The problem with collecting wine is that you always end up getting screwed.
Where do connoisseurs lock up their best bottles?
In a wine cabernet.
"Time to wine down."
"Oh, sweet child of wine."
Did you hear about the crime family that took over the wine importing business?
They call themselves the Sip-ranos!
Happy Hour is at wine o’ clock
Wine puns. They're always in pour taste.
"Back that glass up."
Which type of wine only comes in a box?
Carbordeaux.
This kind of wine does not go right through you. Trust me, you will pee no noir.
"Wine a little, laugh a lot."
"Read between the wines."
"Be kind, re-wine."
Why did Wonder Woman rescue the Wine?
Because that's what grape lady superheroes do!
Vine Thought of the Day: Choosy moms choose wine!
Like a pro wrestler in a headlock, I’m indulging in a little Sham pain.
Why did the wine connoisseur insist on drinking from an old tire?
He heard it was a Goodyear!
"Cabernet. More like, caber-yay!"
Why do wine lovers guzzle down vine humor?
Because wine jokes are a barrel of laughs.
"Is that a yay or cabernet?"
"Sip happens."
"No wine left behind."
What do sailors drink when they gather at a tavern to commiserate?
Port whine!
There’s a hair in my wine. The grapes must have been fur-mented.
"You can't sip with us."
"You are so bottlefull to me."
Why do winos love cheap wine puns?
Because wine snobs hate them!
"It's wine o'clock."
Did you hear about the little grape who didn’t want to be made into wine?
Unfortunately, he was pressed into service!
Some people like beer goggles. I prefer wine glasses.
Wine Lovers Rhyme: A friend of wine is a friend of mine!
"Great minds drink alike."
Wine if you must. It’s not good to bottle up your emotions.
"Will you accept this rosé?"
"I make pour decisions."
Which sports team do wine lovers always root for?
The Reds!
Why was the white wine's off-beat pun so boo-ed?
Because it was too corky.
What time do ladies drink wine?
At Wine O'Clock.
"I'm not a wino. I'm a wineYES!"
"I mead more wine."
What type of wine is notorious for making you drowsy?
Sauvign-yawn blanc!
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I’m not old. I’m aged to perfection. And full bodied.
I hear you like wine, too. Grape minds think alike.
Fine Wine Pick-Up Line: Hey babe, what are you doing this fall? 'Cause I'd like to make you part of the season's harvest.
Where does wine catch up on all the vineyard dirt?
Through the grapevine.
Wine Connoisser Point to Ponder: Did Marilyn drink Merlot?
Don’t ask me why I love wine. I have my rieslings.
"Partners in wine."
What kind of wine do traffic cops like best?
Fine wine!
"Another glass? Wine not?!"
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