What did Mrs. Pea say to his wife after she refused to listen to her? "I don't care, just do as you peas."
Mr. Pea never did any work and yet always looked down on the other vegetables. He was a real peas of work.
Some peas rolled off my plate, and one went far further than the rest. He was the cham-pea-on.
I hate lentils but I love peas. They're more ap-peas-ing to my pealate.
Tonight my wife was making dinner and she was using some fresh peas. She dropped some on the floor.
My 4 year old said “mummy, you’ve pee’d on the floor”
Needless to say I was in stitches.
I like fried chickpeas, but I shouldn't eat them. Every time I do I falafel.
Once I got peas stuck in my ear. I had to make people re-pea-t themselves.
What do you call two peas in a pod?
Peepee
Lots of peas work as spies. Espea-onage is very common.
I used to hate peas. I like them now, I just make sure I think of them as 'o's.'
I just finished the Mona Lisa made from vegetables. It's a masterpeas.
I've written a book about a very grumpy British pea farmer, it's called "Mind your peas and queues."
Hundreds of chickpeas were found dead the other day. The police say it's a hummuside.
"I'll be right back, I need to go for a pea," said the fruit during the interval.
I almost got a world record for having the most peas up my nose but sadly I blew it.
Vegetarians can't eat anything with beans in. They don't eat food with a pulse.
The chickpea wrote a book, but he didn't release it until after his death. He wanted to do it post-hummusly.
I made a pie with a can of peas in. Pea-can pie. It didn't taste how I imagined.
Me and my sister used to be like peas in a pod, but recently she's become too snap-pea.
"Can I get some peas and quiet?!" shouted the pea dad angrily.
Sometimes a pea starts acting like a diva. We call them a pea-Madonna.
We're like three peas in a pod, but lately I feel left out. It's making me quite unhap-pea.
What do you find when you swallow peas whole?
Inner peas
Q: Why did the pea sell his car?
A: The back seat didn’t have enough legume.
Peas excuse how bad this pun is.
Q: Why were the two green pea plants so close?
A: They had deep roots.
There was an announcement on the news the other day, we've finally achieved world peas.
I gave my toddler peas for the first time. He wasn't very hap-pea.
You make me hap-pea, we're like two peas in a pod.
What's the motto of vegetables? Don't worry, pea happy.
I sat on some peas in the car. It was a bumpea ride.
If you're in a food fight, always throw peas. We need to give peas a chance.
My mum makes peas for every meal. I'm sick of her reci-peas.
I had a traumatic experience with peas. I even had to go to thera-pea.
Q: Why is a carrot orange and pointy?
A: Because if it was green and round, it would be a pea!
If you want to ask someone to borrow their peas, you have to say pea-lease.
My dad tried to put peas into an orange once. It didn't appeal to me.
No one understands me when i say I like to paint peas in a cage.
I don’t what is so hard about it. I’m a trapped peas artist.
What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
Anybody can roast beef!
Q: Why did peas jump out of an airplane?
A: They wanted to be air pods.
Q: What do you call an angry pea?
A: Grum-pea!
Q: Did you hear about the pea that changed careers?
A: He went into a different field!
Q: Why do peas dislike noisy eaters?
A: Because they want peas and quiet.
What did the pea dad say after a tiring day at work? "I'm desperate for some peas of mind."
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