My mum makes peas for every meal. I'm sick of her reci-peas.
I almost got a world record for having the most peas up my nose but sadly I blew it.
I sat on some peas in the car. It was a bumpea ride.
"I'll be right back, I need to go for a pea," said the fruit during the interval.
If you want to ask someone to borrow their peas, you have to say pea-lease.
What do you get with surprise peas?
Wet legs
"Can I get some peas and quiet?!" shouted the pea dad angrily.
My dad tried to put peas into an orange once. It didn't appeal to me.
No one understands me when i say I like to paint peas in a cage.
I don’t what is so hard about it. I’m a trapped peas artist.
I hate lentils but I love peas. They're more ap-peas-ing to my pealate.
I like fried chickpeas, but I shouldn't eat them. Every time I do I falafel.
I asked the pianist if he could play the Chick Pea Song.
He said, "Maybe. Can you hummus a few bars?'
Q: Why did peas jump out of an airplane?
A: They wanted to be air pods.
Did you hear about the audio drama about peas?
It’s a pod-cast
I just finished the Mona Lisa made from vegetables. It's a masterpeas.
Q: How do you make a blueberry?
A: You strangle a pea.
Q: What do vegetables wish for, more than anything else in the whole world?
A: Peas on earth!
What do you call chick peas in a cavern?
Humus Sapiens
I know a pea that's a famous singer. He's a VIP.
I had a traumatic experience with peas. I even had to go to thera-pea.
Lots of peas work as spies. Espea-onage is very common.
Did you know that humans started out as peas? That's why we're called homosa-pea-ns.
My mum made a chocolate bar out of peas. I asked if she could snap a peas off for me.
My wife won't let me become a bean farmer. Why won't she just let me work in peas!
My best friend said we're like two peas in a pod. I'm confused, there's only one P in pod.
Peas excuse how bad this pun is.
I found my son sleeping in a pile of peas. May he rest in peas.
I lost one pea from my plate at dinner the other day. It was an escape-pea.
I went to an English camping party with some vegetables. We stayed in a tea-pea.
Q: Why did the pea sell his car?
A: The back seat didn’t have enough legume.
You make me hap-pea, we're like two peas in a pod.
I've written a book about a very grumpy British pea farmer, it's called "Mind your peas and queues."
What's the difference between black eyed peas and chickpeas?
Black eyed peas can sing a tune, chickpeas can only hummus one.
What do you find when you swallow peas whole?
Inner peas
Q: Did you hear about the pea that changed careers?
A: He went into a different field!
To catch a polar bear you surround a hole in the ice with peas
Then, when he goes to take a pea you kick him in the ice hole.
What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
Anybody can roast beef!
I told my dad I wanted world peace. He said whirled peas sounded horrible.
Hap-pea-ness is when you and your friend are like two peas in a pod.
Q: What do you call an angry pea?
A: Grum-pea!
Sometimes a pea starts acting like a diva. We call them a pea-Madonna.
Q: Why do peas dislike noisy eaters?
A: Because they want peas and quiet.
What did Mrs. Pea say to his wife after she refused to listen to her? "I don't care, just do as you peas."
What's the motto of vegetables? Don't worry, pea happy.