During the battle between the two onion kings, one of them was on the back foot as it was leek-ing blood.
How do you know the French Onion is Canadian?
Because the oignon est!
What do you say to a small onion that has helped you?
Thanks shallot.
“Spring, salad, shallot, picked”, said a friend. He knows his onions.
Did you hear what happened between the cook and the onion?
I think there was a fight. It got a little dicey and tears were shed.
Where did the onion find his family history?
In the archives
I was making a salad the other day, and I thought I heard a small red vegetable that was a bit like an onion whispering. Must have been a hoarse radish.
In the history class, the onion teachers taught the student onions that during the vegetable cold war, the Soviet Onion was a superpower.
What do you call the onions which are small and yellow and very naughty? You call it a minonion!
Why do onions have poor self-image?
Because people cry when they get onions naked.
What kind of chips do you eat in the bath?
Shower cream and onion.
What happens when an onion burps at the most awkward time? It releases tear gas.
Have you seen that film about the onion that turns into a spider?
It's called Shallot's Web
The Bee Gees were such fans of onions that they even dedicated a song to it. They named it 'Chives Talking'.
What is the similarity between my wallet and an onion? Whenever I open both of them, I cry.
What is the favorite color of onions all around the world? Their favorite color is the o-neon.
I once saw an onion that had been preserved for ages. It was an Egyptian onion.
The onion husband and wife had a fight, and she told him that he shouldn't have exposed all his layers because it was making her cry.
What do you call a sweet onion? Caramelized!
The onion teacher was teaching her onion students about figures of speech. Today, she was teaching onionomatopia.
What does an onion say when you are upset because of it one day? It says, "I am sorry that I made you cry!"
My heart is like an onion...
I'm never getting a discount organ transplant again
The late actor Sir Sean Connery was a big fan of the onion because well, he usshed to love them shh-allot.
What happened when the onion tried to cross the bridge guarded by Gandalf? Gandalf shouted, "You shallot pass this bridge!"
When I proposed to my fiancee, she started crying. It must be because I proposed to her with an onion ring.
What do you say happened to an onion who got what it deserved? You say it got karma-lized.
How do you describe an onion which is in its early stages after birth? You say it is in its onion-ic period of its life.
While cutting the onions, my eyes were leek-ing tears
What is the similarity between a superhero and an onion? They both have layers.
What is the name of the horse that a knight onion rides? They ride a scallion.
Where do you most often find onions having a drink? In the salad bar.
Whats the difference between onions and girls?
I cry when I cut up onions.
What is the smallest onion known as? It is known as an electronion.
What was the event of the onion family getting back together called as? A family reonion.
My son ate daffodil bulbs instead of onions
But that's really serious! Is he in hospital?
Yes, he's still a bit yellow, but he should be coming out in the spring.
On my farm, an entire lot of onions had some allergic reactions that broke out in chives!
I was very surprised to hear those insane rapping skills from my green onions. It had lived up to its name of rapscallion.
As two onions were crossing the road, one of them was run over by a car. Upon being rushed to the hospital, the doctor informed the other onion, "I have some news that is going to make you cry!"
Why does Mr. Potato Head have a mobile?
In case Mr. Onion rings.
What do you get when you put the number 3.14 in the middle of the onions? You get o-pi-nions!
I recently bought my grandson a vegetable-themed pogo stick exclusively made from spring onions.
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