I figured out a way to chop onions without crying...
The trick is avoiding getting emotionally attached to the onion.
What do you get when you cross a bean and an onion?
Teargas.
What do you call one green onion that doesn't listen to anyone and is very naughty? It is called a rapscallion!
What do you call an onion that is very sick and has a high temperature? It is a boiling onion.
What do you call an onion that keeps on jumping up and down? You call it a spring onion!
I walked into the kitchen and saw my wife chopping onions which made me cry
Onions was a good dog
What did the two onions who were lovers say to each other before being separated? "Our love will forever go-nion on!"
Onions are great at being psychologists as they let people cry their hearts out in front of them.
I recently bought my grandson a vegetable-themed pogo stick exclusively made from spring onions.
At the bar mitzvah ceremony, the Jewish onion greeted his uncle by saying 'Shallot'.
An onion just told me a joke.
I don't know whether to laugh or cry.