What's brown and rhymes with Snoop?
French onion soup.
Worried about overcooking your onion?
Don't sweat it.
Where do you most often find onions having a drink? In the salad bar.
I once saw an onion that had been preserved for ages. It was an Egyptian onion.
What do you say to a small onion that has helped you?
Thanks shallot.
My biology class was going on and on, and I was stuck in the middle of it. Well, you know, this is how it feels to be an on-i-on.
I don't know what happened, but the moment I brought the onion into the kitchen, everything got rejuvenated, and everything started feeling fresh! Guess this really is a spring onion.
Why does Mr. Potato Head have a mobile?
In case Mr. Onion rings.
What is the onion that laughs a lot and is small and white in color? It is a tickled onion.
I used to sell loose onions
Until I got the sack‬
Have you seen that film about the onion that turns into a spider?
It's called Shallot's Web
One day on the highway, I saw a packet of onions and cheese walking down the road. When I offered them a lift, they declined by saying that they were 'Walkers'.
On which website will you learn about the hidden gossips and secrets of the onion world? On the website Wiki-Leeks.
When I proposed to my fiancee, she started crying. It must be because I proposed to her with an onion ring.
What does an onion say when you are upset because of it one day? It says, "I am sorry that I made you cry!"
All the other vegetables have always felt very emotional whenever they are near the onion.
What do you call an onion who wants to go on romantic dates in Paris? A French onion.
Which venue did all the vegetables choose to open their fighting club in? An onion ring!
What do you call an edible ion?
An onion
Onions are unable to store water inside them because there is always a leek.
When the baby onion was misbehaving, the father onion told it, "You better behave, you cheeky chops!"
My heart is like an onion...
I'm never getting a discount organ transplant again
While cutting the onions, my eyes were leek-ing tears
What is the greeting that Korean onions tell each other when they meet in the streets? They say 'Onion-Haseyo'.
What do all the onions decide to do over unfair wages? They decide to form a labor onion.
My son ate daffodil bulbs instead of onions
But that's really serious! Is he in hospital?
Yes, he's still a bit yellow, but he should be coming out in the spring.
What is the similarity between my wallet and an onion? Whenever I open both of them, I cry.
What do you say happened to an onion who got what it deserved? You say it got karma-lized.
I walked into the kitchen and saw my wife chopping onions which made me cry
Onions was a good dog
Last year, when I went to Texas, I met this very polite and gentle onion. Its name was the Texas supa-sweet onion.
What is the only way one does not have to cry while cutting onions? They simply don't have to form emotional bonds with it.
What was the event of the onion family getting back together called as? A family reonion.
What kind of chips do you eat in the bath?
Shower cream and onion.
My wife said that onions are the only vegetable that makes her cry
So I threw a pumpkin at her
At the bar mitzvah ceremony, the Jewish onion greeted his uncle by saying 'Shallot'.
What did the two onions who were lovers say to each other before being separated? "Our love will forever go-nion on!"
On my farm, an entire lot of onions had some allergic reactions that broke out in chives!
What do you call a communist onion? You call it a red onion.
For the last few Sundays, I have been receiving an onion pun in the mail. I don't know who is sending them. Guess it is onionymous.
What do you call a sweet onion? Caramelized!
Why did the farmer decide not to buy an extra phone? It was because he already had one for onion rings.
Did you hear what happened between the cook and the onion?
I think there was a fight. It got a little dicey and tears were shed.
What is the similarity between a superhero and an onion? They both have layers.
I was making a salad the other day, and I thought I heard a small red vegetable that was a bit like an onion whispering. Must have been a hoarse radish.
What happens when an onion burps at the most awkward time? It releases tear gas.
What do you call an onion who decides to be very eco-friendly in its approach? You name it a green onion.
How do you describe an onion which is in its early stages after birth? You say it is in its onion-ic period of its life.
How should you bury an onion?
... in a shallot grave!
What do you call an onion monk who is present everywhere? Ommnion!
What do you call who has been electrocuted? You call it anion.