What’s the difference between mashed potatoes and pea soup?
Anyone can mash potatoes.
Q: What do you call an angry pea?
A: Grum-pea!
What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
Anybody can roast beef!
I gave my toddler peas for the first time. He wasn't very hap-pea.
I went to see a beet poet the other day. There were lots of hip peas there.
Q: What do you call two peas in a pod?
A: Peepee.
What did Mrs. Pea say to his wife after she refused to listen to her? "I don't care, just do as you peas."
I went to an English camping party with some vegetables. We stayed in a tea-pea.
My wife won't let me become a bean farmer. Why won't she just let me work in peas!
What's the motto of vegetables? Don't worry, pea happy.
If you want to ask someone to borrow their peas, you have to say pea-lease.
Q: Why did peas jump out of an airplane?
A: They wanted to be air pods.
If you're in a food fight, always throw peas. We need to give peas a chance.
What is the charge for beating someone with a bottle of olive oil and a can of chick peas ?
Attempted Hummus-ide.
Vegetarians can't eat anything with beans in. They don't eat food with a pulse.
You make me hap-pea, we're like two peas in a pod.
My dad tried to put peas into an orange once. It didn't appeal to me.
I know a pea that's a famous singer. He's a VIP.
"I'll be right back, I need to go for a pea," said the fruit during the interval.
Q: What do vegetables wish for, more than anything else in the whole world?
A: Peas on earth!
Q: How do you make a blueberry?
A: You strangle a pea.
Tonight my wife was making dinner and she was using some fresh peas. She dropped some on the floor.
My 4 year old said “mummy, you’ve pee’d on the floor”
Needless to say I was in stitches.
I've written a book about a very grumpy British pea farmer, it's called "Mind your peas and queues."
I stopped eating pea soup. I gave it up for lentil.
What do you call chick peas in a cavern?
Humus Sapiens
Q: Why wouldn’t the teacher bring the class to the green pea farm?
A: It was in a seedy part of town.
"Can I get some peas and quiet?!" shouted the pea dad angrily.
Q: Why were the two green pea plants so close?
A: They had deep roots.
Hap-pea-ness is when you and your friend are like two peas in a pod.
Q: Why do peas dislike noisy eaters?
A: Because they want peas and quiet.
I lost one pea from my plate at dinner the other day. It was an escape-pea.
Q: Why did the pea sell his car?
A: The back seat didn’t have enough legume.
Did you hear about the pea pod that became damaged?
It had to wear a pod cast.
Q: Did you hear about the pea that changed careers?
A: He went into a different field!
What do you get with surprise peas?
Wet legs
Some peas rolled off my plate, and one went far further than the rest. He was the cham-pea-on.
I made a pie with a can of peas in. Pea-can pie. It didn't taste how I imagined.
Me and my sister used to be like peas in a pod, but recently she's become too snap-pea.
There was an announcement on the news the other day, we've finally achieved world peas.
Q: What made the green pea turn red?
A: It saw the salad dressing.
Sometimes a pea starts acting like a diva. We call them a pea-Madonna.
My best friend said we're like two peas in a pod. I'm confused, there's only one P in pod.
I told my dad I wanted world peace. He said whirled peas sounded horrible.
My sister's trying to get famous. She'll never make it, she's just a wanna-pea.
Once I got peas stuck in my ear. I had to make people re-pea-t themselves.
I hate lentils but I love peas. They're more ap-peas-ing to my pealate.
Did you know that humans started out as peas? That's why we're called homosa-pea-ns.
What's the difference between black eyed peas and chickpeas?
Black eyed peas can sing a tune, chickpeas can only hummus one.
Lots of peas work as spies. Espea-onage is very common.
No one understands me when i say I like to paint peas in a cage.
I don’t what is so hard about it. I’m a trapped peas artist.
Go to BabaMail
