I like to roll peas from the top of a mountain. I always start at the peak.
I like fried chickpeas, but I shouldn't eat them. Every time I do I falafel.
Q: What made the green pea turn red?
A: It saw the salad dressing.
I told my dad I wanted world peace. He said whirled peas sounded horrible.
Lots of peas work as spies. Espea-onage is very common.
Did you hear about the pea pod that became damaged?
It had to wear a pod cast.
I went to see a beet poet the other day. There were lots of hip peas there.
I used to hate peas. I like them now, I just make sure I think of them as 'o's.'
Peas excuse how bad this pun is.
Q: Why do peas dislike noisy eaters?
A: Because they want peas and quiet.
Vegetarians can't eat anything with beans in. They don't eat food with a pulse.
Tonight my wife was making dinner and she was using some fresh peas. She dropped some on the floor.
My 4 year old said “mummy, you’ve pee’d on the floor”
Needless to say I was in stitches.
I lost one pea from my plate at dinner the other day. It was an escape-pea.
What do you call chick peas in a cavern?
Humus Sapiens
I almost got a world record for having the most peas up my nose but sadly I blew it.
Sometimes a pea starts acting like a diva. We call them a pea-Madonna.
Some peas rolled off my plate, and one went far further than the rest. He was the cham-pea-on.
I asked the pianist if he could play the Chick Pea Song.
He said, "Maybe. Can you hummus a few bars?'
"Can I get some peas and quiet?!" shouted the pea dad angrily.
Hap-pea-ness is when you and your friend are like two peas in a pod.
What do you call two peas in a pod?
Peepee
What’s the difference between mashed potatoes and pea soup?
Anyone can mash potatoes.
I sat on some peas in the car. It was a bumpea ride.
My wife won't let me become a bean farmer. Why won't she just let me work in peas!
What do you get with surprise peas?
Wet legs
Q: Why did peas jump out of an airplane?
A: They wanted to be air pods.
There was an announcement on the news the other day, we've finally achieved world peas.
What do you find when you swallow peas whole?
Inner peas
Q: Why is a carrot orange and pointy?
A: Because if it was green and round, it would be a pea!
If you throw your peas in the sky you get air pods.
I know a pea that's a famous singer. He's a VIP.
If you're in a food fight, always throw peas. We need to give peas a chance.
What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
Anybody can roast beef!
Did you hear about the audio drama about peas?
It’s a pod-cast
I found my son sleeping in a pile of peas. May he rest in peas.
Q: Why wouldn’t the teacher bring the class to the green pea farm?
A: It was in a seedy part of town.
Once I got peas stuck in my ear. I had to make people re-pea-t themselves.
My mum made a chocolate bar out of peas. I asked if she could snap a peas off for me.
You make me hap-pea, we're like two peas in a pod.
I stopped eating pea soup. I gave it up for lentil.
If you want to ask someone to borrow their peas, you have to say pea-lease.
My best friend said we're like two peas in a pod. I'm confused, there's only one P in pod.
Q: What do you call an angry pea?
A: Grum-pea!
I went to an English camping party with some vegetables. We stayed in a tea-pea.
I had a traumatic experience with peas. I even had to go to thera-pea.
What's the difference between black eyed peas and chickpeas?
Black eyed peas can sing a tune, chickpeas can only hummus one.
No one understands me when i say I like to paint peas in a cage.
I don’t what is so hard about it. I’m a trapped peas artist.
Q: Why were the two green pea plants so close?
A: They had deep roots.
I made a pie with a can of peas in. Pea-can pie. It didn't taste how I imagined.
What is the charge for beating someone with a bottle of olive oil and a can of chick peas ?
Attempted Hummus-ide.
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