You make me hap-pea, we're like two peas in a pod.
Q: How do you make a blueberry?
A: You strangle a pea.
To catch a polar bear you surround a hole in the ice with peas
Then, when he goes to take a pea you kick him in the ice hole.
What is the charge for beating someone with a bottle of olive oil and a can of chick peas ?
Attempted Hummus-ide.
I like to roll peas from the top of a mountain. I always start at the peak.
"Can I get some peas and quiet?!" shouted the pea dad angrily.
If you throw your peas in the sky you get air pods.
Hundreds of chickpeas were found dead the other day. The police say it's a hummuside.
My dad tried to put peas into an orange once. It didn't appeal to me.
Peas excuse how bad this pun is.
What do you call chick peas in a cavern?
Humus Sapiens
I made a pie with a can of peas in. Pea-can pie. It didn't taste how I imagined.
We're like three peas in a pod, but lately I feel left out. It's making me quite unhap-pea.
What's the motto of vegetables? Don't worry, pea happy.
Q: Why do peas dislike noisy eaters?
A: Because they want peas and quiet.
My wife won't let me become a bean farmer. Why won't she just let me work in peas!
Q: What do vegetables wish for, more than anything else in the whole world?
A: Peas on earth!
What did the pea dad say after a tiring day at work? "I'm desperate for some peas of mind."
Did you know that humans started out as peas? That's why we're called homosa-pea-ns.
I had a traumatic experience with peas. I even had to go to thera-pea.
If you're in a food fight, always throw peas. We need to give peas a chance.
I just finished the Mona Lisa made from vegetables. It's a masterpeas.
Q: What do you call an angry pea?
A: Grum-pea!
If you want to ask someone to borrow their peas, you have to say pea-lease.
Q: Why wouldn’t the teacher bring the class to the green pea farm?
A: It was in a seedy part of town.
Q: What made the green pea turn red?
A: It saw the salad dressing.
I almost got a world record for having the most peas up my nose but sadly I blew it.
I like fried chickpeas, but I shouldn't eat them. Every time I do I falafel.
Did you hear about the audio drama about peas?
It’s a pod-cast
I lost one pea from my plate at dinner the other day. It was an escape-pea.
Vegetarians can't eat anything with beans in. They don't eat food with a pulse.
What's the difference between black eyed peas and chickpeas?
Black eyed peas can sing a tune, chickpeas can only hummus one.
I stopped eating pea soup. I gave it up for lentil.
I sat on some peas in the car. It was a bumpea ride.
What do you call two peas in a pod?
Peepee
I used to hate peas. I like them now, I just make sure I think of them as 'o's.'
Q: What do you call two peas in a pod?
A: Peepee.
What did Mrs. Pea say to his wife after she refused to listen to her? "I don't care, just do as you peas."
I went to an English camping party with some vegetables. We stayed in a tea-pea.
I gave my toddler peas for the first time. He wasn't very hap-pea.
My sister's trying to get famous. She'll never make it, she's just a wanna-pea.
I went to see a beet poet the other day. There were lots of hip peas there.
No one understands me when i say I like to paint peas in a cage.
I don’t what is so hard about it. I’m a trapped peas artist.
My mum makes peas for every meal. I'm sick of her reci-peas.