What do you call chick peas in a cavern?
Humus Sapiens
Q: How do you make a blueberry?
A: You strangle a pea.
I like to roll peas from the top of a mountain. I always start at the peak.
I stopped eating pea soup. I gave it up for lentil.
We're like three peas in a pod, but lately I feel left out. It's making me quite unhap-pea.
Me and my sister used to be like peas in a pod, but recently she's become too snap-pea.
I found my son sleeping in a pile of peas. May he rest in peas.
Q: Why did the pea sell his car?
A: The back seat didn’t have enough legume.
I lost one pea from my plate at dinner the other day. It was an escape-pea.
What's the motto of vegetables? Don't worry, pea happy.
What do you call two peas in a pod?
Peepee
I like fried chickpeas, but I shouldn't eat them. Every time I do I falafel.
My dad tried to put peas into an orange once. It didn't appeal to me.
If you're in a food fight, always throw peas. We need to give peas a chance.
What’s the difference between mashed potatoes and pea soup?
Anyone can mash potatoes.
Hundreds of chickpeas were found dead the other day. The police say it's a hummuside.
Q: Why were the two green pea plants so close?
A: They had deep roots.
You make me hap-pea, we're like two peas in a pod.
I went to an English camping party with some vegetables. We stayed in a tea-pea.
Sometimes a pea starts acting like a diva. We call them a pea-Madonna.
I sat on some peas in the car. It was a bumpea ride.
Did you hear about the audio drama about peas?
It’s a pod-cast
Did you hear about the pea pod that became damaged?
It had to wear a pod cast.
Peas excuse how bad this pun is.
I gave my toddler peas for the first time. He wasn't very hap-pea.
I hate lentils but I love peas. They're more ap-peas-ing to my pealate.
If you throw your peas in the sky you get air pods.
Vegetarians can't eat anything with beans in. They don't eat food with a pulse.
My sister's trying to get famous. She'll never make it, she's just a wanna-pea.
Tonight my wife was making dinner and she was using some fresh peas. She dropped some on the floor.
My 4 year old said “mummy, you’ve pee’d on the floor”
Needless to say I was in stitches.
There was an announcement on the news the other day, we've finally achieved world peas.
I almost got a world record for having the most peas up my nose but sadly I blew it.
"Can I get some peas and quiet?!" shouted the pea dad angrily.
What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
Anybody can roast beef!
I made a pie with a can of peas in. Pea-can pie. It didn't taste how I imagined.
My mum makes peas for every meal. I'm sick of her reci-peas.
I asked the pianist if he could play the Chick Pea Song.
He said, "Maybe. Can you hummus a few bars?'
My mum made a chocolate bar out of peas. I asked if she could snap a peas off for me.
What did the pea dad say after a tiring day at work? "I'm desperate for some peas of mind."
Once I got peas stuck in my ear. I had to make people re-pea-t themselves.
What do you get with surprise peas?
Wet legs
Q: What do vegetables wish for, more than anything else in the whole world?
A: Peas on earth!
The chickpea wrote a book, but he didn't release it until after his death. He wanted to do it post-hummusly.
The difference between popcorn and pea soup, is that you can pop corn, but you can't pea soup.
I used to hate peas. I like them now, I just make sure I think of them as 'o's.'
Q: Why wouldn’t the teacher bring the class to the green pea farm?
A: It was in a seedy part of town.
To catch a polar bear you surround a hole in the ice with peas
Then, when he goes to take a pea you kick him in the ice hole.
I've written a book about a very grumpy British pea farmer, it's called "Mind your peas and queues."
My best friend said we're like two peas in a pod. I'm confused, there's only one P in pod.
Q: Why did peas jump out of an airplane?
A: They wanted to be air pods.
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