What do you call an onion who wants to go on romantic dates in Paris? A French onion.
I was making a salad the other day, and I thought I heard a small red vegetable that was a bit like an onion whispering. Must have been a hoarse radish.
For the last few Sundays, I have been receiving an onion pun in the mail. I don't know who is sending them. Guess it is onionymous.
Whats the difference between onions and girls?
I cry when I cut up onions.
During the battle between the two onion kings, one of them was on the back foot as it was leek-ing blood.
Did you hear what happened between the cook and the onion?
I think there was a fight. It got a little dicey and tears were shed.
What happened when the onion tried to cross the bridge guarded by Gandalf? Gandalf shouted, "You shallot pass this bridge!"
I recently read a book by an onion which had opened up on its life. Midway through the book, I started crying.
I don't know what happened, but the moment I brought the onion into the kitchen, everything got rejuvenated, and everything started feeling fresh! Guess this really is a spring onion.
My son ate daffodil bulbs instead of onions
But that's really serious! Is he in hospital?
Yes, he's still a bit yellow, but he should be coming out in the spring.
What do you call one green onion that doesn't listen to anyone and is very naughty? It is called a rapscallion!
The onion teacher was teaching her onion students about figures of speech. Today, she was teaching onionomatopia.
What is the name of the onion ring that cannot but be funny? It is a Funyon!
While cutting the onions, my eyes were leek-ing tears
To which tier of fruits and vegetables do onions belong? They belong to the teary.
What is the similarity between my wallet and an onion? Whenever I open both of them, I cry.
Onions are great at being psychologists as they let people cry their hearts out in front of them.
I got a packet of onions from the supermarket yesterday. Somehow, by today, all of them have disappeared. Guess this is why the shopkeeper warned me not to buy Bermuda Onions.
I once saw an onion that had been preserved for ages. It was an Egyptian onion.
My biology class was going on and on, and I was stuck in the middle of it. Well, you know, this is how it feels to be an on-i-on.
When the baby onion was misbehaving, the father onion told it, "You better behave, you cheeky chops!"
What do you call an onion that is very valuable to jewelers? You call it a pearl onion.
What do you call an onion that is very sick and has a high temperature? It is a boiling onion.
Where do you most often find onions having a drink? In the salad bar.
Onions are great gymnasts as they have the advantage of swinging on the onion rings.
What is the favorite punk band of onions? It is a band known as "Good Shallot"!
What is the greeting that Korean onions tell each other when they meet in the streets? They say 'Onion-Haseyo'.
The old and wise onion had once told me that life is similar to onions. Whenever we peel off our protective layers, we end up crying.
What do all the onions decide to do over unfair wages? They decide to form a labor onion.
What did the two onions who were lovers say to each other before being separated? "Our love will forever go-nion on!"
Onions have had a long process in the evolutionary chain. They have evolved into today's onions from onionderthals.
Worried about overcooking your onion?
Don't sweat it.
The onion husband and wife had a fight, and she told him that he shouldn't have exposed all his layers because it was making her cry.
What is the name of the horse that a knight onion rides? They ride a scallion.
Did you hear about the man chopping an onion with the Grim Reaper?
He was dicing with death
What kind of chips do you eat in the bath?
Shower cream and onion.
An onion just told me a joke.
I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Have you seen that film about the onion that turns into a spider?
It's called Shallot's Web
What is the onion that laughs a lot and is small and white in color? It is a tickled onion.
My heart is like an onion...
I'm never getting a discount organ transplant again
As two onions were crossing the road, one of them was run over by a car. Upon being rushed to the hospital, the doctor informed the other onion, "I have some news that is going to make you cry!"
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