As two onions were crossing the road, one of them was run over by a car. Upon being rushed to the hospital, the doctor informed the other onion, "I have some news that is going to make you cry!"
What do you call who has been electrocuted? You call it anion.
What do you call an onion who decides to be very eco-friendly in its approach? You name it a green onion.
What happens when an onion burps at the most awkward time? It releases tear gas.
There was a bull in the neighborhood who would always vandalize my farm. Guess it was because I harvested Spanish onions.
Although many other vegetables live above the ground, onions live underground. This is because they have many lairs.
The onion teacher was teaching her onion students about figures of speech. Today, she was teaching onionomatopia.
Worried about overcooking your onion?
Don't sweat it.
Where did the onion find his family history?
In the archives
Which venue did all the vegetables choose to open their fighting club in? An onion ring!
When the baby onion was misbehaving, the father onion told it, "You better behave, you cheeky chops!"
What do you say happened to an onion who got what it deserved? You say it got karma-lized.
I recently heard on the news that due to newly detected fungus infection in the onions, the government was recalling all the recent packages of the vegetables. Despite being a farmer, I had no tears to shed over this.
What is the similarity between a superhero and an onion? They both have layers.
My son ate daffodil bulbs instead of onions
But that's really serious! Is he in hospital?
Yes, he's still a bit yellow, but he should be coming out in the spring.
What does an onion say when you are upset because of it one day? It says, "I am sorry that I made you cry!"
What do all the onions decide to do over unfair wages? They decide to form a labor onion.
What do you call an onion monk who is present everywhere? Ommnion!
What do you call an onion that is very valuable to jewelers? You call it a pearl onion.
My heart is like an onion...
I'm never getting a discount organ transplant again
Why does Mr. Potato Head have a mobile?
In case Mr. Onion rings.
What is the only way one does not have to cry while cutting onions? They simply don't have to form emotional bonds with it.
I was making a salad the other day, and I thought I heard a small red vegetable that was a bit like an onion whispering. Must have been a hoarse radish.
In the history class, the onion teachers taught the student onions that during the vegetable cold war, the Soviet Onion was a superpower.
Why did the farmer decide not to buy an extra phone? It was because he already had one for onion rings.
On my farm, an entire lot of onions had some allergic reactions that broke out in chives!
How should you bury an onion?
... in a shallot grave!
What do you call a sweet onion? Caramelized!
I got a packet of onions from the supermarket yesterday. Somehow, by today, all of them have disappeared. Guess this is why the shopkeeper warned me not to buy Bermuda Onions.
Onions are great at being psychologists as they let people cry their hearts out in front of them.
The onion husband and wife had a fight, and she told him that he shouldn't have exposed all his layers because it was making her cry.
When the onion band covered the song Waka Waka by Shakira, they started calling the song 'Walla Walla'.
How do you know the French Onion is Canadian?
Because the oignon est!
What is the smallest onion known as? It is known as an electronion.
I walked into the kitchen and saw my wife chopping onions which made me cry
Onions was a good dog
What is the onion that laughs a lot and is small and white in color? It is a tickled onion.
My biology class was going on and on, and I was stuck in the middle of it. Well, you know, this is how it feels to be an on-i-on.
I recently read a book by an onion which had opened up on its life. Midway through the book, I started crying.
What do you call an onion that keeps on jumping up and down? You call it a spring onion!
Last year, when I went to Texas, I met this very polite and gentle onion. Its name was the Texas supa-sweet onion.
One day on the highway, I saw a packet of onions and cheese walking down the road. When I offered them a lift, they declined by saying that they were 'Walkers'.