My best friend said we're like two peas in a pod. I'm confused, there's only one P in pod.
I went to see a beet poet the other day. There were lots of hip peas there.
My sister's trying to get famous. She'll never make it, she's just a wanna-pea.
Q: What made the green pea turn red?
A: It saw the salad dressing.
Q: Why did the pea sell his car?
A: The back seat didn’t have enough legume.
My mum makes peas for every meal. I'm sick of her reci-peas.
Q: What do vegetables wish for, more than anything else in the whole world?
A: Peas on earth!
I lost one pea from my plate at dinner the other day. It was an escape-pea.
I like fried chickpeas, but I shouldn't eat them. Every time I do I falafel.
I hate lentils but I love peas. They're more ap-peas-ing to my pealate.
If you throw your peas in the sky you get air pods.
What do you get with surprise peas?
Wet legs
Q: What do you call two peas in a pod?
A: Peepee.
What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
Anybody can roast beef!
"I'll be right back, I need to go for a pea," said the fruit during the interval.
Q: Why do peas dislike noisy eaters?
A: Because they want peas and quiet.
What's the difference between black eyed peas and chickpeas?
Black eyed peas can sing a tune, chickpeas can only hummus one.
I went to an English camping party with some vegetables. We stayed in a tea-pea.
Me and my sister used to be like peas in a pod, but recently she's become too snap-pea.
Q: Why is a carrot orange and pointy?
A: Because if it was green and round, it would be a pea!
My wife won't let me become a bean farmer. Why won't she just let me work in peas!
You make me hap-pea, we're like two peas in a pod.
Did you know that humans started out as peas? That's why we're called homosa-pea-ns.
I like to roll peas from the top of a mountain. I always start at the peak.
If you're in a food fight, always throw peas. We need to give peas a chance.
I asked the pianist if he could play the Chick Pea Song.
He said, "Maybe. Can you hummus a few bars?'
If you want to ask someone to borrow their peas, you have to say pea-lease.
What's the motto of vegetables? Don't worry, pea happy.
My dad tried to put peas into an orange once. It didn't appeal to me.
I gave my toddler peas for the first time. He wasn't very hap-pea.
Hap-pea-ness is when you and your friend are like two peas in a pod.
Lots of peas work as spies. Espea-onage is very common.
I almost got a world record for having the most peas up my nose but sadly I blew it.
My mum made a chocolate bar out of peas. I asked if she could snap a peas off for me.
I found my son sleeping in a pile of peas. May he rest in peas.
Mr. Pea never did any work and yet always looked down on the other vegetables. He was a real peas of work.
Q: Did you hear about the pea that changed careers?
A: He went into a different field!
I told my dad I wanted world peace. He said whirled peas sounded horrible.
Peas excuse how bad this pun is.
We're like three peas in a pod, but lately I feel left out. It's making me quite unhap-pea.
The chickpea wrote a book, but he didn't release it until after his death. He wanted to do it post-hummusly.
I had a traumatic experience with peas. I even had to go to thera-pea.
What did Mrs. Pea say to his wife after she refused to listen to her? "I don't care, just do as you peas."
What is the charge for beating someone with a bottle of olive oil and a can of chick peas ?
Attempted Hummus-ide.
No one understands me when i say I like to paint peas in a cage.
I don’t what is so hard about it. I’m a trapped peas artist.
I've written a book about a very grumpy British pea farmer, it's called "Mind your peas and queues."
Hundreds of chickpeas were found dead the other day. The police say it's a hummuside.
There was an announcement on the news the other day, we've finally achieved world peas.
Q: Why wouldn’t the teacher bring the class to the green pea farm?
A: It was in a seedy part of town.
Tonight my wife was making dinner and she was using some fresh peas. She dropped some on the floor.
My 4 year old said “mummy, you’ve pee’d on the floor”
Needless to say I was in stitches.
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