What do you say happened to an onion who got what it deserved? You say it got karma-lized.
“Spring, salad, shallot, picked”, said a friend. He knows his onions.
What happens when an onion burps at the most awkward time? It releases tear gas.
What do you call a communist onion? You call it a red onion.
What do you call who has been electrocuted? You call it anion.
What do you call an edible ion?
An onion
What is the name of the horse that a knight onion rides? They ride a scallion.
What do you call an onion monk who is present everywhere? Ommnion!
What do you call an onion that is very valuable to jewelers? You call it a pearl onion.
My biology class was going on and on, and I was stuck in the middle of it. Well, you know, this is how it feels to be an on-i-on.
What do you call the onions which are small and yellow and very naughty? You call it a minonion!
Where do you most often find onions having a drink? In the salad bar.
What do you call a dog who only eats garlic and onions?
A dog with a bark worse than its bite.
My wife said that onions are the only vegetable that makes her cry
So I threw a pumpkin at her
What do you call an onion who wants to go on romantic dates in Paris? A French onion.
My wife’s an abysmal cook.
She tried combining corned beef, onions and potatoes…
She made a right hash of it.
When the baby onion was misbehaving, the father onion told it, "You better behave, you cheeky chops!"
I got a packet of onions from the supermarket yesterday. Somehow, by today, all of them have disappeared. Guess this is why the shopkeeper warned me not to buy Bermuda Onions.
What is the name of the onion ring that cannot but be funny? It is a Funyon!
I was very surprised to hear those insane rapping skills from my green onions. It had lived up to its name of rapscallion.
What is the greeting that Korean onions tell each other when they meet in the streets? They say 'Onion-Haseyo'.
Did you hear what happened between the cook and the onion?
I think there was a fight. It got a little dicey and tears were shed.
I don't know what happened, but the moment I brought the onion into the kitchen, everything got rejuvenated, and everything started feeling fresh! Guess this really is a spring onion.
What do you call a sweet onion? Caramelized!
What did the two onions who were lovers say to each other before being separated? "Our love will forever go-nion on!"
What's brown and rhymes with Snoop?
French onion soup.
Have you seen that film about the onion that turns into a spider?
It's called Shallot's Web
What do you call an onion that keeps on jumping up and down? You call it a spring onion!
When I proposed to my fiancee, she started crying. It must be because I proposed to her with an onion ring.
What is the similarity between my wallet and an onion? Whenever I open both of them, I cry.
I was surprised at the number of onions needed for this dish- it calls for shallot of onions.
While cutting the onions, my eyes were leek-ing tears
What is the favorite punk band of onions? It is a band known as "Good Shallot"!
I was making a salad the other day, and I thought I heard a small red vegetable that was a bit like an onion whispering. Must have been a hoarse radish.
Onions are great at being psychologists as they let people cry their hearts out in front of them.
When the baby onion died just after being born, the doctors classified it as an o-neonatal death.
An onion just told me a joke.
I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
What is the favorite color of onions all around the world? Their favorite color is the o-neon.
Where did the onion find his family history?
In the archives
What is the only way one does not have to cry while cutting onions? They simply don't have to form emotional bonds with it.
What do you say to a small onion that has helped you?
Thanks shallot.
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