Hap-pea-ness is when you and your friend are like two peas in a pod.
I went to an English camping party with some vegetables. We stayed in a tea-pea.
Q: Why do peas dislike noisy eaters?
A: Because they want peas and quiet.
I told my dad I wanted world peace. He said whirled peas sounded horrible.
My mum makes peas for every meal. I'm sick of her reci-peas.
I've written a book about a very grumpy British pea farmer, it's called "Mind your peas and queues."
My best friend said we're like two peas in a pod. I'm confused, there's only one P in pod.
I used to hate peas. I like them now, I just make sure I think of them as 'o's.'
Q: Why is a carrot orange and pointy?
A: Because if it was green and round, it would be a pea!
Once I got peas stuck in my ear. I had to make people re-pea-t themselves.
Vegetarians can't eat anything with beans in. They don't eat food with a pulse.
To catch a polar bear you surround a hole in the ice with peas
Then, when he goes to take a pea you kick him in the ice hole.
Q: What do you call two peas in a pod?
A: Peepee.
My dad tried to put peas into an orange once. It didn't appeal to me.
Q: Why were the two green pea plants so close?
A: They had deep roots.
No one understands me when i say I like to paint peas in a cage.
I don’t what is so hard about it. I’m a trapped peas artist.
I made a pie with a can of peas in. Pea-can pie. It didn't taste how I imagined.
Q: Why wouldn’t the teacher bring the class to the green pea farm?
A: It was in a seedy part of town.
We're like three peas in a pod, but lately I feel left out. It's making me quite unhap-pea.
Hundreds of chickpeas were found dead the other day. The police say it's a hummuside.
My wife won't let me become a bean farmer. Why won't she just let me work in peas!
I stopped eating pea soup. I gave it up for lentil.
I just finished the Mona Lisa made from vegetables. It's a masterpeas.
I like to roll peas from the top of a mountain. I always start at the peak.
Tonight my wife was making dinner and she was using some fresh peas. She dropped some on the floor.
My 4 year old said “mummy, you’ve pee’d on the floor”
Needless to say I was in stitches.
What’s the difference between mashed potatoes and pea soup?
Anyone can mash potatoes.
What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
Anybody can roast beef!
What do you call chick peas in a cavern?
Humus Sapiens
I hate lentils but I love peas. They're more ap-peas-ing to my pealate.
If you want to ask someone to borrow their peas, you have to say pea-lease.
Mr. Pea never did any work and yet always looked down on the other vegetables. He was a real peas of work.
What is the charge for beating someone with a bottle of olive oil and a can of chick peas ?
Attempted Hummus-ide.
There was an announcement on the news the other day, we've finally achieved world peas.
Did you hear about the pea pod that became damaged?
It had to wear a pod cast.
What did the pea dad say after a tiring day at work? "I'm desperate for some peas of mind."
What do you find when you swallow peas whole?
Inner peas
I almost got a world record for having the most peas up my nose but sadly I blew it.
What's the difference between black eyed peas and chickpeas?
Black eyed peas can sing a tune, chickpeas can only hummus one.
Did you hear about the audio drama about peas?
It’s a pod-cast
My mum made a chocolate bar out of peas. I asked if she could snap a peas off for me.
The difference between popcorn and pea soup, is that you can pop corn, but you can't pea soup.
"I'll be right back, I need to go for a pea," said the fruit during the interval.
What did Mrs. Pea say to his wife after she refused to listen to her? "I don't care, just do as you peas."
Q: How do you make a blueberry?
A: You strangle a pea.
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