When the baby onion was misbehaving, the father onion told it, "You better behave, you cheeky chops!"
My son ate daffodil bulbs instead of onions
But that's really serious! Is he in hospital?
Yes, he's still a bit yellow, but he should be coming out in the spring.
What is the greeting that Korean onions tell each other when they meet in the streets? They say 'Onion-Haseyo'.
What do all the onions decide to do over unfair wages? They decide to form a labor onion.
Why did the farmer decide not to buy an extra phone? It was because he already had one for onion rings.
I used to sell loose onions
Until I got the sack‬
What is the similarity between a superhero and an onion? They both have layers.
My wife said that onions are the only vegetable that makes her cry
So I threw a pumpkin at her
Onions are unable to store water inside them because there is always a leek.
When the baby onion died just after being born, the doctors classified it as an o-neonatal death.
One day on the highway, I saw a packet of onions and cheese walking down the road. When I offered them a lift, they declined by saying that they were 'Walkers'.
Onions are great gymnasts as they have the advantage of swinging on the onion rings.
What do you get when you put the number 3.14 in the middle of the onions? You get o-pi-nions!
What is the similarity between my wallet and an onion? Whenever I open both of them, I cry.
What's brown and rhymes with Snoop?
French onion soup.
My biology class was going on and on, and I was stuck in the middle of it. Well, you know, this is how it feels to be an on-i-on.
I was very surprised to hear those insane rapping skills from my green onions. It had lived up to its name of rapscallion.
What do you call a sweet onion? Caramelized!
What happens when an onion burps at the most awkward time? It releases tear gas.
Which is the fanciest onion? A cocktail onion.
What is the only way one does not have to cry while cutting onions? They simply don't have to form emotional bonds with it.
I don't know what happened, but the moment I brought the onion into the kitchen, everything got rejuvenated, and everything started feeling fresh! Guess this really is a spring onion.
Why do onions have poor self-image?
Because people cry when they get onions naked.
When the onion band covered the song Waka Waka by Shakira, they started calling the song 'Walla Walla'.
How do you describe an onion which is in its early stages after birth? You say it is in its onion-ic period of its life.
What do you call the onions which are small and yellow and very naughty? You call it a minonion!
Which venue did all the vegetables choose to open their fighting club in? An onion ring!
What do you call a dog who only eats garlic and onions?
A dog with a bark worse than its bite.
To which tier of fruits and vegetables do onions belong? They belong to the teary.
What did the two onions who were lovers say to each other before being separated? "Our love will forever go-nion on!"
What is the favorite color of onions all around the world? Their favorite color is the o-neon.
Did you hear about the man chopping an onion with the Grim Reaper?
He was dicing with death
The Bee Gees were such fans of onions that they even dedicated a song to it. They named it 'Chives Talking'.
What is the name of the onion ring that cannot but be funny? It is a Funyon!
The late actor Sir Sean Connery was a big fan of the onion because well, he usshed to love them shh-allot.
During the battle between the two onion kings, one of them was on the back foot as it was leek-ing blood.
I recently bought my grandson a vegetable-themed pogo stick exclusively made from spring onions.
What do you call one green onion that doesn't listen to anyone and is very naughty? It is called a rapscallion!
What was the event of the onion family getting back together called as? A family reonion.
The old and wise onion had once told me that life is similar to onions. Whenever we peel off our protective layers, we end up crying.
What do you call an onion who wants to go on romantic dates in Paris? A French onion.