Some peas rolled off my plate, and one went far further than the rest. He was the cham-pea-on.
There was an announcement on the news the other day, we've finally achieved world peas.
I've written a book about a very grumpy British pea farmer, it's called "Mind your peas and queues."
No one understands me when i say I like to paint peas in a cage.
I don’t what is so hard about it. I’m a trapped peas artist.
Q: How do you make a blueberry?
A: You strangle a pea.
You make me hap-pea, we're like two peas in a pod.
Q: Did you hear about the pea that changed careers?
A: He went into a different field!
I sat on some peas in the car. It was a bumpea ride.
My mum made a chocolate bar out of peas. I asked if she could snap a peas off for me.
The chickpea wrote a book, but he didn't release it until after his death. He wanted to do it post-hummusly.
I told my dad I wanted world peace. He said whirled peas sounded horrible.
I almost got a world record for having the most peas up my nose but sadly I blew it.
I stopped eating pea soup. I gave it up for lentil.
"I'll be right back, I need to go for a pea," said the fruit during the interval.
I went to see a beet poet the other day. There were lots of hip peas there.
I found my son sleeping in a pile of peas. May he rest in peas.
The difference between popcorn and pea soup, is that you can pop corn, but you can't pea soup.
Did you hear about the audio drama about peas?
It’s a pod-cast
Q: Why did the pea sell his car?
A: The back seat didn’t have enough legume.
What did Mrs. Pea say to his wife after she refused to listen to her? "I don't care, just do as you peas."
If you want to ask someone to borrow their peas, you have to say pea-lease.
Peas excuse how bad this pun is.
What is the charge for beating someone with a bottle of olive oil and a can of chick peas ?
Attempted Hummus-ide.
I asked the pianist if he could play the Chick Pea Song.
He said, "Maybe. Can you hummus a few bars?'
I hate lentils but I love peas. They're more ap-peas-ing to my pealate.
Me and my sister used to be like peas in a pod, but recently she's become too snap-pea.
"Can I get some peas and quiet?!" shouted the pea dad angrily.
I used to hate peas. I like them now, I just make sure I think of them as 'o's.'
Q: Why did peas jump out of an airplane?
A: They wanted to be air pods.
What do you find when you swallow peas whole?
Inner peas
Did you hear about the pea pod that became damaged?
It had to wear a pod cast.
My best friend said we're like two peas in a pod. I'm confused, there's only one P in pod.
Q: What do you call an angry pea?
A: Grum-pea!
My sister's trying to get famous. She'll never make it, she's just a wanna-pea.
Did you know that humans started out as peas? That's why we're called homosa-pea-ns.
To catch a polar bear you surround a hole in the ice with peas
Then, when he goes to take a pea you kick him in the ice hole.
Q: Why do peas dislike noisy eaters?
A: Because they want peas and quiet.
I had a traumatic experience with peas. I even had to go to thera-pea.
My dad tried to put peas into an orange once. It didn't appeal to me.
I like to roll peas from the top of a mountain. I always start at the peak.
I just finished the Mona Lisa made from vegetables. It's a masterpeas.
Lots of peas work as spies. Espea-onage is very common.
What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
Anybody can roast beef!
Q: What do vegetables wish for, more than anything else in the whole world?
A: Peas on earth!
Q: Why wouldn’t the teacher bring the class to the green pea farm?
A: It was in a seedy part of town.
Q: What do you call two peas in a pod?
A: Peepee.
What do you call two peas in a pod?
Peepee
What’s the difference between mashed potatoes and pea soup?
Anyone can mash potatoes.
I made a pie with a can of peas in. Pea-can pie. It didn't taste how I imagined.
My mum makes peas for every meal. I'm sick of her reci-peas.
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