What do you get when you put the number 3.14 in the middle of the onions? You get o-pi-nions!
My wife said that onions are the only vegetable that makes her cry
So I threw a pumpkin at her
How will the other onions remember the onion that died? It will be forever minced!
An onion just told me a joke.
I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
What happens when an onion burps at the most awkward time? It releases tear gas.
“Spring, salad, shallot, picked”, said a friend. He knows his onions.
What does an onion say when you are upset because of it one day? It says, "I am sorry that I made you cry!"
What is the greeting that Korean onions tell each other when they meet in the streets? They say 'Onion-Haseyo'.
As two onions were crossing the road, one of them was run over by a car. Upon being rushed to the hospital, the doctor informed the other onion, "I have some news that is going to make you cry!"
What do all the onions decide to do over unfair wages? They decide to form a labor onion.
What do you call an onion that is very sick and has a high temperature? It is a boiling onion.
Why does Mr. Potato Head have a mobile?
In case Mr. Onion rings.
Onions are unable to store water inside them because there is always a leek.
All the other vegetables have always felt very emotional whenever they are near the onion.
What is the similarity between my wallet and an onion? Whenever I open both of them, I cry.
What do you get when you cross a bean and an onion?
Teargas.
What do you call an onion monk who is present everywhere? Ommnion!
While cutting the onions, my eyes were leek-ing tears
I once saw an onion that had been preserved for ages. It was an Egyptian onion.
When I told my friend an onion pun, he started crying. I asked whether they were tears of happiness?
When the baby onion died just after being born, the doctors classified it as an o-neonatal death.
I walked into the kitchen and saw my wife chopping onions which made me cry
Onions was a good dog
One day on the highway, I saw a packet of onions and cheese walking down the road. When I offered them a lift, they declined by saying that they were 'Walkers'.
What is the name of the horse that a knight onion rides? They ride a scallion.
What was the event of the onion family getting back together called as? A family reonion.
On my farm, an entire lot of onions had some allergic reactions that broke out in chives!
My biology class was going on and on, and I was stuck in the middle of it. Well, you know, this is how it feels to be an on-i-on.
I was surprised at the number of onions needed for this dish- it calls for shallot of onions.
Whats the difference between onions and girls?
I cry when I cut up onions.
Last year, when I went to Texas, I met this very polite and gentle onion. Its name was the Texas supa-sweet onion.
What happened when the onion tried to cross the bridge guarded by Gandalf? Gandalf shouted, "You shallot pass this bridge!"
Onions have had a long process in the evolutionary chain. They have evolved into today's onions from onionderthals.
Where do you most often find onions having a drink? In the salad bar.
I don't know what happened, but the moment I brought the onion into the kitchen, everything got rejuvenated, and everything started feeling fresh! Guess this really is a spring onion.
How do you describe an onion which is in its early stages after birth? You say it is in its onion-ic period of its life.
My heart is like an onion...
I'm never getting a discount organ transplant again
Why did the farmer decide not to buy an extra phone? It was because he already had one for onion rings.
To which tier of fruits and vegetables do onions belong? They belong to the teary.
What do you call the onions which are small and yellow and very naughty? You call it a minonion!
What kind of chips do you eat in the bath?
Shower cream and onion.
I recently heard on the news that due to newly detected fungus infection in the onions, the government was recalling all the recent packages of the vegetables. Despite being a farmer, I had no tears to shed over this.
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