Mr. Pea never did any work and yet always looked down on the other vegetables. He was a real peas of work.
I found my son sleeping in a pile of peas. May he rest in peas.
The chickpea wrote a book, but he didn't release it until after his death. He wanted to do it post-hummusly.
I told my dad I wanted world peace. He said whirled peas sounded horrible.
"I'll be right back, I need to go for a pea," said the fruit during the interval.
I stopped eating pea soup. I gave it up for lentil.
Me and my sister used to be like peas in a pod, but recently she's become too snap-pea.
I just finished the Mona Lisa made from vegetables. It's a masterpeas.
What is the charge for beating someone with a bottle of olive oil and a can of chick peas ?
Attempted Hummus-ide.
Q: What made the green pea turn red?
A: It saw the salad dressing.
I like to roll peas from the top of a mountain. I always start at the peak.
Sometimes a pea starts acting like a diva. We call them a pea-Madonna.
What do you find when you swallow peas whole?
Inner peas
Did you know that humans started out as peas? That's why we're called homosa-pea-ns.
My dad tried to put peas into an orange once. It didn't appeal to me.
Q: Why did the pea sell his car?
A: The back seat didn’t have enough legume.
What do you call chick peas in a cavern?
Humus Sapiens
My mum makes peas for every meal. I'm sick of her reci-peas.
Tonight my wife was making dinner and she was using some fresh peas. She dropped some on the floor.
My 4 year old said “mummy, you’ve pee’d on the floor”
Needless to say I was in stitches.
I asked the pianist if he could play the Chick Pea Song.
He said, "Maybe. Can you hummus a few bars?'
Lots of peas work as spies. Espea-onage is very common.
I had a traumatic experience with peas. I even had to go to thera-pea.
Q: What do vegetables wish for, more than anything else in the whole world?
A: Peas on earth!
What's the difference between black eyed peas and chickpeas?
Black eyed peas can sing a tune, chickpeas can only hummus one.
Once I got peas stuck in my ear. I had to make people re-pea-t themselves.
I almost got a world record for having the most peas up my nose but sadly I blew it.
I went to see a beet poet the other day. There were lots of hip peas there.
Vegetarians can't eat anything with beans in. They don't eat food with a pulse.
Q: Why were the two green pea plants so close?
A: They had deep roots.
Q: Why is a carrot orange and pointy?
A: Because if it was green and round, it would be a pea!
I made a pie with a can of peas in. Pea-can pie. It didn't taste how I imagined.
"Can I get some peas and quiet?!" shouted the pea dad angrily.
What did the pea dad say after a tiring day at work? "I'm desperate for some peas of mind."
I gave my toddler peas for the first time. He wasn't very hap-pea.
No one understands me when i say I like to paint peas in a cage.
I don’t what is so hard about it. I’m a trapped peas artist.
I know a pea that's a famous singer. He's a VIP.
Q: Why do peas dislike noisy eaters?
A: Because they want peas and quiet.
To catch a polar bear you surround a hole in the ice with peas
Then, when he goes to take a pea you kick him in the ice hole.
I hate lentils but I love peas. They're more ap-peas-ing to my pealate.
Did you hear about the audio drama about peas?
It’s a pod-cast
My best friend said we're like two peas in a pod. I'm confused, there's only one P in pod.
My wife won't let me become a bean farmer. Why won't she just let me work in peas!
Hap-pea-ness is when you and your friend are like two peas in a pod.
I lost one pea from my plate at dinner the other day. It was an escape-pea.
Go to BabaMail
