I recently bought my grandson a vegetable-themed pogo stick exclusively made from spring onions.
Worried about overcooking your onion?
Don't sweat it.
What do you call a communist onion? You call it a red onion.
As two onions were crossing the road, one of them was run over by a car. Upon being rushed to the hospital, the doctor informed the other onion, "I have some news that is going to make you cry!"
What do you call a dog who only eats garlic and onions?
A dog with a bark worse than its bite.
On which website will you learn about the hidden gossips and secrets of the onion world? On the website Wiki-Leeks.
What do you say to a small onion that has helped you?
Thanks shallot.
Where did the onion find his family history?
In the archives
How do you know the French Onion is Canadian?
Because the oignon est!
Why does Mr. Potato Head have a mobile?
In case Mr. Onion rings.
Onions are great gymnasts as they have the advantage of swinging on the onion rings.
What is the name of the onion ring that cannot but be funny? It is a Funyon!
How will the other onions remember the onion that died? It will be forever minced!
“Spring, salad, shallot, picked”, said a friend. He knows his onions.
The onion husband and wife had a fight, and she told him that he shouldn't have exposed all his layers because it was making her cry.
What do you call an edible ion?
An onion
What's brown and rhymes with Snoop?
French onion soup.
My son ate daffodil bulbs instead of onions
But that's really serious! Is he in hospital?
Yes, he's still a bit yellow, but he should be coming out in the spring.
When the onion band covered the song Waka Waka by Shakira, they started calling the song 'Walla Walla'.
Have you seen that film about the onion that turns into a spider?
It's called Shallot's Web
When I told my friend an onion pun, he started crying. I asked whether they were tears of happiness?
What do you say happened to an onion who got what it deserved? You say it got karma-lized.
Onions are great at being psychologists as they let people cry their hearts out in front of them.
What happened when the onion tried to cross the bridge guarded by Gandalf? Gandalf shouted, "You shallot pass this bridge!"
When the baby onion was misbehaving, the father onion told it, "You better behave, you cheeky chops!"
What kind of chips do you eat in the bath?
Shower cream and onion.
I recently heard on the news that due to newly detected fungus infection in the onions, the government was recalling all the recent packages of the vegetables. Despite being a farmer, I had no tears to shed over this.
What do you call a sweet onion? Caramelized!
What is the similarity between my wallet and an onion? Whenever I open both of them, I cry.
What is the onion that laughs a lot and is small and white in color? It is a tickled onion.
I figured out a way to chop onions without crying...
The trick is avoiding getting emotionally attached to the onion.
What does an onion say when you are upset because of it one day? It says, "I am sorry that I made you cry!"
The Bee Gees were such fans of onions that they even dedicated a song to it. They named it 'Chives Talking'.
An onion just told me a joke.
I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I don't know what happened, but the moment I brought the onion into the kitchen, everything got rejuvenated, and everything started feeling fresh! Guess this really is a spring onion.
Which is the fanciest onion? A cocktail onion.
What do you call an onion that carries electromagnetic waves? A photonion.
Where do you most often find onions having a drink? In the salad bar.
At the bar mitzvah ceremony, the Jewish onion greeted his uncle by saying 'Shallot'.
My heart is like an onion...
I'm never getting a discount organ transplant again
There was a bull in the neighborhood who would always vandalize my farm. Guess it was because I harvested Spanish onions.
How do you describe an onion which is in its early stages after birth? You say it is in its onion-ic period of its life.
The late actor Sir Sean Connery was a big fan of the onion because well, he usshed to love them shh-allot.
What is the greeting that Korean onions tell each other when they meet in the streets? They say 'Onion-Haseyo'.
I walked into the kitchen and saw my wife chopping onions which made me cry
Onions was a good dog
What do you get when you cross a bean and an onion?
Teargas.
While cutting the onions, my eyes were leek-ing tears
What is the favorite punk band of onions? It is a band known as "Good Shallot"!
When the baby onion died just after being born, the doctors classified it as an o-neonatal death.
Onions are unable to store water inside them because there is always a leek.
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