What's brown and rhymes with Snoop?
French onion soup.
The late actor Sir Sean Connery was a big fan of the onion because well, he usshed to love them shh-allot.
What is the similarity between a superhero and an onion? They both have layers.
Which venue did all the vegetables choose to open their fighting club in? An onion ring!
What happened when the onion tried to cross the bridge guarded by Gandalf? Gandalf shouted, "You shallot pass this bridge!"
When I told my friend an onion pun, he started crying. I asked whether they were tears of happiness?
What do you call the onions which are small and yellow and very naughty? You call it a minonion!
I was very surprised to hear those insane rapping skills from my green onions. It had lived up to its name of rapscallion.
When the baby onion was misbehaving, the father onion told it, "You better behave, you cheeky chops!"
Which is the fanciest onion? A cocktail onion.
What is the greeting that Korean onions tell each other when they meet in the streets? They say 'Onion-Haseyo'.
To which tier of fruits and vegetables do onions belong? They belong to the teary.
Did you hear what happened between the cook and the onion?
I think there was a fight. It got a little dicey and tears were shed.
Did you hear about the man chopping an onion with the Grim Reaper?
He was dicing with death
What do you call a communist onion? You call it a red onion.
Worried about overcooking your onion?
Don't sweat it.
How do you know the French Onion is Canadian?
Because the oignon est!
What was the event of the onion family getting back together called as? A family reonion.
What do you call a hobbit who has bad breath? He is known as Lord of Onion Rings!
My wife’s an abysmal cook.
She tried combining corned beef, onions and potatoes…
She made a right hash of it.
I walked into the kitchen and saw my wife chopping onions which made me cry
Onions was a good dog
What is the favorite color of onions all around the world? Their favorite color is the o-neon.
What do you call an onion that carries electromagnetic waves? A photonion.
My wife said that onions are the only vegetable that makes her cry
So I threw a pumpkin at her
What is the smallest onion known as? It is known as an electronion.
What do you call an onion who wants to go on romantic dates in Paris? A French onion.
Where do you most often find onions having a drink? In the salad bar.
As two onions were crossing the road, one of them was run over by a car. Upon being rushed to the hospital, the doctor informed the other onion, "I have some news that is going to make you cry!"
I was making a salad the other day, and I thought I heard a small red vegetable that was a bit like an onion whispering. Must have been a hoarse radish.
What is the onion that laughs a lot and is small and white in color? It is a tickled onion.
What does an onion say when you are upset because of it one day? It says, "I am sorry that I made you cry!"
What do you call an onion that keeps on jumping up and down? You call it a spring onion!
Have you seen that film about the onion that turns into a spider?
It's called Shallot's Web
In the history class, the onion teachers taught the student onions that during the vegetable cold war, the Soviet Onion was a superpower.
Last year, when I went to Texas, I met this very polite and gentle onion. Its name was the Texas supa-sweet onion.
At the bar mitzvah ceremony, the Jewish onion greeted his uncle by saying 'Shallot'.
Onions have had a long process in the evolutionary chain. They have evolved into today's onions from onionderthals.
What do you call an onion that is very valuable to jewelers? You call it a pearl onion.
There was a bull in the neighborhood who would always vandalize my farm. Guess it was because I harvested Spanish onions.
When the baby onion died just after being born, the doctors classified it as an o-neonatal death.
What do you call a dog who only eats garlic and onions?
A dog with a bark worse than its bite.
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