My sister's trying to get famous. She'll never make it, she's just a wanna-pea.
I know a pea that's a famous singer. He's a VIP.
Did you hear about the pea pod that became damaged?
It had to wear a pod cast.
Q: Why were the two green pea plants so close?
A: They had deep roots.
Me and my sister used to be like peas in a pod, but recently she's become too snap-pea.
What is the charge for beating someone with a bottle of olive oil and a can of chick peas ?
Attempted Hummus-ide.
Did you hear about the audio drama about peas?
It’s a pod-cast
My dad tried to put peas into an orange once. It didn't appeal to me.
What do you call chick peas in a cavern?
Humus Sapiens
My mum made a chocolate bar out of peas. I asked if she could snap a peas off for me.
Hundreds of chickpeas were found dead the other day. The police say it's a hummuside.
I sat on some peas in the car. It was a bumpea ride.
I like fried chickpeas, but I shouldn't eat them. Every time I do I falafel.
I told my dad I wanted world peace. He said whirled peas sounded horrible.
What's the difference between black eyed peas and chickpeas?
Black eyed peas can sing a tune, chickpeas can only hummus one.
I went to an English camping party with some vegetables. We stayed in a tea-pea.
Q: Why did the pea sell his car?
A: The back seat didn’t have enough legume.
There was an announcement on the news the other day, we've finally achieved world peas.
I hate lentils but I love peas. They're more ap-peas-ing to my pealate.
My mum makes peas for every meal. I'm sick of her reci-peas.
The chickpea wrote a book, but he didn't release it until after his death. He wanted to do it post-hummusly.
Q: How do you make a blueberry?
A: You strangle a pea.
I asked the pianist if he could play the Chick Pea Song.
He said, "Maybe. Can you hummus a few bars?'
Did you know that humans started out as peas? That's why we're called homosa-pea-ns.
I used to hate peas. I like them now, I just make sure I think of them as 'o's.'
Q: What made the green pea turn red?
A: It saw the salad dressing.
If you're in a food fight, always throw peas. We need to give peas a chance.
Vegetarians can't eat anything with beans in. They don't eat food with a pulse.
I just finished the Mona Lisa made from vegetables. It's a masterpeas.
Sometimes a pea starts acting like a diva. We call them a pea-Madonna.
What’s the difference between mashed potatoes and pea soup?
Anyone can mash potatoes.
Q: Why do peas dislike noisy eaters?
A: Because they want peas and quiet.
I've written a book about a very grumpy British pea farmer, it's called "Mind your peas and queues."
I almost got a world record for having the most peas up my nose but sadly I blew it.
What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
Anybody can roast beef!
I found my son sleeping in a pile of peas. May he rest in peas.
Lots of peas work as spies. Espea-onage is very common.
My best friend said we're like two peas in a pod. I'm confused, there's only one P in pod.
Q: What do you call an angry pea?
A: Grum-pea!
I went to see a beet poet the other day. There were lots of hip peas there.
You make me hap-pea, we're like two peas in a pod.
Q: Did you hear about the pea that changed careers?
A: He went into a different field!
I made a pie with a can of peas in. Pea-can pie. It didn't taste how I imagined.
What did Mrs. Pea say to his wife after she refused to listen to her? "I don't care, just do as you peas."
I stopped eating pea soup. I gave it up for lentil.
Peas excuse how bad this pun is.
"I'll be right back, I need to go for a pea," said the fruit during the interval.
Q: What do vegetables wish for, more than anything else in the whole world?
A: Peas on earth!
What's the motto of vegetables? Don't worry, pea happy.
Once I got peas stuck in my ear. I had to make people re-pea-t themselves.