"Great minds drink alike."
Which type of wine do horses request most often?
Chardon-neigh.
What does a cat lady say on Friday night?
I am drinking wine and feline fine!
Why does your grandma like wine so much?
Because at her age, she needs glasses!
Don’t ask me why I love wine. I have my rieslings.
"Sip, sip hooray."
Where does wine catch up on all the vineyard dirt?
Through the grapevine.
"Partners in wine."
Wine if you must. It’s not good to bottle up your emotions.
"Time to wine down."
Which sports team do wine lovers always root for?
The Reds!
Gluten-free, dairy-free, fat-free – I love this new Champagne Diet!
Fine Wine Pick-Up Line: Hey babe, what are you doing this fall? 'Cause I'd like to make you part of the season's harvest.
Why do wine lovers guzzle down vine humor?
Because wine jokes are a barrel of laughs.
"Adulting makes me wine."
"Stop and smell the rosé."
Did you hear about the crime family that took over the wine importing business?
They call themselves the Sip-ranos!
Why do we enjoy wine jokes?
Because they're de-vine!
Why was the white wine's off-beat pun so boo-ed?
Because it was too corky.
How did the vineyard launch the new champagne making business?
They crashed a small boat into it.
"It's wine o'clock."
Wino Woe: Forgive me, for I have zinned!
Wine puns. They're always in pour taste.
"Read between the wines."
"Love the wine you're with."
Party Host: Would you like to try some mulled wine?
Party Guest: I'll have to think it over...
"Sip happens."
Don’t hang around booze hounds. They’re wine-y bitches.
"You can't sip with us."
"You're the wine that I want."
What type of wine is notorious for making you drowsy?
Sauvign-yawn blanc!
Do librarians like white wine?
No, they like theirs well red!
Happy Hour is at wine o’ clock
I like my wine sweet and my humor dry.
Remember to stop and smell the rosé.
Did you hear about the little grape who didn’t want to be made into wine?
Unfortunately, he was pressed into service!
"Back that glass up."
"Alcohol you later."
"Hakuna Moscato. It means drink wine."
"Say you'll be wine."
My wife hates it when I mess with her red wine. I added fruit and orange juice, and now she sangria than ever!
Vine Thought of the Day: Choosy moms choose wine!
Why did Wonder Woman rescue the Wine?
Because that's what grape lady superheroes do!
"Let's get fizzical. Pass the prosecco."
How does cabernet like to travel abroad?
On a cruise sip.
Why do winos love cheap wine puns?
Because wine snobs hate them!
The problem with collecting wine is that you always end up getting screwed.
What do you call the guy who chooses a suitable fortified Spanish wine?
A Sherry Picker.
"Be kind, re-wine."
How can you tell a wine taster is a newbie?
By the blanc look on her face.
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