Onions are great gymnasts as they have the advantage of swinging on the onion rings.
What do you say happened to an onion who got what it deserved? You say it got karma-lized.
What is the onion that laughs a lot and is small and white in color? It is a tickled onion.
Although many other vegetables live above the ground, onions live underground. This is because they have many lairs.
What happens when an onion burps at the most awkward time? It releases tear gas.
My son ate daffodil bulbs instead of onions
But that's really serious! Is he in hospital?
Yes, he's still a bit yellow, but he should be coming out in the spring.
The old and wise onion had once told me that life is similar to onions. Whenever we peel off our protective layers, we end up crying.
Have you seen that film about the onion that turns into a spider?
It's called Shallot's Web
What do you get when you cross a bean and an onion?
Teargas.
In my friend's house, I saw an onion ring. So, I picked it up and answered it.
While cutting the onions, my eyes were leek-ing tears
When I proposed to my fiancee, she started crying. It must be because I proposed to her with an onion ring.
What do you call a hobbit who has bad breath? He is known as Lord of Onion Rings!
Last year, when I went to Texas, I met this very polite and gentle onion. Its name was the Texas supa-sweet onion.
How should you bury an onion?
... in a shallot grave!
What do all the onions decide to do over unfair wages? They decide to form a labor onion.
What does an onion say when you are upset because of it one day? It says, "I am sorry that I made you cry!"
What do you call an onion monk who is present everywhere? Ommnion!
Why did the farmer decide not to buy an extra phone? It was because he already had one for onion rings.
How will the other onions remember the onion that died? It will be forever minced!
In the history class, the onion teachers taught the student onions that during the vegetable cold war, the Soviet Onion was a superpower.
How do you describe an onion which is in its early stages after birth? You say it is in its onion-ic period of its life.
Which venue did all the vegetables choose to open their fighting club in? An onion ring!
My wife said that onions are the only vegetable that makes her cry
So I threw a pumpkin at her
Onions are great at being psychologists as they let people cry their hearts out in front of them.
Onions have had a long process in the evolutionary chain. They have evolved into today's onions from onionderthals.
As two onions were crossing the road, one of them was run over by a car. Upon being rushed to the hospital, the doctor informed the other onion, "I have some news that is going to make you cry!"
On which website will you learn about the hidden gossips and secrets of the onion world? On the website Wiki-Leeks.
What do you call an onion who wants to go on romantic dates in Paris? A French onion.
For the last few Sundays, I have been receiving an onion pun in the mail. I don't know who is sending them. Guess it is onionymous.
What is the favorite punk band of onions? It is a band known as "Good Shallot"!
I once saw an onion that had been preserved for ages. It was an Egyptian onion.
I don't know what happened, but the moment I brought the onion into the kitchen, everything got rejuvenated, and everything started feeling fresh! Guess this really is a spring onion.
What happened when the onion tried to cross the bridge guarded by Gandalf? Gandalf shouted, "You shallot pass this bridge!"
How do you know the French Onion is Canadian?
Because the oignon est!
What do you call an edible ion?
An onion
“Spring, salad, shallot, picked”, said a friend. He knows his onions.
When the baby onion was misbehaving, the father onion told it, "You better behave, you cheeky chops!"
Did you hear about the man chopping an onion with the Grim Reaper?
He was dicing with death
Where did the onion find his family history?
In the archives
The Bee Gees were such fans of onions that they even dedicated a song to it. They named it 'Chives Talking'.
Go to BabaMail
