I gave my toddler peas for the first time. He wasn't very hap-pea.
Q: Why were the two green pea plants so close?
A: They had deep roots.
What do you find when you swallow peas whole?
Inner peas
I've written a book about a very grumpy British pea farmer, it's called "Mind your peas and queues."
My sister's trying to get famous. She'll never make it, she's just a wanna-pea.
Hap-pea-ness is when you and your friend are like two peas in a pod.
Q: What do you call two peas in a pod?
A: Peepee.
Q: How do you make a blueberry?
A: You strangle a pea.
Some peas rolled off my plate, and one went far further than the rest. He was the cham-pea-on.
Peas excuse how bad this pun is.
I stopped eating pea soup. I gave it up for lentil.
What did Mrs. Pea say to his wife after she refused to listen to her? "I don't care, just do as you peas."
I just finished the Mona Lisa made from vegetables. It's a masterpeas.
I asked the pianist if he could play the Chick Pea Song.
He said, "Maybe. Can you hummus a few bars?'
I went to see a beet poet the other day. There were lots of hip peas there.
I like fried chickpeas, but I shouldn't eat them. Every time I do I falafel.
I found my son sleeping in a pile of peas. May he rest in peas.
I sat on some peas in the car. It was a bumpea ride.
Did you hear about the pea pod that became damaged?
It had to wear a pod cast.
My mum makes peas for every meal. I'm sick of her reci-peas.
Sometimes a pea starts acting like a diva. We call them a pea-Madonna.
I went to an English camping party with some vegetables. We stayed in a tea-pea.
I like to roll peas from the top of a mountain. I always start at the peak.
What do you call chick peas in a cavern?
Humus Sapiens
Me and my sister used to be like peas in a pod, but recently she's become too snap-pea.
The chickpea wrote a book, but he didn't release it until after his death. He wanted to do it post-hummusly.
My best friend said we're like two peas in a pod. I'm confused, there's only one P in pod.
No one understands me when i say I like to paint peas in a cage.
I don’t what is so hard about it. I’m a trapped peas artist.
I told my dad I wanted world peace. He said whirled peas sounded horrible.
What do you get with surprise peas?
Wet legs
What do you call two peas in a pod?
Peepee
Q: What do vegetables wish for, more than anything else in the whole world?
A: Peas on earth!
"Can I get some peas and quiet?!" shouted the pea dad angrily.
I had a traumatic experience with peas. I even had to go to thera-pea.
What's the motto of vegetables? Don't worry, pea happy.
Mr. Pea never did any work and yet always looked down on the other vegetables. He was a real peas of work.
If you want to ask someone to borrow their peas, you have to say pea-lease.
My dad tried to put peas into an orange once. It didn't appeal to me.
Q: Why is a carrot orange and pointy?
A: Because if it was green and round, it would be a pea!
Q: Why did the pea sell his car?
A: The back seat didn’t have enough legume.
"I'll be right back, I need to go for a pea," said the fruit during the interval.
We're like three peas in a pod, but lately I feel left out. It's making me quite unhap-pea.
Q: Why do peas dislike noisy eaters?
A: Because they want peas and quiet.
The difference between popcorn and pea soup, is that you can pop corn, but you can't pea soup.
What is the charge for beating someone with a bottle of olive oil and a can of chick peas ?
Attempted Hummus-ide.
What's the difference between black eyed peas and chickpeas?
Black eyed peas can sing a tune, chickpeas can only hummus one.
Lots of peas work as spies. Espea-onage is very common.
Once I got peas stuck in my ear. I had to make people re-pea-t themselves.
Did you know that humans started out as peas? That's why we're called homosa-pea-ns.
Q: What do you call an angry pea?
A: Grum-pea!
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