The difference between popcorn and pea soup, is that you can pop corn, but you can't pea soup.
What did Mrs. Pea say to his wife after she refused to listen to her? "I don't care, just do as you peas."
To catch a polar bear you surround a hole in the ice with peas
Then, when he goes to take a pea you kick him in the ice hole.
I found my son sleeping in a pile of peas. May he rest in peas.
What's the difference between black eyed peas and chickpeas?
Black eyed peas can sing a tune, chickpeas can only hummus one.
The chickpea wrote a book, but he didn't release it until after his death. He wanted to do it post-hummusly.
What did the pea dad say after a tiring day at work? "I'm desperate for some peas of mind."
What’s the difference between mashed potatoes and pea soup?
Anyone can mash potatoes.
I hate lentils but I love peas. They're more ap-peas-ing to my pealate.
I stopped eating pea soup. I gave it up for lentil.
Hundreds of chickpeas were found dead the other day. The police say it's a hummuside.
I lost one pea from my plate at dinner the other day. It was an escape-pea.
Q: Why did peas jump out of an airplane?
A: They wanted to be air pods.
Q: Why did the pea sell his car?
A: The back seat didn’t have enough legume.
If you throw your peas in the sky you get air pods.
I just finished the Mona Lisa made from vegetables. It's a masterpeas.
Lots of peas work as spies. Espea-onage is very common.
What is the charge for beating someone with a bottle of olive oil and a can of chick peas ?
Attempted Hummus-ide.
I like to roll peas from the top of a mountain. I always start at the peak.
Hap-pea-ness is when you and your friend are like two peas in a pod.
What do you call chick peas in a cavern?
Humus Sapiens
We're like three peas in a pod, but lately I feel left out. It's making me quite unhap-pea.
Q: Why do peas dislike noisy eaters?
A: Because they want peas and quiet.
I almost got a world record for having the most peas up my nose but sadly I blew it.
Sometimes a pea starts acting like a diva. We call them a pea-Madonna.
Q: Why is a carrot orange and pointy?
A: Because if it was green and round, it would be a pea!
What do you call two peas in a pod?
Peepee
I made a pie with a can of peas in. Pea-can pie. It didn't taste how I imagined.
Me and my sister used to be like peas in a pod, but recently she's become too snap-pea.
I went to an English camping party with some vegetables. We stayed in a tea-pea.
Once I got peas stuck in my ear. I had to make people re-pea-t themselves.
Some peas rolled off my plate, and one went far further than the rest. He was the cham-pea-on.
"Can I get some peas and quiet?!" shouted the pea dad angrily.
Q: What do vegetables wish for, more than anything else in the whole world?
A: Peas on earth!
Did you hear about the pea pod that became damaged?
It had to wear a pod cast.
My mum makes peas for every meal. I'm sick of her reci-peas.
I like fried chickpeas, but I shouldn't eat them. Every time I do I falafel.
Q: How do you make a blueberry?
A: You strangle a pea.
What's the motto of vegetables? Don't worry, pea happy.
I used to hate peas. I like them now, I just make sure I think of them as 'o's.'
My best friend said we're like two peas in a pod. I'm confused, there's only one P in pod.
I asked the pianist if he could play the Chick Pea Song.
He said, "Maybe. Can you hummus a few bars?'
Q: What do you call an angry pea?
A: Grum-pea!
What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
Anybody can roast beef!
I had a traumatic experience with peas. I even had to go to thera-pea.
My mum made a chocolate bar out of peas. I asked if she could snap a peas off for me.
I've written a book about a very grumpy British pea farmer, it's called "Mind your peas and queues."
Mr. Pea never did any work and yet always looked down on the other vegetables. He was a real peas of work.
I told my dad I wanted world peace. He said whirled peas sounded horrible.
No one understands me when i say I like to paint peas in a cage.
I don’t what is so hard about it. I’m a trapped peas artist.