If you're in a food fight, always throw peas. We need to give peas a chance.
What did the pea dad say after a tiring day at work? "I'm desperate for some peas of mind."
If you throw your peas in the sky you get air pods.
Did you know that humans started out as peas? That's why we're called homosa-pea-ns.
There was an announcement on the news the other day, we've finally achieved world peas.
Q: Why did the pea sell his car?
A: The back seat didn’t have enough legume.
Q: Why were the two green pea plants so close?
A: They had deep roots.
My sister's trying to get famous. She'll never make it, she's just a wanna-pea.
Mr. Pea never did any work and yet always looked down on the other vegetables. He was a real peas of work.
The chickpea wrote a book, but he didn't release it until after his death. He wanted to do it post-hummusly.
What's the difference between black eyed peas and chickpeas?
Black eyed peas can sing a tune, chickpeas can only hummus one.
What's the motto of vegetables? Don't worry, pea happy.
What do you call chick peas in a cavern?
Humus Sapiens
What do you find when you swallow peas whole?
Inner peas
You make me hap-pea, we're like two peas in a pod.
We're like three peas in a pod, but lately I feel left out. It's making me quite unhap-pea.
I like fried chickpeas, but I shouldn't eat them. Every time I do I falafel.
My wife won't let me become a bean farmer. Why won't she just let me work in peas!
I used to hate peas. I like them now, I just make sure I think of them as 'o's.'
Vegetarians can't eat anything with beans in. They don't eat food with a pulse.
Sometimes a pea starts acting like a diva. We call them a pea-Madonna.
Hap-pea-ness is when you and your friend are like two peas in a pod.
What is the charge for beating someone with a bottle of olive oil and a can of chick peas ?
Attempted Hummus-ide.
The difference between popcorn and pea soup, is that you can pop corn, but you can't pea soup.
What did Mrs. Pea say to his wife after she refused to listen to her? "I don't care, just do as you peas."
I know a pea that's a famous singer. He's a VIP.
Did you hear about the audio drama about peas?
It’s a pod-cast
Did you hear about the pea pod that became damaged?
It had to wear a pod cast.
Q: What do vegetables wish for, more than anything else in the whole world?
A: Peas on earth!
I found my son sleeping in a pile of peas. May he rest in peas.
Tonight my wife was making dinner and she was using some fresh peas. She dropped some on the floor.
My 4 year old said “mummy, you’ve pee’d on the floor”
Needless to say I was in stitches.
I went to an English camping party with some vegetables. We stayed in a tea-pea.
Q: Why is a carrot orange and pointy?
A: Because if it was green and round, it would be a pea!
Q: What do you call two peas in a pod?
A: Peepee.
Lots of peas work as spies. Espea-onage is very common.
I made a pie with a can of peas in. Pea-can pie. It didn't taste how I imagined.
I told my dad I wanted world peace. He said whirled peas sounded horrible.
I like to roll peas from the top of a mountain. I always start at the peak.
"I'll be right back, I need to go for a pea," said the fruit during the interval.
Once I got peas stuck in my ear. I had to make people re-pea-t themselves.
I almost got a world record for having the most peas up my nose but sadly I blew it.
To catch a polar bear you surround a hole in the ice with peas
Then, when he goes to take a pea you kick him in the ice hole.
I hate lentils but I love peas. They're more ap-peas-ing to my pealate.
What do you get with surprise peas?
Wet legs
I stopped eating pea soup. I gave it up for lentil.
What do you call two peas in a pod?
Peepee
Q: Why wouldn’t the teacher bring the class to the green pea farm?
A: It was in a seedy part of town.
Q: Why did peas jump out of an airplane?
A: They wanted to be air pods.
I gave my toddler peas for the first time. He wasn't very hap-pea.
"Can I get some peas and quiet?!" shouted the pea dad angrily.
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