What do you call who has been electrocuted? You call it anion.
When the onion band covered the song Waka Waka by Shakira, they started calling the song 'Walla Walla'.
What is the similarity between my wallet and an onion? Whenever I open both of them, I cry.
Which venue did all the vegetables choose to open their fighting club in? An onion ring!
How should you bury an onion?
... in a shallot grave!
What did the two onions who were lovers say to each other before being separated? "Our love will forever go-nion on!"
What do you call an onion monk who is present everywhere? Ommnion!
My biology class was going on and on, and I was stuck in the middle of it. Well, you know, this is how it feels to be an on-i-on.
What do you call a sweet onion? Caramelized!
What is the onion that laughs a lot and is small and white in color? It is a tickled onion.
I was very surprised to hear those insane rapping skills from my green onions. It had lived up to its name of rapscallion.
What is the only way one does not have to cry while cutting onions? They simply don't have to form emotional bonds with it.
My wife said that onions are the only vegetable that makes her cry
So I threw a pumpkin at her
Last year, when I went to Texas, I met this very polite and gentle onion. Its name was the Texas supa-sweet onion.
Did you hear what happened between the cook and the onion?
I think there was a fight. It got a little dicey and tears were shed.
Worried about overcooking your onion?
Don't sweat it.
To which tier of fruits and vegetables do onions belong? They belong to the teary.
In the history class, the onion teachers taught the student onions that during the vegetable cold war, the Soviet Onion was a superpower.
All the other vegetables have always felt very emotional whenever they are near the onion.
The old and wise onion had once told me that life is similar to onions. Whenever we peel off our protective layers, we end up crying.
Did you hear about the man chopping an onion with the Grim Reaper?
He was dicing with death
Onions are great gymnasts as they have the advantage of swinging on the onion rings.
Which is the fanciest onion? A cocktail onion.
What do you call the onions which are small and yellow and very naughty? You call it a minonion!
For the last few Sundays, I have been receiving an onion pun in the mail. I don't know who is sending them. Guess it is onionymous.
When I proposed to my fiancee, she started crying. It must be because I proposed to her with an onion ring.
What kind of chips do you eat in the bath?
Shower cream and onion.
What is the favorite punk band of onions? It is a band known as "Good Shallot"!
Where did the onion find his family history?
In the archives
I used to sell loose onions
Until I got the sack
What do you call a dog who only eats garlic and onions?
A dog with a bark worse than its bite.
I recently heard on the news that due to newly detected fungus infection in the onions, the government was recalling all the recent packages of the vegetables. Despite being a farmer, I had no tears to shed over this.
When the baby onion was misbehaving, the father onion told it, "You better behave, you cheeky chops!"
What do you call an onion that is very valuable to jewelers? You call it a pearl onion.
What do you call an edible ion?
An onion
What do you call an onion that carries electromagnetic waves? A photonion.
I got a packet of onions from the supermarket yesterday. Somehow, by today, all of them have disappeared. Guess this is why the shopkeeper warned me not to buy Bermuda Onions.
I walked into the kitchen and saw my wife chopping onions which made me cry
Onions was a good dog
I once saw an onion that had been preserved for ages. It was an Egyptian onion.
Have you seen that film about the onion that turns into a spider?
It's called Shallot's Web
Whats the difference between onions and girls?
I cry when I cut up onions.
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