Did you hear what happened between the cook and the onion?
I think there was a fight. It got a little dicey and tears were shed.
Why do onions have poor self-image?
Because people cry when they get onions naked.
What is the similarity between my wallet and an onion? Whenever I open both of them, I cry.
Although many other vegetables live above the ground, onions live underground. This is because they have many lairs.
What is the smallest onion known as? It is known as an electronion.
The old and wise onion had once told me that life is similar to onions. Whenever we peel off our protective layers, we end up crying.
Why does Mr. Potato Head have a mobile?
In case Mr. Onion rings.
When the onion band covered the song Waka Waka by Shakira, they started calling the song 'Walla Walla'.
In the history class, the onion teachers taught the student onions that during the vegetable cold war, the Soviet Onion was a superpower.
What do you call an onion who wants to go on romantic dates in Paris? A French onion.
My wife said that onions are the only vegetable that makes her cry
So I threw a pumpkin at her
My heart is like an onion...
I'm never getting a discount organ transplant again
Whats the difference between onions and girls?
I cry when I cut up onions.
What did the two onions who were lovers say to each other before being separated? "Our love will forever go-nion on!"
What is the only way one does not have to cry while cutting onions? They simply don't have to form emotional bonds with it.
What do you call an edible ion?
An onion
What does an onion say when you are upset because of it one day? It says, "I am sorry that I made you cry!"
What is the favorite color of onions all around the world? Their favorite color is the o-neon.
What do you call a dog who only eats garlic and onions?
A dog with a bark worse than its bite.
When I told my friend an onion pun, he started crying. I asked whether they were tears of happiness?
Where do you most often find onions having a drink? In the salad bar.
An onion just told me a joke.
I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Onions are unable to store water inside them because there is always a leek.
How do you know the French Onion is Canadian?
Because the oignon est!
“Spring, salad, shallot, picked”, said a friend. He knows his onions.
What do you call a hobbit who has bad breath? He is known as Lord of Onion Rings!
What do you call a sweet onion? Caramelized!
I was surprised at the number of onions needed for this dish- it calls for shallot of onions.
I used to sell loose onions
Until I got the sack
The Bee Gees were such fans of onions that they even dedicated a song to it. They named it 'Chives Talking'.
What do you say to a small onion that has helped you?
Thanks shallot.
What's brown and rhymes with Snoop?
French onion soup.
Last year, when I went to Texas, I met this very polite and gentle onion. Its name was the Texas supa-sweet onion.
Did you hear about the man chopping an onion with the Grim Reaper?
He was dicing with death
What is the onion that laughs a lot and is small and white in color? It is a tickled onion.
What do all the onions decide to do over unfair wages? They decide to form a labor onion.
Have you seen that film about the onion that turns into a spider?
It's called Shallot's Web
I got a packet of onions from the supermarket yesterday. Somehow, by today, all of them have disappeared. Guess this is why the shopkeeper warned me not to buy Bermuda Onions.
Which venue did all the vegetables choose to open their fighting club in? An onion ring!
I recently heard on the news that due to newly detected fungus infection in the onions, the government was recalling all the recent packages of the vegetables. Despite being a farmer, I had no tears to shed over this.
The late actor Sir Sean Connery was a big fan of the onion because well, he usshed to love them shh-allot.
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