Fine Wine Pick-Up Line: Hey babe, what are you doing this fall? 'Cause I'd like to make you part of the season's harvest.
Wine puns. They're always in pour taste.
"Say you'll be wine."
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