I had a traumatic experience with peas. I even had to go to thera-pea.
What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
Anybody can roast beef!
My mum made a chocolate bar out of peas. I asked if she could snap a peas off for me.
I found my son sleeping in a pile of peas. May he rest in peas.
Q: Why do peas dislike noisy eaters?
A: Because they want peas and quiet.
What’s the difference between mashed potatoes and pea soup?
Anyone can mash potatoes.
I like fried chickpeas, but I shouldn't eat them. Every time I do I falafel.
Q: Why wouldn’t the teacher bring the class to the green pea farm?
A: It was in a seedy part of town.
Q: What do vegetables wish for, more than anything else in the whole world?
A: Peas on earth!
Peas excuse how bad this pun is.
What do you call chick peas in a cavern?
Humus Sapiens
Hundreds of chickpeas were found dead the other day. The police say it's a hummuside.
To catch a polar bear you surround a hole in the ice with peas
Then, when he goes to take a pea you kick him in the ice hole.
Once I got peas stuck in my ear. I had to make people re-pea-t themselves.
Vegetarians can't eat anything with beans in. They don't eat food with a pulse.
I went to see a beet poet the other day. There were lots of hip peas there.
If you throw your peas in the sky you get air pods.
Did you hear about the audio drama about peas?
It’s a pod-cast
My wife won't let me become a bean farmer. Why won't she just let me work in peas!
Q: What do you call an angry pea?
A: Grum-pea!
"Can I get some peas and quiet?!" shouted the pea dad angrily.
No one understands me when i say I like to paint peas in a cage.
I don’t what is so hard about it. I’m a trapped peas artist.
If you want to ask someone to borrow their peas, you have to say pea-lease.
I sat on some peas in the car. It was a bumpea ride.
Q: What made the green pea turn red?
A: It saw the salad dressing.
I almost got a world record for having the most peas up my nose but sadly I blew it.
My best friend said we're like two peas in a pod. I'm confused, there's only one P in pod.
I told my dad I wanted world peace. He said whirled peas sounded horrible.
Q: How do you make a blueberry?
A: You strangle a pea.
Did you know that humans started out as peas? That's why we're called homosa-pea-ns.
Q: Why is a carrot orange and pointy?
A: Because if it was green and round, it would be a pea!
Q: What do you call two peas in a pod?
A: Peepee.
Sometimes a pea starts acting like a diva. We call them a pea-Madonna.
I stopped eating pea soup. I gave it up for lentil.
I lost one pea from my plate at dinner the other day. It was an escape-pea.
I know a pea that's a famous singer. He's a VIP.
"I'll be right back, I need to go for a pea," said the fruit during the interval.
I gave my toddler peas for the first time. He wasn't very hap-pea.
The chickpea wrote a book, but he didn't release it until after his death. He wanted to do it post-hummusly.
Q: Why did peas jump out of an airplane?
A: They wanted to be air pods.
I asked the pianist if he could play the Chick Pea Song.
He said, "Maybe. Can you hummus a few bars?'
I went to an English camping party with some vegetables. We stayed in a tea-pea.
What did the pea dad say after a tiring day at work? "I'm desperate for some peas of mind."
Tonight my wife was making dinner and she was using some fresh peas. She dropped some on the floor.
My 4 year old said “mummy, you’ve pee’d on the floor”
Needless to say I was in stitches.
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